In a dramatic departure from the established AMG norm, the Record(s) o’ the Month for November arrives rather late. With all the shopping, tree trimming, eggnog funneling and Happy Metal Guy mauling, there was scant time in which to hold the dreaded staff meetings/mud pit brawls that are part and parcel of our selection process. Yes, the silly season infects even those on the mighty mountain of AMG Conglomerated Blog Emporium, and we had to scramble to get this out before the inevitable “Best of 2017” lists descend upon you like an unstoppable avalanche of refined metal tastes (Master ov Muppets and SwordJørn‘s lists not withstanding). Without further preamble, let’s get to it so we can all go back to our seasonal overspending and self-loathing.

Though the votes were close and the staff divided, Converge takes the fruitcake for Best in Show with their ninth opus, The Dusk in Us. After a 5 year hiatus, it was fair to wonder what Converge had left after a long and storied career. This comeback indisputably demonstrates they’re still a relevant, powerful voice in the metal scene with much left to say. Dusk is a record Converge couldn’t have made 5 years ago, being a product of maturity and the wisdom that comes with advancing age. It’s savage and crushing, but also insightful, and at times even poignant. That’s quite a feat for a band that’s been kicking around for 25 years. As a very impressed Grymm exclaimed as he rocked into the night “It’s next to impossible, however, for a band to be around that long and not only remain vital, but continue to improve, mature, and captivate, all while remaining unflinchingly heavy, brutal, and most importantly themselves.”

Runner(s) Up:

Hobosexual // Monolith – Terrible name, awful album art, cheesy logo, questionable band photo and perplexing song titles, but Monolith still came within a micron of Record o’ the Month. Such is the power of Hobosexual‘s laid-back Seattle hard rock acumen. It’s not super heavy, nor rabidly aggressive, but the attitude and most importantly, the songcraft is top-notch. And the RIFFS, man, dear Lordy, the RIFFS. They’re overloaded with 100% pure rock n’ roll swagga. The kind that drinks all your expensive liquor and drives off with your significant other in a Trans-Am, leaving you with a torn up lawn and broken heart. You know you want some of that, so stop questioning your orientation and accept your Hobosexuality!

Desolate Shrine // Deliverance From the Godless Void – Considerably less upbeat than the other entries, Desolate Shrine skulks in the shadows like a loathsome creature. Gollum-core is the game, and this slimy, scab-covered amalgam of death, doom and black metal is awful to behold, but will entrance you nonetheless. It’s oppressive, ruinous and nasty, but there are enough melodic threads to follow. That makes for a harrowing but fulfilling journey into the maw of the void. As our resident thrall to the darkness, Ferrous Beuller so ably summed up, “This is the current jewel in this Finnish leviathan’s crown, whose wicked propensity for aural ugliness proves inexorably that Desolation is forever Godless, and this whole act immutably decreed.”

  • Brutalist_Receptacle
    • VikingSchism

      Please make sure they stay away from any brutal receptacles, though

    • HeavyMetalHamster

      That poor man’s penis is raping his hand.

    • Dude I literally just finished this episode, if I could triple upvote you I would.

      • HeavyMetalHamster

        What show ?

    • John

      Hahaha what a great episode.

    • sir_c

      Some heavy riffing in progress

  • HeavyMetalHamster

    November was terrible.

    • Leave the homeless shelter!

      • HeavyMetalHamster

        Really?
        At Christmas?

      • HeavyMetalHamster

        You will be visited by the ghosts of Dio, Jorn and Devin Townsend…..beware. ….

        • Devin is so weird he gets ghost privileges, eh?

    • Gage

      Agreed. Desolate Shrine was the only album I even considered buying.

    • welyyt

      Aosoth, Taake, Impureza and Converge were great, November was pretty cool for me. Cloak was good too.

      • lennymccall

        Came here to say Cloak is definitely my fave from the month. Shot up high on my year end list real fast too.
        Damn it’s good!

    • BenMech

      but Novembre rule

  • lrn2swim

    Long live sexual hobos!

  • Ferrous Beuller

    Vindication!

  • Almost spat out my coffee at that opening sentence. Threw coffee away in rage upon reading that heartless slight against mine own musical superiority. Banged head against wall repeatedly upon seeing that fruitcake line wasted when Hobosexual are right there in the next blurb.
    God I hate this place.

    • This is the winter of your malcontent.

    • defjam

      That opening sentence is tantamount to Best Joke of
      2017

  • Yolo Swaggins

    Everyone should thank me. I complained about this yesterday, and lo and behold today we have this post!

    • Yolo Swaggins

      also, the only thing I remember from November is Hobosexual, which is unashamedly apart of my top 10 records this year.

    • You complete us.

      • Yolo Swaggins

        I must say I’m flattered. I’m feeling the love.

    • PotaD0s

      Truly the hero we needed. Maybe Brutalist will thank you properly? My dinky lowercase non-bolded thanks looks so pitiful.

  • Rodrigo D.C.

    Why no Moonspell’s 1755?

    • sir_c

      Well… how shall I put it…

      • WE’RE WAITING
        Jesus, I gotta do everything around here.

        • sir_c

          You are such guy who also strikes matches in a gas station, aren’t you?

          Anyway, in short, I did not find it surprising that Moonspell did not end up on the shortlist, as I did not think it was that good.

