“Karpenter plays an Americanized version of the Swedish sound which was foundational to bands like As I Lay Dying, along with the Swedish take on that Americanized Swedish sound which was done by Soilwork and In Flames on Stabbing the Drama, Sworn to a Great Divide, A Sense of Purpose, and Come Clarity. The newest of the above is thirteen years old, the oldest sixteen – Karpenter is an unintentionally hard-hitting commentary on the passage of time.” Sleeping in the past.
“Album length is a point of contention at AMG Headquarters. So around the office cooler one day, the illustrious Carcharodon revealed that his promo was a honkin’ two-hour commitment. I now realize that “Mine’s a nine-minute grind EP! Sucks to be you!” was the wrong thing to say. As a dear Lavagirlbitch to the Sharkboy, he used his power to punish me pick a promo for me. Please direct your hate mail to him for the awkwardly named Everture. I was immediately horrified at the phrase “modern metal” that greeted my eyes.” The Everture will continue until morale improves.
“Modern metalcore is such a tease. For every killer band like While She Sleeps, there’s a dozen more that leave me unmoved. Nonetheless, I always hold out hope that a new metalcore band will show up and blow my balls off, and that’s exactly why I grabbed Primitive from the promo bin.” Madballz.
This post has been removed because it promoted Nazi or Nazi-adjacent metal bands or musicians. We apologize.
“This is it, folks. We spent years telling our kids they were special, years encouraging them to be creative and let their imaginations run wild. No doubt this encouragement led to some fantastic art, but there was certainly some that were lacking. Fortunately, parents or instructors were typically there to steer these budding musicians along, telling them gently to ‘try something else’ or ‘maybe play soccer instead.’ But of course, there were always a few that slipped through the cracks.” Bad moon rising.
“Artery Recordings. We meet again. Your last release featured on this website was one of the great crimes against humanity in recent times. And now you have the cheek to submit another promo to us?! Us with our objective opinions and devout obstinacy towards all forms of metalcore?! And them with those hipster haircuts?! Someone get these guys a tombstone, I’m about to shred them.” Trouble’s abrewin’.
“It seems misogynistic violence is on trend in metalcore. Feed Her to the Sharks led the aquatic way with Zombies Ate My Girlfriend chomping in its wake, both exacting satisfying chugs and saccharine melodies unto the metal public in a reasonable throwback to the All That Remains– or Bullet For My Valentine-dominated scene from the mid-’00s. Now Shark Infested Daughters steps up to invoke unpleasant images of ravaged women with their debut, These Tides, Our Tombs.” Please don’t feed the freakin’ sharks!
“In all honesty, I grabbed Isolation – the Kansas City quartet’s third full length since forming in 2005 – fully expecting to hate it. After all the great albums that landed in my lap recently, low-brow electronica/metalcore seemed like an interesting change of pace, and while I get 95% of our readership probably despises this music, I did my best to go into Isolation with an open mind.” Masochism is alive at AMG.
“Look, I get it: ‘metalcore’ is a dirty word in the metal community. Telling a bunch of underground metalheads that you like metalcore is the equivalent of painting a big scarlet letter right between your set of Fred Durst nipple rings. And while I agree the genre has its shortcomings, I can’t help but enjoy it nonetheless. Part of it’s because this is the music I grew up with – sure, there’s lots of emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs, but they’re my emo choruses and re-purposed Gothenburg riffs!” We have a Core infection in Sector 6!
“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG. So here we are to re-hash a record from our past that (some of us) love that everyone else seems to have soured on (or never liked in the first place).” This one is even more indefensible than usual!
