Angry Metal Guy

Some records are so monumental that you need more than one opinion on them, particularly if those records have created this kind of feedback. In this case, we will be reviewing Morbid Angel‘s newest record. This is monumental, there is no other way to put it.

Continue reading

Insense // Burn in Beautiful Fire
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — Quoth the Raven, ‘No more core!!’
Label: Indie Recordings
Websites: myspace.com/insense
Release Dates: EU: 2011.04.08 US: 04.08.2011 [Digitally]

Reviewing albums like this is how I pay my debt for getting the Amon Amarth review. My inbox will become a wasteland of the very worst metalcore, deathcore, screamocore and whatever soulless rubbish Angry Metal Guy can hurl at me in an Oden-like rage (thank God I didn’t ask for the upcoming Amorphis review). As part of my community service, I’m here to enlighten you about Norway’s Insense and their fourth album Burn in Beautiful Fire. If you never heard of them, these guys play third-rate metalcore with all the emo/screamo pap that goes along with that craptastic style. Their bio says Anders Fridén of In Flames thinks they’re the next big thing to hit the scene. Well, if this is what Anders thinks is good music, that explains why In Flames has sucked so thoroughly since Colony. All apologies and respect to Mr. Fridén but even by metalcore standards this is super shitty and irritating. It’s boring,  annoyingly unoriginal and painfully below average in every aspect. I even hate the freaking album cover. Continue reading

The Haunted // Unseen
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — Best left unheard too
Label: Century Media Records
Websites: www.the-haunted.com | myspace.com/thehaunted
Release Dates:  EU: 21.03.2011 | US: 03.22.2011

I’m sure most know the history of The Haunted and how they formed from the ashes of the legendary At The Gates. Despite my love for At The Gates, I never fully understood the stellar press and support The Haunted received and always felt they were one of the most overrated bands on the planet. Eventually they started to drift toward a more metalcore style and I lost the limited interest I had in them. Now they’re back with album seven Unseen and they’ve left their thrash days in the dust, probably for good. Instead, they deliver a strange, directionless mess of experimentation, emo angst, nu-metal and alt-rock. It’s clear they’re writing only for themselves and could care less what their fans expect or hope for at this point. While that’s admirable from an artistic perspective, when the results are this tedious and uninspiring, it’s both tragic and cringe-inducing. No matter how brave and creative they want to be, at the end of the day they should still be striving to write good music and they seem to have forgotten that here. Continue reading

Rabbits // Lower Forms
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — Irritatingus Maxiumus
Label: Relapse
Websites: rabbitusmaxiums.com | myspace.com/rabbitusmaximus
Release Dates: EU: 14.02.2011 | US: 02.15.2011

OK. So. Let me preface this by saying that I’m not a huge fan of anything Rabbits is defined as. I don’t really like hardcore and haven’t liked it since I was in high school. And even then I only flirted with the genre and never really got into it. Second, I listen to a lot of music. I get new music every day and I hear new shit all the time. I try to be pretty open minded, but sometimes I just don’t like shit. And I really, really, really don’t like Rabbits – Lower Forms. I’m sure these guys are OK with that, though, because that’s the point of being counter cultural. Continue reading

Lazarus A.D. // Black Rivers Flow
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — Somebody shit in the river
Label: Metal Blade Records
Websites: lazarusad.com | myspace.com/lazarus1
Release Dates: EU: 01.28.2011 | US: 02.01.2011

There are plenty of myths that sane folks know to be false like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and honest politicians. However, one should never count the sophomore slump among those fairy tales and urban legends, for it is very real and very painful to behold. Exhibit A for 2011 is Lazarus A.D. who had a decent if not remarkable debut with 2009′s The Onslaught. Many seemed to lump them in with the retro-thrash revival and while there was some Exodus aping to be sure, they always sounded more metalcore-ish to my ears. Although I hate metalcore like I hate taxes, there was enough aggression, energy and nods to the old school throughout The Onslaught to make it semi-palatable and I didn’t totally hate it. Well, there is simply no digesting their second platter Black Rivers Flow, as Lazarus A.D. have firmly embraced their inner mall kid and all things Shadow’s Fall and the result is a veritable black river of crappy, overused grooves, tough guy posturing and general mediocrity. Continue reading

Shadows’ Grey // Bonjour Tristesse
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — If you love the Twilight series, you’ll love this!
Label: Twilight-Vertrieb
Websites: myspace.com/shadowsgreyband
Release Dates: EU: 21.01.2011 | US: 01.21.2011 (digitally)

You know, if you read this blog all the time you’d probably be getting the impression that I hate female fronted bands who are doing sort of the gothy thing. But that’s not true. It’s actually something I really enjoy when it’s done right! I have no issues with gothic metal, I don’t find the sort of dramatic, over-the-top stuff to be a turn off really. It just needs to be done well, something that it is serially not. And there are varying levels of ‘not done well,’ but let’s say that Shadows’ Grey—the German band formerly known as Scargod who had one EP in 2007—is one degree of the idea. Continue reading

