Just so you feel appropriately thankful, Steel Druhm survived storm, surf and medieval living conditions to bring you this damn review. With that out of the way, there’s a new Edguy album out, its called Age of the Joker. Now, I like old Edguy quite a lot. They had a really classic Euro-power metal sound and some serious songwriting chops. As they went along however, they went from their original power template into more of a hard rock/arena rock style and with an increasing sense of tongue-in-cheek silliness that I didn’t care for (Rocket Ride is a mighty lame album with a few good songs mixed in). Of course, main-man Tobias Sammet is also the mastermind behind the Avantasia albums and I’m a fanboy, especially of 2010′s The Wicked Symphony and Angel of Babylon releases. The man can sing and the man can write, there’s no denying it. Therefore it’s quite a letdown to hear how mellow, safe and uneventful a lot of Age of the Joker is. Sure, there are the usual big Edguy anthems here and there, but by and large, this is a pretty tepid, pedestrian release by a band capable of much much more. Way closer to pompous cock rock than classy Euro-power, it goes down a road I’m not that into but it still has its moments of charm and fun.

Lengthy opener “Robin Hood” is a study in why the current Edguy is a mixed bag. At times classic mid-paced power metal, it features cringe-worthy lyrics and a glib sense of humor that doesn’t necessarily help the music. It also has its great moments like the memorable, anthemic chorus and the segment around the half way point that sounds like something off the almighty Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. With all that in one single-serving song, its tough to know what to make of it. After that its a pretty diverse selection of moods and styles, some work, some don’t. The tracks with a more classic Edguy sound like “Nobody’s Hero” and  ”Breathe” are good, entertaining songs with big, hooky choruses. Others that deviate in interesting ways like the album standout ”Rock of Cashel” (very cool Irish jig music interspersed) are a lot of fun. Semi-power ballad “Fire at the Downline” is also interesting and sounds like classic Krokus, yes, Krokus! However, the honky tonk/country western tinged “Pandora’s Box” takes awhile to get itself going and the cheeseball 80′s MTV rock of “Two Out of Seven” (think “99 Luft Ballons”) isn’t too good (and is marred by out of place profanity). On top of that, there are TOO many power ballads (“Behind The Gates to Midnight World”, “Every Night Without You” “Fire on the Downline”) which drags the energy quotient way down. For all its accessibility, its a much less interesting and far less rocking affair than 2008′s Tinnitus Sanctus.

Nothing is wrong with Sammet’s voice. He sounds solid as always and carries the songs and shines during his big theatrical choruses. He’s the lifeblood of Edguy and he performs well vocally. It’s his songwriting   muscle that seems partially deflated this time around. There are a few solid Edguy numbers for sure but more than half of the material here feels like stuff left over from the Avantasia project or previous Edguy albums. Songs like “Behind The Gates” and “Two Out of Seven” are good enough for B-side releases but not for a the big show. The musicianship is tight as always, the guitar riffs and solos have their moments but the guitar sound is too often muted, relegated to the background and dominated by the keyboards and vocals. Many of the songs lack any real heft or punch because of that.

While I don’t really like the silly, cock rocking direction Edguy continue to move in, Age of the Joker does grow on you if you give it time. It isn’t very heavy or aggressive and it doesn’t come anywhere near the level of classics like Hellfire Club (or even Tinnitus Sanctus for that matter) but you can do far worse in the power metal world. Tobias is a unique personality and does what he wants, I’m not going to fault him for that. However, I won’t be listening to this album much either. So, when does the next Avantasia album come out?

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2. Avantasia – The Wicked Symphony Review
3. Avantasia – Angel of Babylon Review

