Angry Metal Guy

DC4 //Electric Ministry
Rating: 3.5/5.0 —Cock rock with balls!
Label: Metal Blade Records
Websites: myspace.com/dc4duncan
Release Dates: Out now!

I didn’t want to review this, didn’t even want to listen to it. Angry Metal Guy said I had to do it. I bitched, moaned, put it off, made excuses and so on. I didn’t like the cover or the song titles. It screamed cheesy cock rock  and I had a general feeling of dread. Yesterday I resigned myself to biting the bullet and just getting through it. Although I was pretty much right on the nail about the cock rock, much to my shock, this didn’t suck. In fact, it rocked! It seems even the mighty Steel Druhm can be wrong (like twice on eon). DC4 is a semi-supergroup composed of former members of Armored Saint (Jeff Duncan), Dio (Rowan Robertson) and Odin (Shawn Duncan). They play a metallized hard rock style that can be compared to classic era Van Halen if Dimebag Darrel was the guitarist and songwriter. Yes, I mean that. Electric Ministry is their third full length and it features a collection of straight forward, guitar-driven hard rock anthems with just enough grit and punch to satisfy the average metal monger. They effectively craft songs with big, pumping, meaty  riffs and hooks galore. Its essentially panties-on-the-head party metal with a sleazy, “good times” vibe that veers into dark, disturbing areas at times. I’ll be honest here, I actively resisted liking this and it didn’t work. I resent DC4 making me support this release! What is the world coming to? Continue reading

In This Moment // A Star-Crossed Wasteland
Rating: 1.0/5.0 — Every time you play this record a Metal God dies…
Label: Century Media
Websites: myspace.com/inthismoment
Release Dates: EU: 12.07.2010 | US: 07.13.2010

So I admit, I’ve never heard SoCal pop rockers In This Moment before. This review will be completely devoid of comparisons to their last two records. Nor will it be filled with witty insights into how the band has changed over their time and whether or not this is a darker record (of course, every new record is the darkest, heaviest, etc., that any band has ever done, so trust the bio about as far as you can throw Arnold Schwarzneger). No, this is going to pretty much be a tirade about how much I really don’t like this album at all or the style of music or basically anything about this at all except for Maria’s clean singing voice, which is very good. You are warned. Don’t throw a fit in the comments because I hate your favorite band: I’ve already warned you. If you read past the jump then it’s your own fucking fault. Continue reading

H.E.A.T. // Freedom Rock
Rating: 0.5/5.0 — Cynical bullshit
Label: Playground Music
Websites: heatsweden.com | myspace.com/heatsweden
Release Dates: Northern Europe: Out | Rest of Europe: 28.05.2010

It is more and more apparent to me every day that heavy metal is going into a hibernation stage. As an Angry Metal Guy I try to keep my ear to the ground for movement in a forward direction, particularly from younger people. Instead, there’s nothing but a rash of neo-heavy metal and thrash bands that flood the market as apparently 18 year olds all feel like the really missed out on thrash and are out of ideas. But what’s worse than kids writing thrash metal records that could’ve been written in 1982? Kids writing butt rock albums that should’ve been written in the dying throws of 1980s cock rock in about 1991. That’s right, H.E.A.T., from the same town as venerable rockers Europe have decided to run with 1980s action movie theme as the basis for their sound.

So, you know how this sounds. In case you don’t, it’s like Winger or Warrant or any other one of those generic, unremarkable 1980s butt rock bands that everyone was so happy to do away with in the early 1990s. But there’s a twist. Oh yes, a twist. (Actually there’s more than one.) Firstly, this is an intentionally radio friendly pop band that is having their sound driven by the pop music industry in Sweden towards short, catchy and, finally, TV friendly songs that are cynically aimed directly at the panties of middle aged women who were super sexy in 1986 and miss all the hairspray, stiletto heels and tight skirts (or just never stopped..). Secondly, these guys aren’t even remotely on the cutting edge of anything. They are pure nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia and I’m not actually sure how they sleep at night, because they must have no dignity.

But let me go on a little tangent before continuing this review. Let us remember that when Europe released their excellent first two albums (Europe, and The Wings of Tomorrow a record that I still regularly listen to) they were doing something new. Sure, they were trying pretty hard to be Thin Lizzy and they were cheesy as hell. But they were on the cutting edge of rock  (not as cutting as Bathory but, really, aside from that). They were part of a generation of young dudes who were breaking against the old traditions of masculinity by taking long hair, mullets and tights to extremes. They were writing Malmsteenesque guitar solos that still rule and they didn’t have producers standing at their backs (neither were they thanking slave drivers in their booklet). They were an independent group that got signed and wrote some great fucking music before finally selling their souls to the devil.

H.E.A.T. is the exact opposite of Europe. They are the exact opposite of forward thinking. They are the exact opposite of rock music rebellion of danger, of toughness and of anything except for pre-packaged commercial crap. They are nothing more than a repackaging of another schlager hit (complete with obligatory key changes in the final chorus). While they, surprisingly, do write their own music and are actually apparently fairly gifted musicians (there’s the occasional guitar solo that is really well done—like the one from the utterly cheesy “Danger Road”), the utter cynicism of this music turns my stomach.

Then again, I’m not the target audience by any stretch of the imagination. I feel like I’ve actually maybe been a little hard on the neo-thrash bands. Because thrash, while it maybe got a tad commercial when Metallica and Megadeth were on top of the world in the early 90s, isn’t the kind of thing that they’re expecting to have huge commercial success with. Drinking beer, rocking a Flying V and wearing tight jeans is still fundamentally metal and cool. H.E.A.T. is fundamentally neither of those things and if you’re a real metal fan you will not like this unless, maybe, you have an ironic mullet. Then it’s up in the air.

I don’t know if anyone else has been noticing this, but what the hell is with the whole rock/”metal” musicians (in reality, it’s pretty much just the cock rock and alternative scene guys) getting in on reality TV thing?  According to what I just read on Blabbermouth, fucking Mike Starr from Alice in Chains (he used to play bass) is getting in on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.  I don’t want to be a downer for these guys: but seriously, can’t you do yourself the favor of not embarrassing yourself in public and maybe dealing with your addiction problems in private, where they should be handled!?

There are a couple of reasons this bugs me.  First, I really just hate reality shows.  I think they are totally lowest common denominator bullshit and they should be pissed on by anyone with a brain.  But secondly, is the crave for fame and the spotlight so big for these D-List celebraties that they have to air their personal dirty laundry on TV in order to somehow feel important and worthwhile?  I know it’s a paying gig, but I suspect that kicking a drug addiction, like any kind of serious problem, is probably quite personal and not the kind of thing that’s going to go well in a public forum.  If someone is pushing a fucking camera in your face what are the chances that you’re actually going to say what you’re really thinking?

It’s weak, and it’s stupid.  But what else?  Didn’t we already have to put up with embarrassing pictures of metal musicians after Metallica‘s trainwreck Some Kind of Ridiculous Lamitude?  And now look at those guys!  Lars Ulrich wears silk scarves on TV shows and mislabels black metal as death metal.  (Of course, this entire clip is kinda painful in general.)

There are plenty of metal musicians who aren’t stupid addicts, there are plenty who deal with their alcoholism like professionals and there are plenty of metal musicians who don’t wear silk scarves!  Mike Starr, Steven Adler, the jackasses from Poison and Mötley Crüe are not representative of the scene in any way.  I guess on this same note, I should tell Dolving from The Haunted to shut the fuck up.  But I think he’s funny.  Plus, his silly Swedish ass isn’t on TV.