And Hell Followed With // Proprioception
Rating: 1.5/5.0 – Painfully medio-core
Label: Earache
Websites: myspace.com/andhellfollowedwith
Release Dates: US: Out Now | EU: 26.07.2010

Steel Druhm likes NOT this whole “deathcore thing.” There, I said it! Now, all you deathcore teen weenies can pull your collective jaws off the floor and prepare to dismiss the following review as biased, or perhaps, “reviewed in bad faith,” whatever the fuck that means. However, before you do so, kindly consider that the reason for my dislike of Proprioception, the second album by Michigan’s And Hell Followed With is way more because of how bland and average the material is and less because of its regrettable deathcore style. Sadly, this material isn’t good regardless of the genre.

Continue reading

Royal Jester // Night is Young
Rating: 1.5/5.0 – Surely you Jest
Label: Scarlet Records
Websites: myspace.com/royaljestermetal
Release Dates: EU: 12.04.2010 | US: ?

Hate is a very strong word and perhaps it gets thrown around too casually these days. After all, hate is a very ugly, negative emotion and even the angriest of metal guys should strive to avoid it. With that said, I hate Royal Jester’s debut album Night is Young. Maybe that sounds harsh but it’s the sad truth. It isn’t the musical style that brings me to hate it. Royal Jester plays Euro power metal and I really like Euro power metal when it’s done properly. I even like some of what might be called “happy power metal.” In fact, it seems I have become the resident power metal geek around these parts and that’s why this review ended up in my lap. However, after sustained, repeated listens to this album with an open mind, and giving this young band from Sweden every possible benefit of the doubt, there isn’t much good to say about Night is Young.

Royal Jester’s take on Euro power metal is painfully generic and unoriginal and it’s done in such a way that absolutely nothing about them stands out and grabs the listener. It seems as if these guys formed a band and ran down the Official Power Metal Checklist™ without any further thought. Fast guitars without edge or bite? Check. Rapid fire double bass runs? Check. Bouncy, happy sounding, utterly non-threatening music? Check, double check. Toss in an extremely nondescript singer and you have Royal Jester. In fact, everything about this band is derivative. From the Edguy themed album cover to the Edguy themed band name (I will refrain from bashing their completely awful name to avoid excessive crankiness).

Of the ten songs on Night is Young, none really stand out from one another. Each attempts to emulate the style of Freedom Call, Insania or Axenstar and all generally fail because this is just so damn plain and average. Of the lot, I suppose “Wings of Tomorrow” and “Born Again” qualify as best in show, but when things are this dismal, what difference does it make? Worst in show is clearly “If You Were Mine,” which is one of the most insipid, cringe worthy, and giggle inducing “metal” songs to come along in quite some time. This is the song you would NOT want to be playing when your other heavy metal buddies came over. Honestly, even your little sister would smack you around if she heard you listening to this pablum.

Basically, there isn’t a whole lot more to say about these guys and why prolong the pain? There is an old expression that applies here. “Success is easy, just be the first, best or different.” Royal Jester fails at all three. They are a clone made from another clone. Nothing here is new, interesting, exciting or even well done. It isn’t heavy and it sure isn’t powerful and only serves to exemplify why power metal has gotten a bad name among the metal intelligentsia. There are only two reasons I can see anyone buying this album: Either because they must have every new power metal album that comes out or they mistakenly thought it was Royal Hunt [or they're from the same town. Support local music! - AMG]. If you want to hear a quality power metal album, hunt down the new release from Sinbreed and see how this is supposed to be done. Stay far, far away from this flowery, candy- coated fiasco.

Anima // Enter the Killzone
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — So much wrong here..
Label: Metal Blade
Website: myspace.com/animamusic666
Release Dates: EU: 26.02.2010/01.03.2010 | US: Unknown

I am not a trend hater. While the whole world has been hating on Deathcore for its tight pants and swoopy hair, I’ve been defending the fact that bands don’t have to “look like metal dudes” to make good metal. While jackass elitists are purging the genre from Encyclopaedia Metallum because they don’t like the trend, bands like Suicide Silence and Job for a Cowboy have shown that these bands can write killer riffs and produce solid records—even if they’re not stylistically something I’m a big fan of. Anima, unfortunately, is not so easy to defend.

Enter the Killzone is an illustrious example of what one observer referred to as “paint by numbers Deathcore”. From the obligatory horror movie clip introduction, to the Suicide Silence ripoff “Black Night”, which is the band writing a “metal” soundtrack to a B horror movie killing. From the “dynamic” vocals (i.e., high harsh vocals and brutal death growls a la Trevor Strnad), and the At The Gates worship riffs offset by the stupid breakdowns, to the hyper-replaced drums that sound like complete fucking shit. Enter the Killzone has it all.