I didn’t want to review this, didn’t even want to listen to it. Angry Metal Guy said I had to do it. I bitched, moaned, put it off, made excuses and so on. I didn’t like the cover or the song titles. It screamed cheesy cock rock  and I had a general feeling of dread. Yesterday I resigned myself to biting the bullet and just getting through it. Although I was pretty much right on the nail about the cock rock, much to my shock, this didn’t suck. In fact, it rocked! It seems even the mighty Steel Druhm can be wrong (like twice on eon). DC4 is a semi-supergroup composed of former members of Armored Saint (Jeff Duncan), Dio (Rowan Robertson) and Odin (Shawn Duncan). They play a metallized hard rock style that can be compared to classic era Van Halen if Dimebag Darrel was the guitarist and songwriter. Yes, I mean that. Electric Ministry is their third full length and it features a collection of straight forward, guitar-driven hard rock anthems with just enough grit and punch to satisfy the average metal monger. They effectively craft songs with big, pumping, meaty  riffs and hooks galore. Its essentially panties-on-the-head party metal with a sleazy, “good times” vibe that veers into dark, disturbing areas at times. I’ll be honest here, I actively resisted liking this and it didn’t work. I resent DC4 making me support this release! What is the world coming to?

After a pointless intro, things get rocking in a hurry with the title track. The guitars do the talking in a big way with thick, crunchy, aggressive riffing and the mid-range, malleable vocals of Jeff Duncan. Its an in-your-face sound and style taking hard rock and jacking up the heavy quotient. Its a very simple, accessible song with a catchy chorus and great solos. They keep the momentum going  full speed ahead with tracks like “XXX” (which has sleazy/stupid lyrics and sounds like an amped up version of the cheesy 80′s hit “Wild Wild West” by The Escape Club) and “25 to Life.” The first huge ear worm arrives with “Rock God” which truly sounds like David Lee Roth singing for old Pantera. Its a great song with a real “fuck you” attitude and I love it, though I hate myself for it in the mornings. It has some great guitar hero soloing too. Things take a strange but impressive turn with “Broken Soul.” As the album’s big cornerstone track, its far darker and more serious. Its also more emotional and quite frankly, grim and slightly unpleasant in its depiction of a broken woman seeking love through sex. Duncan’s vocals really shine here, especially during the big emotional chorus. Check out the cool Black Sabbath style riffs that flit in and out throughout the song. Very good stuff!

Elsewhere they deliver the somewhat silly but cool anthem “The Ballad of Rock and Roll” which could have been on Ozzy‘s No More Tears album and the absolute rocktastic “Glitter Girl.” This one revists the theme of a troubled  women seeking the wrong types of attention and again, its lurid, puerill and unpleasant but it rocks really hard. Duncan again channels David Lee Roth but the music is much angrier, like the dark side of Van Halen. Electric Ministry winds down with another odd turn in “Dirty Hands” which is a countrified ballad complete with steel guitar and piano and it works despite lyrics so maudlin and trite, they would give the Cookie Monster a tummy ache.

The guitars are the focus on this album and Rowan Robertson and Jeff Duncan bring a lot of firepower to the show. There’s heaps of aggressive, urgent and catchy riffing in each song and some bigtime solo work (especially during ”Broken Soul”). Duncan’s vocals are quite varied and morph to fit different moods. He can do a good tough guy shout/sing (“25 to Life”) and also pull off his David Lee Roth schtick effortlessly. They’re a tight, professional unit and their time in the industry shows, especially with the songwriting. Of the eleven songs, nine are rock solid, the other two are fairly decent. Not too shabby eh?

I didn’t want to review this, then I didn’t want to like this, but here we all are. DC4 is a hard rocking band and I dig their style. I’ll be hunting down their earlier stuff for sure. Check this out, because Steel Druhm is man enough to admit when he was wrong.

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A couple years ago I reviewed Scar Symmetry‘s Dark Matter Dimensions and to my surprise I thoroughly enjoyed it. While I gave it a very good score at the time (4.5/5.0), I made the comment that the band was a little formulaic. It seemed to me that the Scar Symmetry could have worked harder to break out of the mold that they seemed to be trying (very hard) to fit into. That mold, otherwise known as “tech-meets-Soilwork” is basically techy death metal with big, catchy choruses. And, while I admit that Scar Symmetry is an much better band than Soilwork as far as writing catchy melodies, there are times when the music feels like it’s just built around this structure. I suggested that the band try to break out of that mold and build on the techy side.

