Steel Seizure

“It’s a pretty good site,”
Said the elder Steel Druhm,
And the fellow who runs it
Seems proud it’s not shite

“But if I ran AMG,”
Said the cranky Steel One,
I’d make a few changes,
And do them by decree

The Prog and the Post-Metal and all that kind of stuff
They have up there now are not quite “metal” enough
You see things like these even on ye olde Yahoo
They’re awfully unkvlt and we need something trve!

So I’d suspend all the writers and toss them in the street
Where they’d wander around and shoegaze at their feet
And somehow or other I think I could find
A group of 80s metal fans of the old school kind

A single album is not much of a treat
Those reviewed here must be triple at least!
Concept albums that require 20 CDs?
The readers will read and they’ll shout “Enjoy of deep discography!”
My new blog, Steel Druhm‘s Blog will make people gawk
My new blog, Steel Druhm‘s mighty blog will make people RAWK!

Slayer

They’ll be so surprised they’ll swallow the sun
They’ll gasp at the sword-wielding barbarians and huns
Every cover will feature a rounded ace of spades
And at no point will Alestorm dare to invade

Comments of note would be rewarded with cash
And trolls we will always mercilessly bash
The Record(s) o’ the Month will still be quite late
But they’ll come with free beer and a molded breastplate

Jorn will do the editing while his mustache handles promo
And Joey DeMaio will enforce office trveness and draw up our new logo
Abbath will run IT and crab-walk round the servers
And Dan Swanö will do unicörning with his usual fervor

Stop…?
Well, I might
But not til this glorious new dawn
And that’s how it is, so get off my damn lawn!

 

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