There are high points. The track “Welcome to Our Killzone” has a superb breakdown and some very cool staccato riffing. The final track on the record “XXXIII” has some cool keyboards towards the end that definitely stand out from the rest of the album. But while the whole album is filled with riffs that could be ripped off from any number of brutal death metal bands, the songwriting never ranges beyond the conventional. One can hardly breathe without encountering an  ill-conceived breakdown or Deathcore cliché.

Where this album really lost me, however, is the production. I am not a producer, but I do know some things about production and if the only way you can think to make the drums stand out from the music is to make them sound this tinny and fake, then I think you need a new career. Every time the drums ever stood out I shuddered with grim realization that this may be simply the worst drum production I have ever heard in my entire life. This is not an exaggeration. Notice how I bolded, italicized AND underlined it up above in the second paragraph? That’s because these drums sound like robotic, drum machine ass. But it’s not just that, everything is weirdly muffled and just sort of lacks any kind of dynamic width.

In a way, I feel bad for Anima. I’m sure that they didn’t decide how their drums were going to sound or really had much say in the final mix, either. My guess is they went to a dude who decided all of that. These guys are fundamentally sound players who write some alright riffs but got super hosed on production. Unfortunately, if I’m not the only guy who has this kind of visceral reaction to the drum sound and banal song writing, my guess is that they’ll be “entering the killzone” of the Metal Blade drop pool in no time.

See how I brought that around there? See that? Awwww, shit.

Barn Burner // Bangers
Rating: 1.5/5.0 — Pretty good album marred by very banal, lackluster vocals
Label: Metal Blade
Website: myspace.com/theinfamousbarnburner
Release Dates: EU: 15.02.2010 | US: 02.16.2010

I don’t know about you, but when I think about classic rock I think about vocalists. Guys like Steve Perry, Steven Tyler, Robert Plant, Geddy Lee.. you know, big voices, amazing melodies, and sure while you might not like every single person there, you appreciate what they offered in the sense of their huge influence and their technical skill. Hell, even look at early metal vocalists, guys like Paul Di’Anno, Rob Halford and Bruce Dickinson were all very different stylistically, but had gripping melodies, great presence and pushed forward with their sounds. So what fascinates me is that any band with sort of a classic rock influence and approach would ever select a vocalist with a 4 note range.. but I have now encountered it on Barn Burner‘s Bangers.

I do not begrudge a band its style. No, every band has its own style, for better or worse, and should be accepted for that style. And stylistically there are some very compelling things about the band Barn Burner, which is releasing their debut record on Metal Blade in about a week. The record is heavy and thick with a nice, old fashioned analogue sound that is pleasing to the ears and that is reminiscent of a time when men were men and bell bottoms were hip. The riffing is iron clad and enjoyable, pumping out excellent classic rock influenced licks that build tension and make you want to rock on tracks like “Medium Rare” and “Brohemoth”.  The foundation here is worth a listen to, really, ’cause this Canadian foursome has some pretty serious chops.

However, despite the record being rock solid and thick there’s this guy who drones over it. I’m actually not kidding about the vocalist’s 4 note range. I think it literally is like four notes. I didn’t count them to be sure, so I might be showing some kind of terrible bias here, but honestly it feels like ONE note the whole time, so I’m being generous by saying that he has a four note range. I could publish my notes for this review, but I think it would just add insult to injury because they all say things like “Monotone melody. Band has great chops. Four note chorus.” and “Vocalist sucks.” Or my personal favorite: “Band good. Vocalist bad.”

Honestly, I’ve been trying to figure out who this guy sounds like but I really can’t come up with it. So imagine a guy with the range of Blaze Bayley and the delivery of Bob Dylan. And actually, he kind of reminds me of the vocalist from that stupid band 3 Doors Down, except that (shock!) that guy has a better range. That probably explains it. Sure, one could say that this is sort of punky and raw, but I don’t think that’s really true. Guys in punk can sing like Bad Religion or NOFX or Propagandhi and the list goes on. Paul Di’Anno was a punky, raw metal vocalist and he has some serious fucking chops when he wanted them! No, this dude pretty much just drones at the listener for 40 minutes and at the end you’re left thinking, “Who let that guy out of the bar bathroom?”

Now, I know that this is stoner rock and I have never claimed to be a fan of stoner rock. With tracks like “Brohemoth” and “Beer Today, Bong Tomorrow” you know what we’re dealing with here. But I’m pretty sure that the dudes from Led Zeppelin were stoned like ALL THE TIME and somehow Robert Plant still manages to be a compelling vocalist. I’ve heard death metal growls with more diversity and range than this dude. I want to say for the record so that it doesn’t seem like I’m just taking cheap shots at the dirty hippies that musically, aside from the vocals this band has a ton of potential. I really enjoy the sound and the production, it’s beautiful, old school and meaty. Those are things that are missing in a ton of modern metal and rock and so I feel kinda bad for these guys that they’ve been saddled with such a vocalist. If they could get someone who has a little bit more range and personality, these guys would probably do well enough that they could buy some really good weed.