1.5

Sacred Heart – The Vision Review

Sacred Heart – The Vision Review

As the metal community continues the slow journey up it’s own ass, one noticeable side effect has been the shunning of any and all bands that have achieved even a minimal amount of success and/or popularity. The inverse is also true—headbangers have been known to glorify bands that are ridiculously obscure, in the hopes of sounding more knowledgeable and “underground” than the next guy. The obvious endgame of this scenario would be a band that literally no one has heard of. Well, Pure Underground Records has got you covered, with the release of The Vision a 1989 demo/EP by Sacred Heart.

Lacuna Coil – Dark Adrenaline Review

Lacuna Coil – Dark Adrenaline Review

Lacuna Coil is a band that I used to like pretty well. I’ve seen them live a few times and I thought they put on pretty good shows and I have a lot of respect for them as a hardworking touring band. Musically, though, I think they’ve been pretty hit and miss. While I enjoy In A Reverie, Unleashed Memories and liked a few songs off of Comalies, their modern sound has developed into something that is really quite derivative of the American “nu-metal trend” and specifically their last record Shallow Life was produced in a way that sounded exactly like Linkin Park and was entirely unlistenable to these ears. So I have to say that it was with consternation that I elected to start listening to this album in the first place.

Opera IX – Strix Maledictae in Aeternum Review

Opera IX – Strix Maledictae in Aeternum Review

To say that Italian symphonic black metallers Opera IX have been keeping a low profile would be an understatement. The last time I even heard their name mentioned was back in the days of Napster and the Y2K virus. At the time, their mix of black metal with gothic imagery and female vocals was pretty rare in the scene [Yeah, if you had never heard of Cradle of Filth, I guess. – AMG], and it seemed like the band was poised to do great things. Now, they have returned in 2012 with Strix Maledictae in Aeternum, their first album in 7 long years.

Morbid Angel – Illud Divinum Insanus Review

Morbid Angel – Illud Divinum Insanus Review

Morbid Angel is elite death metal and has been the standard for as long as I can remember. They have defined death metal for listeners of the genre for decades, influenced all of the great bands to come out of the genre after them, and have been away for 8 long years. 2003’s Heretic was not the best record they’d ever produced, this is most certainly true. But there was no reason not to believe after hearing “Nevermore,” the single that was released ahead of time, that the return of David Vincent would usher in the kind of catastrophic reaction that has ensued. I make it my business to never read reviews of any record before I write my own review, hell, I haven’t even read Steel Druhm’s (which is below this one) of this record. But it was hard to miss the fury, anger and disappointment that has been floating around the ether. I had to ask myself “could it really possibly be this bad?” You see, I’m a stalwart defender of some pretty hated records (most notably Iron Maiden’s The X Factor and Mayhem’s Grand Declaration of War), and I try to listen to every record with a clean slate. And I attempted to do so with this record, as well.

Insense – Burn in Beautiful Fire Review

Insense – Burn in Beautiful Fire Review

Reviewing albums like this is how I pay my debt for getting the Amon Amarth review. My inbox will become a wasteland of the very worst metalcore, deathcore, screamocore and whatever soulless rubbish Angry Metal Guy can hurl at me in an Oden-like rage (thank God I didn’t ask for the upcoming Amorphis review). As part of my community service, I’m here to enlighten you about Norway’s Insense and their fourth album Burn in Beautiful Fire. If you never heard of them, these guys play third-rate metalcore with all the emo/screamo pap that goes along with that craptastic style. Their bio says Anders Friden of In Flames thinks they’re the next big thing to hit the scene. Well, if this is what Anders thinks is good music, that explains why In Flames has sucked so thoroughly since Colony. All apologies and respect to Mr. Friden but even by metalcore standards this is super shitty and irritating. It’s boring, annoyingly unoriginal and painfully below average in every aspect. I even hate the freaking album cover.

The Haunted – Unseen Review

The Haunted – Unseen Review

I’m sure most know the history of The Haunted and how they formed from the ashes of the legendary At The Gates. Despite my love for At The Gates, I never fully understood the stellar press and support The Haunted received and always felt they were one of the most overrated bands on the planet. Eventually they started to drift toward a more metalcore style and I lost the limited interest I had in them. Now they’re back with album seven Unseen and they’ve left their thrash days in the dust, probably for good. Instead, they deliver a strange, directionless mess of experimentation, emo angst, nu-metal and alt-rock. It’s clear they’re writing only for themselves and could care less what their fans expect or hope for at this point. While that’s admirable from an artistic perspective, when the results are this tedious and uninspiring, it’s both tragic and cringe-inducing. No matter how brave and creative they want to be, at the end of the day they should still be striving to write good music and they seem to have forgotten that here.

Rabbits – Lower Forms Review

Rabbits – Lower Forms Review

OK. So. Let me preface this by saying that I’m not a huge fan of anything Rabbits is defined as. I don’t really like hardcore and haven’t liked it since I was in high school. And even then I only flirted with the genre and never really got into it. Second, I listen to a lot of music. I get new music every day and I hear new shit all the time. I try to be pretty open minded, but sometimes I just don’t like shit. And I really, really, really don’t like Rabbits – Lower Forms. I’m sure these guys are OK with that, though, because that’s the point of being counter cultural.

Lazarus A.D. – Black Rivers Flow Review

Lazarus A.D. – Black Rivers Flow Review

There are plenty of myths that sane folks know to be false like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and honest politicians. However, one should never count the sophomore slump among those fairy tales and urban legends, for it is very real and very painful to behold. Exhibit A for 2011 is Lazarus A.D. who had a decent if not remarkable debut with 2009’s The Onslaught. Many seemed to lump them in with the retro-thrash revival and while there was some Exodus aping to be sure, they always sounded more metalcore-ish to my ears. Although I hate metalcore like I hate taxes, there was enough aggression, energy and nods to the old school throughout The Onslaught to make it semi-palatable and I didn’t totally hate it. Well, there is simply no digesting their second platter Black Rivers Flow, as Lazarus A.D. have firmly embraced their inner mall kid and all things Shadow’s Fall and the result is a veritable black river of crappy, overused grooves, tough guy posturing and general mediocrity.