Turns out the guys from Scar Symmetry don’t read my blog. This is hard to believe, as I certainly am the most important person in my universe. But in any case, if they do read my blog they’re very bad at taking my excellent advice, because The Unseen Empire actually has taken steps away from the techy and is moving far more towards the Melodifestivalen side of the spectrum. This isn’t unrestrained pop-bullshit like Amaranthe, but this is certainly not as technical, heavy and smart as Dark Matter Dimensions and I found that to be a pretty major letdown. So let’s just get that out of the way.

That said, the result is basically a lot more like Scar Symmetry meets To/Die/For and I enjoy this quite a bit. The melodies are excellent and catchy, and when the band does break into the technical side of things the death metal vocals are amazing and the riffs are stellar. As a whole, the guitar work from axemen Jonas Kjellgren and Per Nilsson is still remarkable on this album. Those cats can, as they say, play. And when the band does choose to show off their technical muscles like on “Illuminoid Dream Sequence,” “Astronomicon,” and “The Draconian Arrival” it is put to excellent effect. And almost every song features a guitar solo that would make most bitter among us sigh with contentment.

On the other hand, this record features a hell of a lot more of a blend Goth rock à la To/Die/For and 80s anthem rock. The opener “The Anomaly” as well as the closer “Alpha and Omega” and “Domination Agenda” in between all feature what feels like a distinctly “Eye of the Tiger” kind of feel to it, while mixing it with the mid-ranged vocals of singer Lars Palmqvist. And there’s a hell of a lot more “chug” on this record than I remember from previous albums, as well… though, that might just be something I’m noticing now as the record feels a lot more chuggy and lacks the kind of off-time craziness that were to be found on “The Consciousness Eaters” and the chuggy but techy “Mechanical Soul Cybernetics” and “Nonhuman Era.”

Now, I don’t know what happened in the Scar Symmetry camp during the two years they were away, but I can tell you that while I enjoy this record it leaves me feeling a bit off or empty when it’s done. I guess, it’s like the difference between having sex with a hot woman you meet at a bar and having sex with a hot prostitute. They both leave you satisfied, but only one of them leaves you feeling a bit dirty and used afterward. Unfortunately, at this stage anyway, The Unseen Empire sorta falls into that latter category. It’s possible that like its predecessor it will grow on me—it certainly is a good record and I like it a lot better now than I did at first blush. But it’s hard to imagine it landing on my top 10 like its predecessor did.

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1. Scar Symmetry – Dark Matter Dimensions Review
2. Above Symmetry – Ripples Review
3. Soilwork – The Panic Broadcast Review

So I admit, I’ve never heard SoCal pop rockers In This Moment before. This review will be completely devoid of comparisons to their last two records. Nor will it be filled with witty insights into how the band has changed over their time and whether or not this is a darker record (of course, every new record is the darkest, heaviest, etc., that any band has ever done, so trust the bio about as far as you can throw Arnold Schwarzneger). No, this is going to pretty much be a tirade about how much I really don’t like this album at all or the style of music or basically anything about this at all except for Maria’s clean singing voice, which is very good. You are warned. Don’t throw a fit in the comments because I hate your favorite band: I’ve already warned you. If you read past the jump then it’s your own fucking fault.

So wow, In This Moment sucks. This may be the shortest review I ever write because it’s pretty easy to sum up. In This Moment is pop rock, plain and simple. There is nothing even remotely heavy or raw about what they’re doing except for Maria’s screams which are a lot more annoying than heavy most of the time. The riffs are simple nu metal influenced (or I guess hardcore now) riffs that are so simple that they could be played by any breed of ape (not just homo sapiens sapiens) and have been reproduced hundreds of thousands of times before in the basements across America. While there may be a few happy moments of guitar solos or a melody or two that stand out from the herd, for the most part this is totally crap.

The production is fantastic. But I guess, since it’s pop rock there’s not much to comment on there. Though, really, I don’t like the guitar tone at all. It sounds really boxy and weird. But, of course, the vocals are just hyper, hyper, hyper overproduced. I hope this isn’t ’cause Maria can’t sing (’cause then apparently the only thing she offers the band is the ability to be commodified as a porn doll—honestly, when will women in metal be allowed to just be band members and not masturbation objects!?), and has more to do with the fact that the producer (who produced Ozzy and Five Finger Death Punch) is being paid to overproduce this band: so overproduce them he will!

