Dutch Metal

Legion of the Damned – Poison Chalice Review

Legion of the Damned – Poison Chalice Review

“I remember being blown away by the badassery that is 2007’s Sons of the Jackal. Whenever I find myself thinking back on that album, I typically spend a week with it on repeat. But, no matter how old these gents get, they never soften. And this year’s Poison Chalice once again proves that there’s no room for posers, and please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.” Damned if you don’t.

Teitan – In Oculus Abyss Review

Teitan – In Oculus Abyss Review

“Even if it’s not so prevalent now, part of black metal’s original aims was to shock, subvert, and make uncomfortable. Metal fans and horror aficionados alike, among others, are privy to the thrills of art that disquiets, and sends a shiver up the spine. Teitan—the solo project of Dutch multi-instrumentalist Devi Hisgen of Marquis and Cthuluminati—seems to attempt exactly this.” Fear as fun.

Phlebotomized – Clouds of Confusion Review

Phlebotomized – Clouds of Confusion Review

“With their resurgence in 2019 with Deformation of Humanity, Dutch progressive death metal sextet[ Phlebotomized reestablished a foothold on the oddball prog-death scene. Combining off-kilter songwriting with dramatic synths and eerie croons didn’t dull the sharp edge of the Dutchmen’s death metal blade, and afforded the band an immediately recognizable identity. Now, the band prepares their next outing, entitled Clouds of Confusion, and with it comes another awesome cover and even MOAR weird death metal.” Blood for the Blood Takers!

Neverus – Burdens of the Earth Review

Neverus – Burdens of the Earth Review

“To any germinating young metal bands reading this, please heed my advice: Don’t attempt what Neverus has done here with your first record. Without so much as a public demo under their belt, this young Dutch act simultaneously revealed themselves and began releasing singles in 2022, culminating in this debut LP, Burdens of the Earth. But it’s not just that Neverus started releasing music with no pent-up hype or a label to back them; it’s that they did so while swinging for the damn fences, sprinting before anyone knew they could even crawl.” The burden of potential.

Haliphron – Prey Review

Haliphron – Prey Review

“Angry Metal Guy, Inc. is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a paradox, like the world’s most mystifying turbriskafil. We both overrate and underrate every single record, according to our commentariat, and we are especially harsh and/or ass-kissing on commercially successful bands. But Arch Enemy has been a common enemy for years now. The condemnation of metal’s blandest headliner is practically uniform; the strongest defense on my last review of theirs amounted to a lone meek “Well I didn’t think it was that bad…” But in the interest of science, it behooves us to check on a control group. Another melodic death metal band with experienced members, female growls, and a bit of tinned symphonics.” Preypare the subject!

¡Pendejo! – Volcán Review

¡Pendejo! – Volcán Review

“’Twas two weeks and change before Christmas, 2018, when I went to see Madder Mortem. The venue turned out to be one of those backrooms behind a cafe, the kind regularly rented for family gatherings and bat mitzvahs and stuff, complete with random sad disco ball. There were 5 bands in total, and the whole thing lasted for 5 goddamn hours because of half-hour breaks. It was a weird and exhausting afternoon into night, and the only good thing until the main act hit the stage was a largely unknown troupe called ¡Pendejo!, who blew me away with a unique brand of brass-infused, Spanish-sung stoner metal.” Latin heat in the street.

Crimson River – Here’s To The End…Again Review

Crimson River – Here’s To The End…Again Review

“I’ll be honest, I went into this review ready to bash this album. Crimson River is a silly name with awkward connotations, the album title doesn’t make any sense and the band’s logo makes them look like an evil tech company from an unproduced 90s Transformers movie. Still, I did my due diligence and spun the thing lest Steel withhold my precious gruel. With the opening Iron Maiden-y guitar notes, my preconceptions vanished like so many wasted years.” Iron water.

Cadaver Shrine – Benighted Desecration Review

Cadaver Shrine – Benighted Desecration Review

“Sunlight can cleanse or heal, but it also burns. The scouring properties of light sear their way into the foreground on Benighted Desecration, the debut full-length from death-doom entity Cadaver Shrine. Just look at the corpse on the album cover, face pointed upward toward the source of its demise. A halo of oppressive brightness envelops the nasty music on this latest of many side projects from Maurice de Jong of Gnaw Their Tongues infamy.” Cult of the Sun.

Soothsayer Orchestra – The Last Black Flower Review

Soothsayer Orchestra – The Last Black Flower Review

“I have a great admiration for the solo creator. Thanks to my attention deficiency disorder, the two tasks I struggle most with are staying motivated and staying organized. The kind of dedication it takes to perform every part of what is ordinarily a team effort seems Herculean to me. Pieter Hendriks (Black Bottle Riot, Born From Pain) has that kind of dedication, though, as The Last Black Flower is his second album as Soothsayer Orchestra, a mere 2 years after the self-titled debut. But does dedication equal quality?” One man, three projects.