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Goratory – Sour Grapes Review

Goratory – Sour Grapes Review

“While scrotal brutal technical death metal is not usually my bag, potty humor certainly is. Boston’s Goratory butter their bread with filth — as evidenced by past album title jewels like Orgasm Induced Diarrhea — and when I saw the ballsy artistic choices the band had made for new record Sour Grapes, I was helpless to resist.” Poo Poo platter.

Desecresy – The Mortal Horizon Review

Desecresy – The Mortal Horizon Review

Desecresy is conservative by way of being aware they’ve inherited something good, to crib the excellent contemporary philosopher Sir Roger Scruton’s understanding of the term. Desecresy has inherited the Finnish melodic death-doom sound, and is obviously aware of its goodness along with its inner workings.” Inherit the icy wind.

Grossty – Crocopter Review

Grossty – Crocopter Review

“My comrades may disagree, but I find the forced exploration inherent in reviewing to be a feature, not a bug. Operating outside of the norm drew me to metal in the first place, so I embrace this newfound stream of eclectic tastes and unexpected origin. Debutantes Grossty are the latest enigma I find rapping at my door. One of the only bands grinding in India today, they offer escape from the trappings of a metal culture that, though born of difference, too often trends toward uniformity.” Tasting the world, one promo at a time.

Crucified Mortals – Psalms of the Dead Choir Review

Crucified Mortals – Psalms of the Dead Choir Review

“Choosing what to do for Halloween is, in some sense, a lot like choosing how to be a metal band. You can try to deliberately frighten people, like Portal, be as provocative as possible, like Anal Cunt, flaunt your good feminine looks like the one member of Amaranthe anyone cares about, do something wacky and out-of-the-box like Troldhaugen, or you can throw on some old goblin mask and just go get drunk, loud and rowdy.” The goblins and ghosts are at the door.

Enbilulugugal – Noizemongers for Goatserpent Review

Enbilulugugal – Noizemongers for Goatserpent Review

“33 COPIES. That’s the amount of copies pressed of the 2011 re-release of Noizemongers for Goatserpent, the seminal 2004 “classic” by California’s black/noise merchants, Enbilulugugal. On CDR, no less! This would cause the hearts of both hipsters and black metal elitists to flutter in obscure bliss and revel in the notion that, truly, you have never heard of this before. Sadly, for those (devil) horn-rimmed glasses-wearing folk, Crucial Blast is re-re-releasing Noizemongers for Goatserpent, this time on a two-disc digipak with beautiful art, liner notes… and two discs containing 79 FUCKING TRACKS (!!!) of some of the worst sounds ever put to record.” 79 tracks is a whole lot of bang for the buck. Who would complain about a bargain like that? Our man Grymm, that’s who!