The song writing is banal, contrived and crappy. I was unimpressed with the sappy ballads (“World in Flames”, for example, made me heave up my lunch). I was especially unimpressed with the sappy hardcore screaming love duet (this is not a joke) which popped up on “The Promise”, quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life (aside from Sonic Syndicate and Ravage of course—but close!) and because I feel like I have to be fair, I even forced myself through it more than once.  Oh, there’s a talky cowboy song, too, which is also just lame and irritating. Holy crap. Talking over music stopped being OK in 1950 when everyone thought it was too cheesy THEN. I’m pretty sure that talking over music is punishable by marriage in some countries! The guitar work is occasionally interesting, but most of the riffs are “chug chug chug chugchugchug” that you expect from this kind of metalcore influenced poo. And then the when they do break out guitar solos, they sound like they belong on a butt rock album (see: sappy ballad “World in Flames”).

The only reason you should buy In This Moment‘s new record is because you want an example of everything that is wrong with the commercial metal in 2010. Honestly, I can’t even understand who listens to this shit. It just drives me completely insane and unlike other annoying records where I can sort of understand the appeal (Mnemic for example), this one I just don’t get. Have at it if it’s your thing, but I would never recommend this to fans of music that actually has any kind of heart, soul or I dunno, shame.

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It is more and more apparent to me every day that heavy metal is going into a hibernation stage. As an Angry Metal Guy I try to keep my ear to the ground for movement in a forward direction, particularly from younger people. Instead, there’s nothing but a rash of neo-heavy metal and thrash bands that flood the market as apparently 18 year olds all feel like the really missed out on thrash and are out of ideas. But what’s worse than kids writing thrash metal records that could’ve been written in 1982? Kids writing butt rock albums that should’ve been written in the dying throws of 1980s cock rock in about 1991. That’s right, H.E.A.T., from the same town as venerable rockers Europe have decided to run with 1980s action movie theme as the basis for their sound.

So, you know how this sounds. In case you don’t, it’s like Winger or Warrant or any other one of those generic, unremarkable 1980s butt rock bands that everyone was so happy to do away with in the early 1990s. But there’s a twist. Oh yes, a twist. (Actually there’s more than one.) Firstly, this is an intentionally radio friendly pop band that is having their sound driven by the pop music industry in Sweden towards short, catchy and, finally, TV friendly songs that are cynically aimed directly at the panties of middle aged women who were super sexy in 1986 and miss all the hairspray, stiletto heels and tight skirts (or just never stopped..). Secondly, these guys aren’t even remotely on the cutting edge of anything. They are pure nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia and I’m not actually sure how they sleep at night, because they must have no dignity.

But let me go on a little tangent before continuing this review. Let us remember that when Europe released their excellent first two albums (Europe, and The Wings of Tomorrow a record that I still regularly listen to) they were doing something new. Sure, they were trying pretty hard to be Thin Lizzy and they were cheesy as hell. But they were on the cutting edge of rock  (not as cutting as Bathory but, really, aside from that). They were part of a generation of young dudes who were breaking against the old traditions of masculinity by taking long hair, mullets and tights to extremes. They were writing Malmsteenesque guitar solos that still rule and they didn’t have producers standing at their backs (neither were they thanking slave drivers in their booklet). They were an independent group that got signed and wrote some great fucking music before finally selling their souls to the devil.

H.E.A.T. is the exact opposite of Europe. They are the exact opposite of forward thinking. They are the exact opposite of rock music rebellion of danger, of toughness and of anything except for pre-packaged commercial crap. They are nothing more than a repackaging of another schlager hit (complete with obligatory key changes in the final chorus). While they, surprisingly, do write their own music and are actually apparently fairly gifted musicians (there’s the occasional guitar solo that is really well done—like the one from the utterly cheesy “Danger Road”), the utter cynicism of this music turns my stomach.

Then again, I’m not the target audience by any stretch of the imagination. I feel like I’ve actually maybe been a little hard on the neo-thrash bands. Because thrash, while it maybe got a tad commercial when Metallica and Megadeth were on top of the world in the early 90s, isn’t the kind of thing that they’re expecting to have huge commercial success with. Drinking beer, rocking a Flying V and wearing tight jeans is still fundamentally metal and cool. H.E.A.T. is fundamentally neither of those things and if you’re a real metal fan you will not like this unless, maybe, you have an ironic mullet. Then it’s up in the air.

