Calling All Angry Metal Wannabes!

dead_tired_writer2The time has come once again to hold an open casting call (totally without a casting couch) for new blood in our esteemed writing and reviewing pool. AMG Industries, Ltd. needs to grow and expand and we can only accomplish that by acquiring more talented, hardworking staff with an ear for metal and mind for wordsmithery.

Are you metal enough to work for free? Are you secure enough to submit to the whims of our draconian editorial staff who are ever prepared to chop and deride all drafts in their purview? Can you handle being assigned terrible albums as a form of hazing and sadistic torment? Do you like receiving hate mail from interweb trolls and bands alike? If you answered “yes” to some of these probing questions, you just might be crazy enough to join the Angry Metal Crusade.

Here are the rules, regulations and disclaimers to guide you in your ill-advised quest for AMG acceptance:

1. Select any metal album you don’t totally love or fully hate and write a review thereof no longer than 700 words.

2. Prepare a separate biographical paragraph that includes all the following information:

  • Name
  • Age
  • Location
  • Writing experience, if any
  • Musical preferences (i.e. death, black, doom, power, etc.)
  • Realistic assessment of free time available to work on assignments.

3. Send both the above to [email protected] within the next 2 weeks.

4. Patiently await consideration without harassing the AMG staff or adding to the already excessive hate mail quotient.

Ideally, we want people who can generate 1 review per week or better. Prior reviewing experience is certainly helpful, but not required. However, a deep, profoundly disturbing love of all things metal is essential and non-negotiable. Poseurs need not apply and must be killed. Choose wisely.

Writers-Block

 

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