“Imagine my surprise when, upon taking this gig, I discovered that some of my fellow writers, including our illustrious boss, were never-sludgers. As I’ve endured their hurtful, anti-sludge rhetoric, I’ve noticed a frequent correlation between sludge hating and symphonic power cheese-loving. As no lover of metallic brie myself, I’m left to wonder if we’re hardwired at the genetic level into these camps just as research suggests we may be similarly inclined toward progressive or conservative politics, or to see a blue and black dress versus the mouth breathing, evolutionary dead-ends who see a gold and white dress. I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re team sludge and wary of anti-sludge sentiment within the body metallic, you’ve got a man on the inside. So let’s wade together into the muck of Charlene Beretah’s new album Ram. Never-sludgers need not apply.” Sticky business.
