Gloryhammer - Space 1992I have been accused of being boring and touchy because I dislike parody heavy metal bands. Whenever a band like Steel Panther or The Darkness shows up, I get defensive. “Metal is alive and well,” I argue, and honestly, there are bands that are putting out great power metal and hard rock that gets ignored by mainstream press outlets that rave over parody bands and they sell lots of records.1 I also tend to get annoyed by comedy lyrics; for the most part those songs are funny once or twice, but after a while they just stop being funny and they become uninteresting because, well, that’s the point. Put this together, and a parody band seems like it should have a lot of strikes against it here at Angry Metal Guy. Not only are Steel Druhm and I firmly anti-fun,2 but I’m defensive about metal because I don’t want real, talented metal bands getting short shrift next to bands who are just making fun of the sound.

But when that parody band is knocking out epic power metal tracks in the stylings of [Luca Turilli’s] Rhapsody [of Fire]? I’m all in. “Why?” one may ask, but I can only assume that’s only people who have never bothered to actually listen to Euro Power at all. Between “swords” (held aloft for one reason or another) with audible Ws, “iron” pronounced “eye-ron,” and all the missing prepositions (“I look you and I blink my eye…“), you can sometimes get lost in the fact that the music you’re listening to sports a variety of Dark Lords, unicorn tears and armies of elves which are always warring through various “AVALAAAAAAANCHES” and cosmic portals. You’d be forgiven if you thought that epic power metal was basically populated by a lot of pent up D-grade fantasy fan fiction authors and geeks who can’t get published. This leads to a certain cognitive dissonance for me, though, because these bands produce music that I absolutely adore and I frequently go on power metal binges, bathing in the hockey rock choruses while lathering myself in chocolate spread and ridiculous guitar work I will never reproduce. But when combined with cringe-worthy texts sung with utter conviction and operatic passion, there’s something inherently comical about this whole subgenre. As a native speaker of English, I cannot escape it.3

Gloryhammer 2015-2

Enter Gloryhammer, Scotland’s own purveyors of high-quality cheddar (35%, aged for 18 months!). While this is pure speculation, I assume that this band was started a bit like this: “Man, I love power metal and it would be absolutely amazing to play in a band that sounds like [Luca Turilli’s] Rhapsody [of Fire],” to which his mate responded, “yeah, but that shit is so cheesy man. Like how can we possibly write about goblin kings and ‘eee-ma-reld swohrds’ and take ourselves seriously?” This is the point where light bulbs appeared over their heads, and Gloryhammer was born. Why take yourself seriously when you’re writing this kind of music? No, instead, just gently rib the scene by writing exactly the same kind of lyrics they do—just, y’know, based in Scotland. Because let’s face it, epic power metal is easy to ape. It’s formulaic, but—as I’ve said previously—the formula allows for so much variation, that you can knock out albums that follow exactly the same format over and over and over and over and over again, and yet each one can be as entertaining as the last, because of the built-in degrees of freedom. Virtuosity, baroque and Viennese classical influences; these things allow purveyors of power metal to write amazingly varied music within a well-understood structure.

Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards follows that structure almost to the letter. When the narrator kicks in to start the record off “In the distant future of 1992, war has returned to the galaxy” and the orchestral introduction knocked out the album’s themes with surprising compositional skill I knew I was in for a wild ride. Like the very best the genre has to offer, that wild ride takes off with a healthy hat tip to The Omen and the only 5 Latin words that guys who write power metal know: “sanctus,” “dominus,” “infernus” and “ad astra.” As is the way,4 machine gun double bass kicks lay the ground for “Rise of the Chaos Wizards'” epic chorus, gallop driven verses and (oh yes) a built-for-Eurovision key change. Alestorm‘s very own Christopher Bowes fills the sound out with his epic keyboards, while vocalist Voice-Modulated Star Nucleus Thomas Winkler’s raspy cleans evoke the best vocalists of the German thrash/power tradition with his Swiss accent, perfect range and delivery.

