dead_tired_writer2The time has come once again to hold an open casting call (totally without a casting couch) for new blood in our esteemed writing and reviewing pool. AMG Industries, Ltd. needs to grow and expand and we can only accomplish that by acquiring more talented, hardworking staff with an ear for metal and mind for wordsmithery.

Are you metal enough to work for free? Are you secure enough to submit to the whims of our draconian editorial staff who are ever prepared to chop and deride all drafts in their purview? Can you handle being assigned terrible albums as a form of hazing and sadistic torment? Do you like receiving hate mail from interweb trolls and bands alike? If you answered  “yes” to some of these probing questions, you just might be crazy enough to join the Angry Metal Crusade.

Here are the rules, regulations and disclaimers to guide you in your ill-advised quest for AMG acceptance:

1. Select any metal album you don’t totally love or fully hate and write a review thereof no longer than 700 words.

2. Prepare a separate biographical paragraph that includes all the following information:

  • Name
  • Age
  • Location
  • Writing experience, if any
  • Musical preferences (i.e. death, black, doom, power, etc.)
  • Realistic assessment of free time available to work on assignments.

3. Send both the above to [email protected] within the next 2 weeks.

4. Patiently await consideration without harassing the AMG staff or adding to the already excessive hate mail quotient.

Ideally, we want people who can generate 1 review per week or better. Prior reviewing experience is certainly helpful, but not required. However, a deep, profoundly disturbing love of all things metal is essential and non-negotiable. Poseurs need not apply and must be killed. Choose wisely.

Writers-Block

 

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  • https://bandcamp.com/jayalangoodwin Jay Alan Goodwin

    I think I’m better suited to trolling and just being belligerently disagreeable.

    …but hey: if you ever need a review of an album that’s “too mainstream!” for everyone else :P

  • Beunhaas

    Sounds fun! I think I will give this a try.

  • http://www.metalvortex.net/ [HKK] Hell³

    Are you guys gonna post the the hilariously bad applications? Because if you do, then I’m in! YAY FOR PUBLICATION!

    • http://Angrymetalguy.com Steel Druhm

      Gentlemen don’t tell of such things.

      • Kalsten

        Are there gentlemen in AMG? First notice I have.

  • Wizeguy

    Hmmmm, the little man living in my Medulla Oblongata says “Do it!” Should I heed his advice?

    • http://Angrymetalguy.com Steel Druhm

      Always listen to the voices in your head.

      • NeverBlack

        Steel Druhm and his always excellent advices! What us, the readers, would do without them?

  • Mike Eckman

    I would love to participate in something like this, but I just don’t have the time to commit to it. Having a 10 month old really cuts into my “metal time”! :)

    • http://Angrymetalguy.com Steel Druhm

      Maybe you just need to cut back on the gardening, champ!

    • http://www.angrymetalguy.com Angry Metal Guy

      Congrats on having a life outside of metal.

      • Angel of Deaf

        You mean metal is not everything? i don’t understand…

    • The Lascivious Snape

      Pretty much in the same sitch, except with a 9 month old.

      We recently moved a little further away from my office, extending my commute 10-15 minutes each way. So far, this has been AWESOME. Trips to and from work are now my best, undisturbed opportunity to listen to metal. There and back, I can absorb about an album a day.

      • funeraldoombuggy

        One child is easy, try having 2, it’s way crazier! Luckily my 5 year old’s fav band is Mastodon so are car rides are rocking!

        • Steve Castaldi

          I have my two year old hooked on Ozzy much to my wife’s dismay.

    • Steve Castaldi

      Same here , a two year old and a 3 month old. I’m just happy when I find the time to even come read AMG.

  • Chris Why?

    I may give this a shot. I have no issues with writing whatsoever, and could very well make the time, but this site has opened up a whole new world of stuff to me. I have grown a lot in my metal taste since coming here. This being the case, I’m afraid that I might hurt the superior quality of reviewing that I read here due to my tastes not being as advanced as I would want them to be. Maybe I’m better suited to be on this side of the fence. Then again, no harm in applying. In any case, INSECURITY COMPLETE!

    • http://Angrymetalguy.com Steel Druhm

      Glad you got that out of your system. Now send a submission!

  • http://walkyrie.com.ve/ Luis Robles

    OMG! : D

    Good thing i begung practicing back in 2013 on my friends place! I am definetily giving this a whirl.

  • http://balls.com testiklees

    BAILED ON MINE AND CHOSE TO TROLL MUAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA

  • Carlos Marrickvillian

    Wish I had the time to give it a shot.
    Will be interested to see what the new AMG content providers throw up.

  • Beardfist

    Does “quality of album actually chosen” factor into the selection process, or does it merely go into the “harumph!”-ing and nose-raising processes?

    • http://Angrymetalguy.com Steel Druhm

      Whatever album fits the bill of not loved nor hated. Those albums are the toughest to review.

  • JWG

    I would like to think that, yes, I do have “a deep, profoundly disturbing love of all things metal”…

    Except tungsten and molybdenum. Their inability to exist on their own just irks me somehow.

  • Zari

    Will I get insta-rejected if I do the Babymetal album?