    • Danny

      Why no king fleshgod apocalypse

      • Grymm

        HI DO NOT SUMMON HER PLZ KTHXBYE

        • Monsterth Goatom

          I kind of miss Kelli. That was fun. I wonder if she’ll pop up here again and birth us a new meme based on her pick for album of the year.

    • Wilhelm

      Moonspell just keeps getting worse and worse with every release – add to the lousy songwriting a very compressed shiny loud production/mastering job and it’s just too un-listenable.

      • RuySan

        Omega white was great, so not really.

        But I agree that 1755 just wasn’t very good and the mastering was terrible

  • Monsterth Goatom

    Given the season, I’d like to formerly protest the absence of red and green colours on the three album covers. I’m somewhat mollified by the happy shark face on the Converge cover.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/935f8c95016253d71b29e1014ca594d068c3d567ae1b9bc74a31056a782a388c.png

    • AgonMcDuck

      Happy shark doo doo doo doo doo doo

    • Bas

      Whow its realy there!!#

      • Monsterth Goatom

        I actually see a few other faces, too, but maybe I’ve had too much eggnog.

    • Grymm

      From being a backup dancer for Katy Perry at the Super Bowl to being immortalized on a Converge cover.

      That is one impressive résumé for Happy Shark!

      • Monsterth Goatom

        Ha, I forgot about Katy’s left shark. This may not be the left shark, but it’s the right shark for me!

  • AgonMcDuck

    I would’ve given the nod to Blaze of Perdition. Their record has not left my playlists, man.

    • basenjibrian

      Agree! Epic and haunting album.

    • AshCinderSmoke

      Ah, thanks for the reminder. Been traveling a lot this month and I completely forgot to give it a listen.

      • AgonMcDuck

        Welcome! As it’s four tracks and 40+ minutes, it’s something you’re really going to have to devote time to, not something you listen to bits and pieces of. But trust me, it’s totally worth it. It’s truly a harrowing experience and I mean that in the best possible way.

    • GWW

      This is “Angry (sort of) Metal Guy reviews, so that shit was never going to happen.

  • WhamBamSam

    I’m going to have to diverge (get it?) from the choices here. I liked Hyperion a lot more than Eldritch did, to the point where it might make my year end list. Runners up would be Vhaldemar and No Amnesty. Kind of an old school month for me I guess.

  • diogo

    Need to give Converge a few more tries, but instantly liked Hobosexual. To me, they sound like a heavier, better version of Band of Horses circa 2010.

  • Iain Gleasure

    Hey Diabolus your tastes have been acknowledged as refined! They admit the might of Alestorm

  • Planex

    R A B B L E
    A
    B
    B
    L
    E

  • Eli Valcik

    This is all I wanted for Christmas. (Well besides a date with Deborah Ann Will, but that’s not happening.)

    • Not with that attitude.

    • ToddRob64

      You can keep chasing that I’ll keep working on Deborah Ann Woll

  • Bas

    No Yes No

    Too busy with my end of the year list, no time to make more comments….

  • Carlos Marrickvillian

    Pretty righteous selections there.
    Even though I haven’t dug into Converge yet, I know I’m gonna love it and that Desolate Shrine album is outstanding and easily one of the best albums this year.

    • Converge’s album MAY be just a smidge more glorious than Hobosexual’s, but the votes were close enough that I can excuse this oversight.

      • Carlos Marrickvillian

        I thought Hobosexual was your new lifestyle section

  • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

    Hobosexual… On the running for both Best AND Worst band name of All Time!

    • My vote goes to best, the name was 85% of why I chose them in the first place.

    • basenjibrian

      Punk band NoFX had a song Hobophobic…Scared of Bums.

    • Grymm

      It could have been worse. Hoboszechuan hasn’t been claimed yet.

      • madhare

        Hoboszechuansauce

  • Eldritch Elitist

    I’m disappointed I wasn’t referenced in that “shit taste” jab. My recommendations are reckless and wildly unpredictable.

    • I attack you personally during list o mania.

      • Ferrous Beuller

        Jealous

      • Kronos

        I can’t wait.

    • This goes to prove, you’re just moving up the food chain!

  • Turtlehead

    I can’t believe AWLWLB came out in 2012. I’ve been listening to that album at least twice per month for 5 years.

  • Name’s Dalton

    Jupiterian took home the top spot for me, just above Desolate Shrine.

  • Absolomb

    Solely judging on the backdrop you’d assume the RoTM was one of the cvltest in a long time but in fact it’s one of the cvtest.

  • André Snyde Lopes

    Bullshit. Desolate Shrine annihilates the competition.

    • Ferrous Beuller

      Correct.

  • AgonMcDuck

    I interrupt this broadcast to announce that new White Wizzard is coming in January.

  • Jeremy Freeman

    What about Cavalera Conspiracy…when you have an album that sounds like Beneath The Remains, and Arise with a little Schizophrenia thrown in there. That gets my vote for album of the year. Though I feel it was to short!! ;o)

  • GWW

    Converge may be the best Metal band with the most horribly irritating schreechy Emocore dipshit singing, ever, in history. I love the rest of it and want to murder the “Vocalist” every time i hear it.

  • So annoyed I didn’t get to see the Converge (probably my second favourite band after Queen) background as I took a holiday from AMG over the break..! Grrr! There should be a way of seeing old backgrounds…