After such an explosive opening, one might have suspected that the band had fired their highest powered lasers; but with Low-Orbit Ion Swoh-rds held High, Gloryhammer knocks out one ridiculous, awesome, and ridiculously awesome song after another. “Goblin King of the Darkstorm Galaxy” has an infectious chorus that I’ve been whistling for two weeks, while “Victorious Eagle Warfare” shows off Winkler’s range and power at its absolute best. These songs are laced with ridiculous licks, catchy counter-melodies and harmonies; the bridge between the chorus and the verses in “Victorious Eagle Warfare” is brilliant and the introduction to “Questlords of Inverness, Ride to the Galactic Fortress!” is gripping—balancing Sabaton-like oomph and an old school chug with cool and unexpected arpeggios. Taking it a step further, these tracks show off a band who understands the value of hooks and is obviously able to play with the Euro-power formula that we all love/hate. Every song on here is genuinely well-composed and well within the boundaries of what you hear on a new Stratovarius record—except with a self-distance of which no one could ever accuse Timo Kotipelto.

Gloryhammer 2015

It’s this self-distance that makes Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards such a marvel. As usual when listening to music of this genre, I’m laughing at the lyrics. It’s just that on Space 1992, I’m laughing at the lyrics because they’re cheeky, not because no one bothered to double check Tony Kakko’s lyrics before he went into the studio. While I don’t have official lyric sheets, the snippets of the lyrics on here rank among the best I’ve heard on a power metal album. Winkler’s accented wail knocks out gems like “Fly… [orchestral hit] on gigantic dragons made out of steeeeel!” (“Heroes (of Dundee)”), or when choirs sing “Unicorn, show me the way to the way. Lead me to the ultimate fortress. Unicorn, reveal the truth of the ancient crystal galaxy!” (“Questlords of Inverness, Ride to the Galactic Fortress!”). Possibly my favorite lyrics on the record come on the album’s obligatory end-of-the-record-epic-with-narrations “Apocalypse 1992,” where Winkler sings—with conviction—about “The rage! The cosmic rage of Astral Dwarves of Aberdeen!” Or, back at the always giving Galactic Well of Unicorn Jokes: “Like tears of a unicorn lost in the rain…” There are, literally, 9 songs of this stuff and hit (“Legend of the astral hammer!”) after hit (“In the dwarven caverns beneath the mighty citadel of Dundee…”), I giggle like an Angry Metal School Girl.

Maybe it’s best to not call this record so much “parody,” though, as a love letter to the Euro Power scene. The beauty of this stuff is that even if it were serious and the guys from Gloryhammer were writing about Angus McFife XIII with straight faces, they would still have produced one of the best power metal albums I’ve heard in 2015. What stands out about Space 1992 are the compositions, choruses, the orchestrations, and the way guitarist Dark Matter String Manipulation Interface Paul Templing, drummer Percussive Phi-Quason Battery Ben Turk and bassist Trans-dimensional Subsonic Cluster James Cartwright all do their parts. The music on here is well-played, and while Templing isn’t Luca Turilli on the fretboard, few are. The lyrics being genuinely funny is just the (very tasty) astral icing on the unicorn cake. Space 1992 is excellent because it delivers great tracks and gives you a reason to “ironically” listen to the music you already listen to un-ironically in your closet. Now you can break this out at parties and sing along and everyone will think that you learned all the songs as a party trick, not because you’ve been dreaming about a pilgrimage to Inverness to find the Questlords of legend.


Rating: 4.5/5.0
DR: 5 | Media Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Napalm Records
Websites: gloryhammer.com | facebook.com/gloryhammer
Out Worldwide: September 25th, 2015

Show 4 footnotes

  1. Honestly, I think there’s some of this in the scene’s hatred for so-called “hipster” bands, too. Why should metal dudes give these bands with no “cred” any love when they’re aping the sound of longtime and hard-working bands who will never get any attention.
  2. One more reason Happy Metal Guy had to (redacted).
  3. I suspect there’s something very restful about not having English as your native language when listening to power metal—like when I listen to J-Pop or watch Alizée wiggle her hips to utterly harmless, shitty pop music—you basically don’t even know how bad it really is.
  4. It is known.

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  • With the Green Lantern in the band, they must be decent.

    • Iain Gleasure

      He is the son of the power rangers and Voltron, not the green lantern, fool!

      • My bad. I’m still catching up on G-Force myself.

        • Iain Gleasure

          as great as this is what does it say about power metal that one of the years best power metal albums is going to be done by these guys?

          • Garak

            Nothing, because the year’s best power metal album is done by Visigoth.

  • Iain Gleasure

    This is a glorious review and album and I hope Chris Bowes shows up in the comments for the lulz.

    HOOTS!

  • Stefunal

    No one is as glorious as the Space Hammer of Glory.

