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70000 Tons of Metal
70000 Tons of Metal 2018: Enter the Metal World
“Scene: German dancy folk metal band In Extremo play on a stage built on the deck of a giant ship. In the hot tub in the audience, a woman wearing a unicorn mask headbangs. A conga line lead by Jesus winds its way through the crowd.” Join the Metal Navy!
70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey
“My friends ask me what happened, but my ability to verbally communicate has been reduced to moaning and a weeping noise that sounds something like a baby panda crying for milk. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the final day of this floating festival. I wonder when the aching will subside. I wonder where my life went so wrong. How did I end up here, on the 7th annual 70000 Tons of Metal cruise, weak with exhaustion and feeling like my body has been bludgeoned with a sledgehammer? My mind drifts back…” Tales from a 70000 ton heavy thing.
70,000 Tons of Metal Live Review
“I don’t agree with my dad on everything, but there’s one thing we do agree about: cruises are the best way to vacation. Free all-you-can-eat buffets, breezy tropical weather, alcohol and entertainment available everywhere, and – most importantly – you’re always within walking distance of your room, so you never have to worry about getting a DUI or throwing up in an Uber on your ride back to the Red Roof Inn. But a cruise with 60 metal bands and over 3,000 fans from all over the world, making a four day round-trip to Jamaica with bars that never close? That’s a whole different beast entirely!” In the Navy, you can rock the seven seas!