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Hate is a very strong word and perhaps it gets thrown around too casually these days. After all, hate is a very ugly, negative emotion and even the angriest of metal guys should strive to avoid it. With that said, I hate Royal Jester’s debut album Night is Young. Maybe that sounds harsh but it’s the sad truth. It isn’t the musical style that brings me to hate it. Royal Jester plays Euro power metal and I really like Euro power metal when it’s done properly. I even like some of what might be called “happy power metal.” In fact, it seems I have become the resident power metal geek around these parts and that’s why this review ended up in my lap. However, after sustained, repeated listens to this album with an open mind, and giving this young band from Sweden every possible benefit of the doubt, there isn’t much good to say about Night is Young.

Royal Jester’s take on Euro power metal is painfully generic and unoriginal and it’s done in such a way that absolutely nothing about them stands out and grabs the listener. It seems as if these guys formed a band and ran down the Official Power Metal Checklist™ without any further thought. Fast guitars without edge or bite? Check. Rapid fire double bass runs? Check. Bouncy, happy sounding, utterly non-threatening music? Check, double check. Toss in an extremely nondescript singer and you have Royal Jester. In fact, everything about this band is derivative. From the Edguy themed album cover to the Edguy themed band name (I will refrain from bashing their completely awful name to avoid excessive crankiness).

Of the ten songs on Night is Young, none really stand out from one another. Each attempts to emulate the style of Freedom Call, Insania or Axenstar and all generally fail because this is just so damn plain and average. Of the lot, I suppose “Wings of Tomorrow” and “Born Again” qualify as best in show, but when things are this dismal, what difference does it make? Worst in show is clearly “If You Were Mine,” which is one of the most insipid, cringe worthy, and giggle inducing “metal” songs to come along in quite some time. This is the song you would NOT want to be playing when your other heavy metal buddies came over. Honestly, even your little sister would smack you around if she heard you listening to this pablum.

Basically, there isn’t a whole lot more to say about these guys and why prolong the pain? There is an old expression that applies here. “Success is easy, just be the first, best or different.” Royal Jester fails at all three. They are a clone made from another clone. Nothing here is new, interesting, exciting or even well done. It isn’t heavy and it sure isn’t powerful and only serves to exemplify why power metal has gotten a bad name among the metal intelligentsia. There are only two reasons I can see anyone buying this album: Either because they must have every new power metal album that comes out or they mistakenly thought it was Royal Hunt [or they're from the same town. Support local music! - AMG]. If you want to hear a quality power metal album, hunt down the new release from Sinbreed and see how this is supposed to be done. Stay far, far away from this flowery, candy- coated fiasco.

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It seems forever since Italian power metallers, and just generally over-the-top crafters of Symphonic Hollywood Metal (or as I called it in one of my very earliest reviews “Sword Swinging Elf Metal”) produced an album. And really, in terms of the modern music industry it has been a very long time. Rhapsody of Fire‘s last album, Triumph or Agony, was released in 2006 to almost no fanfare. I didn’t see a single advertisement for the album, I never knew that it was being released and I had no idea that they had even been working on a new album at all. One day I just walked into my local record store and saw it on the shelf there. The total lack of build-up foreshadowed how I felt about the album, and frankly the record that had gone before it: it lacked what I was looking for in a Rhapsody of Fire album. The guitar orientation was gone, the songs were not as huge, the guitar not as bombastic and the feel was generally one that I just could never really get into. Both Symphony of Enchanted Lands pt. II and Triumph or Agony, while technically filling the standards set by the band, certainly didn’t live up to what I see as the band’s crowning jewel Power of the Dragonflame.