  • Lasse Momme

    FUCKING SPACE WIZARDS WEARING SUNGLASSES WHILE PLAYING THE FUCKING DRUMS!

  • Diabolus_in_Muzaka

    “Tagged With: 4.5, Alestorm”

    Count me in.

    • Pimpolho

      What if he had said something like ”this is excellent, unlike that shitty band Alestorm”?

      • Diabolus_in_Muzaka

        That would be entirely outlandish and unreasonable.

        • Pimpolho

          I agree.

    • Leave the hall.

      • PanzerFistDominatrix

        “… all men play on ten!!!”

  • El_Cuervo

    Glorious album, but I should add that Scots get angry if you call them English (third paragraph).

    • Iain Gleasure

      Chris Bowes is a Scottish lie. He is born in England. Alestorm are now two Irishmen, two Englishmen, and a Hungarian. Meanwhile Gloryhammer is 4 Swiss guys and an Englishman

      • Monsterth Goatom

        Four Swiss guys and an Englishman walk into a bar…

        • Hulksteraus

          Damn, you beat me to it!

      • This is what I thought! I was looking on Metal Archives and it doesn’t look Scottish, but rather like they’re English.

  • mtlman1990

    These guys were just announced for Prog Power 2016. Great album if you can handle the cheese.

  • tomasjacobi

    This album is absolutely brilliant.
    I urge anyone who hasn’t heard their first album to go forth on a mighty quest to seek that album out.
    FOR THE GLORY OF DUNDEE!!!

  • Worldeater

    Space opera in power metal? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest… Delightful review! Henceforth I shall fly on gigantic druhms made out of steel!

  • Pimpolho

    Yeah… (what’s happening?) About HMG, i might have found something here… Release him already!

  • savafreak

    Wow I am speechless, this crap 4.5 and Book of Souls 2.5! I suggest an official name change to Happy Metal Guy

    • Lasse Momme

      This is so much better than Book Of Souls that it isn’t even funny if you’re joking.

      • CarvedInStone

        I don’t think one can compare Gloryhammer and Iron Maiden as far as the music is concerned. They’re too different. But what I can say is that I have a lot of fun listening to this album while the new Iron Maiden album was a chore to get through.

        • savafreak

          I suggest you give Book of Souls a chance, it can grow on the listener and will age well. This on the other hand, will not, just news of the week. I believe Happy and Metal cannot combine, may be Helloween is the only exception

          • CarvedInStone

            Why should I waste my time on music that I don’t like if there is so much music out there I do enjoy and don’t need to listen to a hundred times to get into? Simply because they’re Iron Maiden and as a metalhead I’m supposed to cut them some slack? Thanks but no thanks.

            And I’m by no means a Maiden hater. It’s just that they haven’t released anything since “Brave New World” that really grabbed my attention. Every album since than had it’s moments. Even “Book Of Souls” had a couple songs I enjoyed. But as a whole I don’t think it is a good album.

          • Noobhammer

            How can you say that Metal and Happy cannot combine? In essence we listen to metal music BECAUSE it make us happy. Whether the music is about riding atop the majestic unicorn weilding The Sword of Ancient Lineage, or its about the frozen wastes of the bitter north. I have seen people smiling and going crazy as they listen to Carcass just tear shit up. We love Metal, it makes us smile, therefore it make us happy.

            Another point I’d like to say is that I hate this thought that Metal has to be a “certain” way. If it’s anyway put of some particular format it’s awful and not doing “metal” right. Metal is about empowerment. It’s about making you feel like your the goddamn Juggernaut. Whether that comes from blackened post-metal, epic symphonic pirate metal, or even deathbed drone. The idea of metal is to be different and to break bonds, and shatter expectations.

          • [not a Dr]

            What he (Noobhammer) said. Times infinerty.

          • Monsterth Goatom

            You the man! Well said. Keep on commentin’ on.

          • André Snyde Lopes

            The only mistake in this comment is the absence of the word “bitch” after the word “Juggernaut”.

          • savafreak

            Metal guides us to happiness but “Happy” over symphonic non organic too much orchestration music can hardly be called metal, the more keyboards and orchestration comes to the fore and guitar crunch to the background, the less metal it sounds. As far as I remember Metal used to be this angry ass-kicking music that we identified with and emptied our negative energy to. I never could do that with Bon Jovi, Poison, Cinderella etc. And by the way I used to like Rhapsody before they amped their use of keyboards and orchestration, when they used to be guitar oriented, now they are Nightwish wannabes!. And also I listen to everything from Black Sabbath to Carcass to Symphony X and even soft stuff like Nightingale, as long as they were well made and this element of heaviness &/or darkness there, otherwise too light and poppy for my taste.

