Cock Rock

Edguy – Age of the Joker Review

Edguy – Age of the Joker Review

Just so you feel appropriately thankful, Steel Druhm survived storm, surf and medieval living conditions to bring you this damn review. With that out of the way, there’s a new Edguy album out, its called Age of the Joker. Now, I like old Edguy quite a lot. They had a really classic Euro-power metal sound and some serious songwriting chops. As they went along however, they went from their original power template into more of a hard rock/arena rock style and with an increasing sense of tongue-in-cheek silliness that I didn’t care for (Rocket Ride is a mighty lame album with a few good songs mixed in). Of course, main-man Tobias Sammet is also the mastermind behind the Avantasia albums and I’m a fanboy, especially of 2010’s The Wicked Symphony and Angel of Babylon releases. The man can sing and the man can write, there’s no denying it. Therefore it’s quite a letdown to hear how mellow, safe and uneventful a lot of Age of the Joker is. Sure, there are the usual big Edguy anthems here and there, but by and large, this is a pretty tepid, pedestrian release by a band capable of much much more. Way closer to pompous cock rock than classy Euro-power, it goes down a road I’m not that into but it still has its moments of charm and fun.

DC4 – Electric Ministry Review

DC4 – Electric Ministry Review

I didn’t want to review this, didn’t even want to listen to it. Angry Metal Guy said I had to do it. I bitched, moaned, put it off, made excuses and so on. I didn’t like the cover or the song titles. It screamed cheesy cock rock and I had a general feeling of dread. Yesterday I resigned myself to biting the bullet and just getting through it. Although I was pretty much right on the nail about the cock rock, much to my shock, this didn’t suck. In fact, it rocked! It seems even the mighty Steel Druhm can be wrong (like twice on eon). DC4 is a semi-supergroup composed of former members of Armored Saint (Jeff Duncan), Dio (Rowan Robertson) and Odin (Shawn Duncan). They play a metallized hard rock style that can be compared to classic era Van Halen if Dimebag Darrel was the guitarist and songwriter. Yes, I mean that. Electric Ministry is their third full length and it features a collection of straight forward, guitar-driven hard rock anthems with just enough grit and punch to satisfy the average metal monger. They effectively craft songs with big, pumping, meaty riffs and hooks galore. Its essentially panties-on-the-head party metal with a sleazy, “good times” vibe that veers into dark, disturbing areas at times. I’ll be honest here, I actively resisted liking this and it didn’t work. I resent DC4 making me support this release! What is the world coming to.

Scar Symmetry – The Unseen Empire Review

Scar Symmetry – The Unseen Empire Review

A couple years ago I reviewed Scar Symmetry’s Dark Matter Dimensions and to my surprise I thoroughly enjoyed it. While I gave it a very good score at the time (4.5/5.0), I made the comment that the band was a little formulaic. It seemed to me that the Scar Symmetry could have worked harder to break out of the mold that they seemed to be trying (very hard) to fit into. That mold, otherwise known as “tech-meets-Soilwork” is basically techy death metal with big, catchy choruses. And, while I admit that Scar Symmetry is an much better band than Soilwork as far as writing catchy melodies, there are times when the music feels like it’s just built around this structure. I suggested that the band try to break out of that mold and build on the techy side.

In This Moment – A Star-Crossed Wasteland Review

In This Moment – A Star-Crossed Wasteland Review

So I admit, I’ve never heard SoCal pop rockers In This Moment before. This review will be completely devoid of comparisons to their last two records. Nor will it be filled with witty insights into how the band has changed over their time and whether or not this is a darker record (of course, every new record is the darkest, heaviest, etc., that any band has ever done, so trust the bio about as far as you can throw Arnold Schwarzneger). No, this is going to pretty much be a tirade about how much I really don’t like this album at all or the style of music or basically anything about this at all except for Maria’s clean singing voice, which is very good. You are warned. Don’t throw a fit in the comments because I hate your favorite band: I’ve already warned you. If you read past the jump then it’s your own fucking fault.

H.E.A.T. – Freedom Rock Review

H.E.A.T. – Freedom Rock Review

It is more and more apparent to me every day that heavy metal is going into a hibernation stage. As an Angry Metal Guy I try to keep my ear to the ground for movement in a forward direction, particularly from younger people. Instead, there’s nothing but a rash of neo-heavy metal and thrash bands that flood the market as apparently 18 year olds all feel like the really missed out on thrash and are out of ideas. But what’s worse than kids writing thrash metal records that could’ve been written in 1982? Kids writing butt rock albums that should’ve been written in the dying throws of 1980s cock rock in about 1991. That’s right, H.E.A.T., from the same town as venerable rockers Europe have decided to run with 1980s action movie theme as the basis for their sound.

Royal Jester – Night is Young Review

Royal Jester – Night is Young Review

Hate is a very strong word and perhaps it gets thrown around too casually these days. After all, hate is a very ugly, negative emotion and even the angriest of metal guys should strive to avoid it. With that said, I hate Royal Jester’s debut album Night is Young. Maybe that sounds harsh but it’s the sad truth. It isn’t the musical style that brings me to hate it. Royal Jester plays Euro power metal and I really like Euro power metal when it’s done properly. I even like some of what might be called “happy power metal.” In fact, it seems I have become the resident power metal geek around these parts and that’s why this review ended up in my lap. However, after sustained, repeated listens to this album with an open mind, and giving this young band from Sweden every possible benefit of the doubt, there isn’t much good to say about Night is Young.

Rhapsody of Fire – The Frozen Tears of Angels Review

Rhapsody of Fire – The Frozen Tears of Angels Review

It seems forever since Italian power metallers, and just generally over-the-top crafters of Symphonic Hollywood Metal (or as I called it in one of my very earliest reviews “Sword Swinging Elf Metal”) produced an album. And really, in terms of the modern music industry it has been a very long time. Rhapsody of Fire’s last album, Triumph or Agony, was released in 2006 to almost no fanfare. I didn’t see a single advertisement for the album, I never knew that it was being released and I had no idea that they had even been working on a new album at all. One day I just walked into my local record store and saw it on the shelf there. The total lack of build-up foreshadowed how I felt about the album, and frankly the record that had gone before it: it lacked what I was looking for in a Rhapsody of Fire album. The guitar orientation was gone, the songs were not as huge, the guitar not as bombastic and the feel was generally one that I just could never really get into. Both Symphony of Enchanted Lands pt. II and Triumph or Agony, while technically filling the standards set by the band, certainly didn’t live up to what I see as the band’s crowning jewel Power of the Dragonflame.

Rock Musicians and Reality TV Shows

Rock Musicians and Reality TV Shows

I don’t know if anyone else has been noticing this, but what the hell is with the whole rock/”metal” musicians (in reality, it’s pretty much just the cock rock and alternative scene guys) getting in on reality TV thing? According to what I just read on Blabbermouth, fucking Mike Starr from Alice in Chains (he used to play bass) is getting in on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. I don’t want to be a downer for these guys: but seriously, can’t you do yourself the favor of not embarrassing yourself in public and maybe dealing with your addiction problems in private, where they should be handled!?