Cain’s Offering

Stratovarius – Eternal Review

Stratovarius – Eternal Review

“Euro-power is in a bit of rut lately, with very few releases really grabbing my jaded ears with the proper blend of bombast, cheese whizardry and over-the-top exuberance. Stratovarius was once a no brainer when I needed such sonic excesses, but the past few albums have been hit or miss affairs, especially 2013s Nemesis where the band explored a more commercialized, and dare I say it, poppy style.” Can the former Lords of Euro-power regain the Cheddar-Coated Throne of Power?

Cain’s Offering – Stormcrow Review

Cain’s Offering – Stormcrow Review

“It is written that man greatly displeased his finicky but beneficent Creator, and thus did God come to curse Mankind with various and sundry plagues of pestilence, locusts, skinny jeans and metal super groups. Over time some of these curses have proven more tolerable than others, but I’ll take a good locust swarm over the typical half-baked, so-called super group.” Super groups may annoy, but Cain is certainly able.

Wintersun – Time I Review

Wintersun – Time I Review

For a few years now, the proverbial white whale of the heavy metal scene has been a new Wintersun record. After the band’s initial, highly acclaimed (some would say overrated), self-titled debut from 2004 former Ensiferum frontman Jari Mäenpää essentially fell off the face of the earth. Now, I’m not a die-hard fan, so I have not kept up with the ridiculous, neurotic, Axl Rose-like kabuki theater that apparently drove fans nuts, but the fact that 8 years later we’re getting record number two should probably tell you the torture that Jari put his fans through. Teaming up with Kai Hanto of Swallow the Sun on drums, Jukka Koskinen of Amberian Dawn and Cain’s Offering on bass and Teemu Mäntysaari of the short-lived Imperanon on guitar, Jari’s new record, what we now know to be 2012’s Time I, has teased fans for years and has ruffled some feathers. So the question is at it always is: can this record possibly live up to the sky-high expectations that the fans have.

Things You May Have Missed: Cain’s Offering – Gather the Faithful

Things You May Have Missed: Cain’s Offering – Gather the Faithful

You may, actually, have missed that Jani Liimatainen (ex-Sonata Arctica) actually has a new band! For those of us who are long time fans of Sonata Arctica, this was great news! However, the bad news was quickly assessed when I realized that Tim Kotipelto had, in fact, done the vocals on this record. So, good news and bad news. Well, I gotta say that Cain’s Offering didn’t end up being a bust, but I gotta be honest with you, I still fucking hate Timo Kotipelto’s vocals more than almost anything in the world. He just can’t quit sounding thin, irritating, annoying, whiny and.. generally crappy ALL THE TIME. His lyrics aren’t very hot either, honestly, nor is his understanding of English (though honestly it’s hard to blame him for fucking up prepositions and prepositional phrases given that Finnish has no prepositions at all and English is his second language…).