          • Joshua Brumback

            Sounds like someone just doesn’t love cheesey power metal.

          • basenjibrian

            There are different kinds of happiness as well I myself ENJOY sending snippets from Deathspell Omega’s Drought lyrics to pious Catholic acquaintances. That makes me very happy. :)

      • savafreak

        Whatever man, each is entitled to his/her opinion, I listen to all kinds of genres and my liking or disliking are not based on the style, its on the quality of music, and to me Book of Souls penetrated me and I connected with it, this was too cheesy to me even to Rhapsody school of Cheese level! and I like Rhapsody before they the EPIC slpit

        • Lasse Momme

          I never claimed it had any thing to do with style and I especially think the quality of this record is far higher. sure, there’s more of book of souls it’s more than twice as long as this but i still think it’s far better. It’s far more sensibly constructed and edited, and I think the songwriting is absolutely superb. as for the cheesiness, I think the fact that it is so tongue in cheek helps it out a lot, And I would actually prefer to listen to a band that acknowledges how silly their genre is instead of needlessly taking themselves too seriously and completely crippling the product in the process.

    • HA!

    • CarvedInStone

      Another one from the “the reviewer doesn’t have the same opinion than me so he/she must be wrong” brigade”. How sad.

      • savafreak

        I didn’t suggest that the reviewer was wrong, just a dramatic shift in taste and liking, or to put it in other words his/her ear tuning has changed, it happens with aging or change in prospective and views

        • CarvedInStone

          How is it a dramatic shift if AMG gave good grades to Rhapsody, Angra, Blind Guardian, Elvenking and Sonata Arctica in the past? He always liked this kind of metal. He says it himself in the review!

          You honestly come of as a petulant fanbody who is mad because someone didn’t like the album your favorite band released.

          • savafreak

            First of all I was not mad, just disappointed, there is a big difference. Second Iron Maiden is not my favorite band, in fact this is the first time i buy an album of them since Brave New World because I didn’t like the ones came after it. Finally it seems that humanity is hopeless, humans keep attacking each other and never accept the other’s opinion, people have to take comments personally and be defensive about it and start ranting, too bad.

          • Solaire

            Well that took an unexpected turn! I disagree with the reviewer so HUMANITY IS HOPELESS.

          • Can’t we all just get along and go after the nu metal people?

          • Pimpolho

            What if i told you i saw Slipknot in Rock in Rio and they were actually pretty good?

          • basenjibrian

            Ban! Ban! Ban!

          • savafreak

            I was not referring to the reviewer when i said Humanity Hopeless, I was referring to the dude who described me as a petulant fanbody while i never attacked anyone’s personally! I meant people cant help it, like they are on the edge of their seats waiting to go down on someone and start the ranting, anyway, sorry if speaking my mind in the music offended anyone, peace and metal. m/

          • CarvedInStone

            Actually I meant to write fanboy. I don’t know how the extra d got in there.

    • Wilhelm

      Exactly!

    • Actually, this is an excellent example of what I’m talking about. This record is perfectly edited, it never overstays its welcome, each song is boiled down to its best bits, and the whole thing flows excellently.

      Maiden is basically its antithesis. And the one is awesome and fun to listen to and amazing, and the other is a disappointing slog. Yes: 4.5 for this and 2.5 for Book of Souls. Because being Iron Maiden doesn’t make them immune to having to write good music to get a good score.

  • The massive amount of neon coloring in the album cover already reminds me a little of White Wizzard….and that rating?

    • Stop right there.

      • Hey, what can I say?! Its REALLY difficult for me to take any album seriously when their color palette choices take hues from the ecto-plasm realm.

    • Martin Knap

      AMG should have gone all the way and give this album a 5.0 :-)

  • Eric

    I wasn’t a huge fan of their first one except for one or two tracks. This one is light years better. I think they should do a tour with Twilight Force as the ultimate cheese tour.