So, that should give the reader the standard by which I judge The Frozen Tears of Angels. How does it compare to Power of the Dragonflame? Well, I can proudly say that this is the record that I expected Symphony of Enchanted Lands pt. II to be. The music is huge, fustian and exaggerated, just like you expect, but it is also the most guitar oriented record that the band has ever produced. It is this element in front of all things, that will make the average Rhapsody of Fire fan jump for joy. Gone are the slower passages, gone are the questions of where the guitar solo is because Luca Turilli, as he stated in his interview with me, “rediscovered his first love,” and this record is littered with some amazing guitar solos. My personal favorite comes from the fairly simple, but fragile and beautiful passages in “Danza Di Fuoco E Ghiaccio” a song similar to “The Village of the Dwarves”. But every song has amazing solos, the amazing harmonies and intertwining neo-baroque melodies on “Crystal Moonlight”, the great Iron Maiden double lead from “On the Way to Ainor” and so on and so forth. This record is a triumph for every neo-classical guitar loving nerd out there. Not just because of the standard solos, but because Turilli’s creativity lies in how well he blends his virtuosity in with his overall compositions.

And the overall composition of this record is also a major triumph. The use of Christopher Lee and more photorealistic artwork and so forth was all in an attempt to be taken more seriously, and while I’m not sure that this is actually happening, the band has continued to impress with their understanding of the album as a series of symphonic movements. One of the things that makes The Frozen Tears of Angels great is that while the songs stand alone, the album is not an album that you want to break out for one track. Instead, the dynamics make you want to listen to the whole album straight through and just sit in awe of the breadth and depth of the music. And while the band has often lost me in the past on their more epic tracks, even the 11 minute title track was a gripping piece. The album follows an audio story arc, just like the previous albums, but being able to combine these feelings together and turn them into both convincing neo-classical music and awesome heavy metal has never been done better by the band (or any other band, for that matter).

This is getting long, but one more final point: I have focused heavily on the guitar-oriented nature of this album, but there are a few things that stand out. The band elected (probably for  budget reasons) to not go with a full orchestra this time. While Luca Turilli denies it, part of me wonders if that didn’t actually help the sound of this record because it was something that was completely manipulatable by the musicians in the studio. I would bet that there are things that you can write for a symphony that cannot be played convincingly by a symphony and sometimes I wonder if Rhapsody of Fire‘s style doesn’t overpower the musicians they’ve hired to play it. All of the orchestrations are perfect, and the band itself is tight as hell. This is one of the tightest rhythm sections out there, not to mention the vocals of Fabio Lione are accented perfection.

The Frozen Tears of Angels is the perfect Rhapsody of Fire comeback record. After four years of chaos, and the band’s still ongoing legal fight with Joey DeMaio (who signed the band and tried to steal their sound), Rhapsody of Fire is back with a power metal vengeance. They could not have chosen a better time or written better music for this imminent return. I hope this record helps push them back into the spotlight and that the next (at least) year of touring is good for the band, for all the individuals involved and is a kick in the teeth to everyone trying to hold down the most powerful force in power metal.

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3. Rhapsody Announce Official Release Date of New Album!

There are a couple of reasons this bugs me.  First, I really just hate reality shows.  I think they are totally lowest common denominator bullshit and they should be pissed on by anyone with a brain.  But secondly, is the crave for fame and the spotlight so big for these D-List celebraties that they have to air their personal dirty laundry on TV in order to somehow feel important and worthwhile?  I know it’s a paying gig, but I suspect that kicking a drug addiction, like any kind of serious problem, is probably quite personal and not the kind of thing that’s going to go well in a public forum.  If someone is pushing a fucking camera in your face what are the chances that you’re actually going to say what you’re really thinking?

It’s weak, and it’s stupid.  But what else?  Didn’t we already have to put up with embarrassing pictures of metal musicians after Metallica‘s trainwreck Some Kind of Ridiculous Lamitude?  And now look at those guys!  Lars Ulrich wears silk scarves on TV shows and mislabels black metal as death metal.  (Of course, this entire clip is kinda painful in general.)

There are plenty of metal musicians who aren’t stupid addicts, there are plenty who deal with their alcoholism like professionals and there are plenty of metal musicians who don’t wear silk scarves!  Mike Starr, Steven Adler, the jackasses from Poison and Mötley Crüe are not representative of the scene in any way.  I guess on this same note, I should tell Dolving from The Haunted to shut the fuck up.  But I think he’s funny.  Plus, his silly Swedish ass isn’t on TV.

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