Austrian Death MachineDouble Brutal
Rating: 3.5/5.0 —Very good for what it is
Label: Metal Blade (US | EU)
Website(s): austriandeathmachine.com | myspace.com/austriandeathmachine
Release Date(s): EU: 25.09.2009 | US: 09.29.2009

Austrian_Death_Machine_-_Double_Brutal_CD1_artworkAustrian Death Machine is a joke.  It’s even a funny joke.  With Arnold being the governor of California as well as the cheesiest movie star of our times, if not all-time, as well as a huge internet sensation, it is not at ALL a surprise that someone is doing this.  (Though, according to Wikipedia there is another band that has been doing this for 7 years longer than Austrian Death Machine.)

Musically, Austrian Death Machine is pretty much a metalcore/deathcore band, though honestly when it comes to joke bands, it’s pretty much OK.  I mean, the riffing is solid, the guest soloists are really solid and the lyrics are great (“It’s simple, if it jiggles it’s fat!”).  But get ready for all of the trappings of modern metalcore/deathcore if you go out and check out this album.  It’s got the hyper-replaced drums, hardcore vocals and breakdowny kind of stuff.  But, it really does have excellent solos throughout the whole album.

The segue tracks are pretty funny and the dude who does the Ahhnold impressions does a really good job, I have to say.  But, of course, as my critique of Swashbuckle pointed out: how long of a shelf-life does this stuff have?  I mean, even the pirate topic is definitely more fruitful than Arnold over time, right?  Double Brutal has Tim (from As I Lay Dying who also does everything but the guitar solos and the Arnold impressions) digging up material that he’s already used once (“Who Is Your Daddy and What Does He Do?”) again, and I can’t imagine that it has shelf life beyond one more record.

But whatever, Austrian Death Machine is unabashed about the fact that this is to be nothing but heavy music with silly lyrics that fits precisely into every trend in metal these days.  From that perspective they do an excellent job.  But, of course, I can’t in good conscience rate this above “Very good” because, honestly, it can’t be better than that.  Sure, it’s funny, it’s heavy, but the ADM Band no logojokes will only be funny a few times and then the segues will be annoying.

The cover record is pretty cool, too, but honestly did I need to ever hear “Trapped Under Ice” with metalcore vocals?  Probably not.  But yeah, if you’re a fan of hearing Arnold scream funny metal things than you’ll probably really enjoy this whole thing.

I suggest you memorize all these lyrics and use it as good drunken metal guy music.  That’s really what it is, in the end.  The kind of shit that would be fun when you and your metal buddies are getting wasted and need something to scream and laugh at.  Other than that, this stuff doesn’t have a ton of redeeming qualities.

Share →