  • AndySynn

    “I have been accused of being boring and touchy because I dislike parody heavy metal bands. Whenever a band likeSteel Panther or The Darkness shows up, I get defensive. “Metal is alive and well,” I argue, and honestly, there are bands that are putting out great power metal and hard rock that gets ignored by mainstream press outlets that rave over parody bands and they sell lots of records. I also tend to get annoyed by comedy lyrics; for the most part those songs are funny once or twice, but after a while they just stop being funny and they become uninteresting because, well, that’s the point.”

    Weird… I don’t remember writing this…

    • Always with the accusations of subconscious plagiarism!

      • AndySynn

        Get out of my head!!!

  • eloli

    Personally, I find Steel Panther both brilliant and fun.
    There’s too much to love here: the musicianship’s top notch, and the songwriting’s first class, a lot of the band’s songs would’ve been undeniable hits back in the day with minor lyrical tweaks. Also, the genius with Steel Panther lies in that they found a way for a new hair band to have a career in today’s music climate.
    As much as I loved hair metal back in the day (and I still do), I’m the first one to admit that it worked only in its historical context, right now, it only works only as nostalgia or parody.
    Besides, Bukkakke Tears makes me bust a gut laughing every single time, just like Fat Girl.

    • I have a grudge against Steel Panther because they are partly responsible for a shamefully low turnout at an awesome Angel Witch gig I went to in Newcastle (upon Tyne, UK) a few years ago.

      Also, they are a second-rate Pink Stëël.

      • Steel Panther’s first disc was hilarious…. the rest? The joke’s wearing thin. Gloryhammer, however is getting it right. Because the power/symphonic metal genre has so many sub-genres that it’ll be a while before they ride this one into the ground. (Provided they don’t stick to one sub-style.)

  • Fazy

    Alright, this review is fucking brilliant and so far the album is making my evening too.

  • CarvedInStone

    This album rocks! And for a band that claims to be a parody of the over the top dramatic Power Metal that the likes of Rhapsody and Fairyland are playing they’re (unfortunately from a power metal fan’s perspective) much better than what most of these bands are doing these days.

  • You wot m8?

    Okay, I got really excited at first… I mean, I just love reading 4.5 reviews because generally it means that I’m about to be introduced to a new and interesting band. Not this time though. I mean, I understand how some subspecies of basement-dwellers might cling to this, but it’s just… Just… Just terrible… Sooo much cheese, and sooo little payoff. I can listen to the very cheesiest of Sabaton cheese with little or no side effects, but I couldn’t even make it through the embedded track here.

    • I also suffer the shame of Euro-power lactose intolerance and I feel your pain.

      • You wot m8?

        It’s not even the amount of cheese, per se. I think it’s this specific subspecies of cheese. I’m used to fare such as Ahab, Dodecahedron, or Swallow the Sun. I’m not adverse to a bit of silliness [I love me some Nekrogoblikon, for instance], but silliness for silliness’s sake seems like a misuse of metal as a genre. Metal, at least for me, is all about conjuring up a specific emotion, this doesn’t really do that… Oh well, I guess since I’m not a fanatical D&D neckbeard, I’m not the real target audience here.

        • D&D Neckbeard will now become the name for my troll account with which I’ll rampage across the interwebs.

          • You wot m8?

            Best. Username. Evar.

            Let the trolling commence, good sir. I wish you well on your journey.

          • As a D&D fan with a neckbeard I resent this comment.

  • Now see, AMG says there’s infinite diversity possible within the confines of power metal, but Jean-Luc thinks symphonic metal has nowhere to go. Hell, I’ve seen Nightwish tour with Sabaton, so I think we can all agree there’s a lot in common between the two genres. Leaves’ Eyes has no excuse for lack of imagination. But where oh where is the symphonic parody metal?

    • Well I think “Symphonic Metal” as a concept has plenty of places it could go (see e.g. Therion’s Gothic Kabbalah)… but so many of those bands put basically zero effort into their writing.

      I’m all for a parody Nightwish though!

      • sir_c

        they are already a parody of themselves, see my earlier comment on the misheard lyrics video

  • GooberMan

    AMG, if you’ve not come across it yet I imagine you’d get a kick out of Tower of Fire, which was the result of a guy in Brisbane not liking euro power and writing an album parodying it – but like all good parodies it was also a solid example of the genre it was scoffing at.

    And now, I check Spotify to see if I can hear the glory of Gloryhammer for myself.

  • mauler77

    I wholeheartedly agree with your description of power metal. I’ve never been able to get into as it’s so cheesy. I’ll listen to some early Manowar and that’s enough for me. Having said that, the embedded track is pretty damn good fun, so I’ll be checking this out asap. Nice review!

  • sir_c

    Search youtube for “Nightwish – Wishmaster – Misheard Lyrics”, and power metal will never be the same again

    • madhare

      …I actually remember the lyrics to that one much better than the original one. …which I of course wouldn’t even bother to learn but the Fishmaster version just got stuck in my head without any effort.

      Hamster! A dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal!

      *da nana nana nana DAH DAH DAH da nana nana nana*
      (love the solo bits!)

      • [not a Dr]

        That’s because these lyrics ARE much better than the orininal one’s.

    • El_Cuervo

      Truly incredible. This comment deserves more love.

    • [not a Dr]

      Wishmaster: fixed.

  • Monsterth Goatom

    Epic review… easily one of your best. It aspires to the condition of a Steel Druhm review!

    Seriously, I’m intrigued. I’m a sucker for this stuff. Powerwolf is always fun and Elvenking’s latest was just an all-round great record. But your talk of “eee-ma-reld swohrds” is a hoot, and brought to mind Fran from The Man with Two Brains (“Doik! Doik! Doik! Doik of Oil! Oil! Oil!”). And when my kinds make me turn the radio in the car to stuff like Taylor Swift, I desperately wish I didn’t know English.

    • I’m sorry, but this is nowhere near a Steel Druhm review. I have not punned a single time. And thank Jeebus that I don’t! That man is all the kitsch this website needs!

      • Monsterth Goatom

        I get a kick out of the people having a shit hemorrhage because you gave this 4.5/5. “Hey, they’re making fun of metal’s excesses!” Isn’t metal in part about attacking all that’s sacred, rather than being a sacred cow itself? This is a lot of fun, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention.

  • madhare

    I think it works because powermetal is largely immune to parody. It’s already a parody of itself anyway. …so parodying will just result in… more of the same stuff. In that way Powermetal is teflon, nothing sticks.

    It’s almost like… they’re not actually parodying anything. It’s more like they are just honestly showing what powermetal is about. Actually powermetal usually fails if they try to hide its core and be all serious and pompous. (This is why I can’t stand lot of the sh*t that’s out there.) Exactly like you said, this is powermetal coming out of the closet.

    Love the review. And yes, this totally got me giggling like a little girl too. Although I doubt that I want to listen this many times. But again that applies to most powermetal anyway.

    But it is kind of genius. It’s not just cheese… it’s… soft cheese. :D

    • tomasjacobi

      “It’s almost like… they’re not actually parodying anything. It’s more like they are just honestly showing what powermetal is about.”
      I read an interview with Christopher Bowes where he more or less said exactly that. He said he gets bored with metal that takes itself too serious and what he’s trying to do in both Alestorm and Gloryhammer is focus on making music that’s fun and awesome.

      • Monsterth Goatom

        Bowes has succeeded in my books.

  • One More Thing

    That was the most fun I’ve had listening to a new song in a long time. Sold.

  • Thatguy

    Sigh……great writing AMG.

    But I’m with the miserabiists. This is horrible. Has Happy Metal Guy kidnapped you and assumed your identity?

    But on second thoughts I have missed the joke – surely we have been trolled.

  • Oberon

    After listening to the embedded video, I have to put Wisconsin for transfer season. This much cheese is too much for the more sensible PNW

    Is this the first 4.5 of the year?

    • Kronos

      …no. Well, from AMG yes, I think.

      • Oberon

        hmm, you gave the Kronos album a 4.5 too?

        • Kronos

          Purely coincidence, my consumer friend. Purely co-incidence. Hey you look like you could use a new hoodie.

          • Hulksteraus

            From the AMG store no less!

        • Kronos gives everything a 4.5.

      • Pimpolho

        What about Trials, Gentle Storm and Steven Wilson, friend?

        • Kronos

          Gentle storm is for sissies, that’s what.
          But yeah I was totally wrong.

    • Nechochwen got a 4.5.

    • Monsterth Goatom

      No. Sulphur Aeon and Hope Drone.

  • Dion Ka

    I don’t like power metal at all. I liked Sabaton’s “Coat of arms” and Devin Townsend Project’s “Epicloud” but that’s it. Although i very much like this album! There’s so much cheese and happyness and sillyness in it that it’s somehow good again for me and it’s so fun to listen to it.

  • Adam

    “Why take yourself seriously when you’re writing this kind of music? No, instead, just gently rib the scene by writing exactly the same kind of lyrics they do”

    This is almost exactly what Steel Panther do. Well performed and written (for glam…). Dethklok too.

  • Noobhammer

    Their first album was amazing as well. The dark sorcerer Zargothrax led an army of undead unicorns agains Angus McFife’s home of Dundee, and he had to set out on a quest to retrieve the fabled Hammer of Glory, and then returning to the war-torn city upon the back of a magical dragon wielding said hammer high, leading the knights of Crall into battle as they forced Zargothrax to flee.

    Truly a glorious album, filled with epic cheese that just makes you want to jump on top of the nearest table or raised object you can find, belt out the chorus with a fist raised high, and kick a passing child in the face as you jump off in a fit of glory. They are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands.

  • Monsterth Goatom

    Listening to this is like being a 10-year-old kid in 1979 waking up on Christmas morning to find Kenner’s Millenium Falcon under the tree.

  • Carlos Marrickvillian

    Glorious!
    This should have been a lyric video!

  • Levly

    Wow, this sounds frickin’ awesome! How did I not know this band?! And the lyrics are indeed hilarious. Even with the great PM records we’ve had this year (Blind Guardian, Orden Ogan), I hadn’t received yet my necessary dose of delicious and smelly cheese. Now I am satiated :).

  • Ralph Plug

    Oh god, those lyrics seem amazing. I was on the fence about buying this one, but those gigantic dragons made out of steeeeel tipped me right over the edge. It all seems gloriously naff.

  • Siege Bantayan

    This band is so awesome that it made my non-metal-liking girlfriend use Angus McFife her ringtone whenever I called her. Good shit right there.

  • FutureBeyondSatan

    Well, it is almost Halloween. I guess the costumes are appropriate. Although, if this guy came knocking on my door for candy, he would get punched in the face.

  • Beardfist

    There’s been an awful lot of Happy Metal Guy Mentions of late. Is it just the nostalgic nature of fall settling in the northern hemisphere, or are there gears ticking beneath the surface?

    A friend of mine has gotten heavily into this album off of a long streak of depressive, moody, bleak black metal. Makes me want to try it out, but october’s got so many goodies for the dreary alcoholic facing a bleak existence in us all.

  • This is amazing.

  • IamRipper

    That’s the best video I’ve ever seen. So the lead guitarist is a ghost? Awesome.

  • CyberJesus

    I was skeptical at first but now I’m a changed man. Onward Heroes of Dundee!

  • AnnieK13

    Imagine listening to this while smashing care bears and unicorns in Diablo…AWESOME!

    It’s like the Kraft of power metal. I love it.

  • Shawn Cypher

    This album is so much fun, haha. I love it.

  • madman

    very reminiscent of Bal-Sagoth, I dig it

  • Nahuel Benvenuto

    just a little coment: the people who thinks the lyrics of Rhapsody and the bands related to Turilli are a joke or “cheesy” are the ones who just simply dont understand them, there is a lot of more deep if you look for it, but yes they are badly writen, but the lyrics of the song “Prometheus” by example, that so many people made fun of, are amazing, is that they just dont know what he is talking about ;)

    • Nahuel Benvenuto

      okay i read the reviw, it was ok, the person who did this kinda doesnt like power metal enough to treatly as more of a joke or something like that? and yes i know the lyrics sound cheesy and kakko has made some strange things

  • Marco Bastianello

    Plus, it’s a Might&Magic affectionate parody in the way it mixes cheesy retro-sci-fi with equally stereotype heroic fantasy!

  • Óðinn

    No. Just no.

  • Lord_Polymath

    I’m a closet power metal listener. I knew I should not have listened/watched the sample song. Is it ok to listen to this “in the open”, whilst I continue my nightly closet trips to listen to the new Blind Guardian?

  • beurbs

    The production on this thing makes Devin Townsend look like George Martin.

  • beurbs

    All this self-awareness isn’t making it any more fun to listen to.

  • The Calgary Nerd.

    Months later. And this is now my number 2 favorite album of 2015. It’s fucking amazing and if you disagree you can suck my hammer of glory.

  • GardensTale

    This is basically the power metal equivalent of Nyan cat. I’m fucking sold!

  • Saran Srimee

    I need to check this album now.