Angry Metal Guy

Wow, it’s been a long time and you’ve all been waiting patiently. So here’s my 20-11 of the best heavy metal songs of all time. If you’re in desperate need of an update as to what else we’ve posted, here are some links: Mine: 50-41, 40-31, 31-20 and Steel Druhm’s: 50-41, 40-31, 30-21, 20-11.

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Doc Coyle from God Forbid posted a really interesting blog over at Metal Sucks which I recommend everyone go and read right now. Now sure, Doc isn’t a modern day philosopher, but what he is is about one year older than I am. And he’s also someone that this Angry Metal Guy can really agree with on several points. I, too, have recently gone through this “I’m getting old,” thing, when I realize that I’m meeting people who were born in years I remember—”Oh, 1988, huh? Yeah, well, shit Seventh Son of a Seventh Son came out that year! My brother got it for Christmas!” I get added on MySpace by people who were born the year that I was an angsty teenager who listening to Life of Agony and Type O Negative and pretending I was miserable. Or really being miserable I guess.

One of the points that Doc makes, however, that I would like to rebutt is basically saying that old guys get sorta stuck. I don’t think that’s entirely true. What I think happens is that the novelty starts to wear off after a while. And so every time you hear a new band you can say something like “Well, shit, that’s just an _insert band here_ riff, why not go listen to the original?” I find myself doing that all the time. I think the other thing that happens is that our tastes start to mature in the sense that we start to understand things better. We all know that metal is music for musicians, but when you’re 18 and knockin’ out riffs to whatever it is that you’re knockin’ out, you’re not thinking about the trends or what’s going on before you, etc. More importantly, you know nothing about record production, the trends you’re being subjected to and so forth. You probably haven’t realized that metal is just commercial music, so you’re not thinking about things critically. But as you get older you get more cynical. You see excellent bands who don’t pass in the current trend passed over by labels consistently, while shitty trend bands get picked up. You hear every band replace the fuck out of their drums and you notice that everything sounds fake and lifeless.

But not only that, you’ve seen what’s cool in the underground before.. sometimes in reality! For example: sure, I was a kid, but I got Metallica‘s Kill ‘Em All as a bribe when I was 7 or 8 years old to not tell my parents that my brother had ditched me at home with his weird, antisocial buddy. I listened to Testament and Slayer and non-stop Iron Maiden while kids in my age group wet themselves over flannel-clad suicidal douchebags with bad habits and now that all the kids are in neo-thrash and neo-NWoBHM bands, I have trouble thinking “Hey, this is exciting!” ‘Cause I heard it when I was younger. I loved it then. It influenced my taste in music and my guitar playing, writing, etc. Why would I as the old guy (28) I am get excited about people reliving a scene that’s been super done already once?

One final thought: while lots of metalheads are really metalheads for life, there are a large number of kids who get into metal during those topsy turvey years of 13-19 and then when the hormones die down, they go back to listening to Weezer (or I guess Muse now? I dunno, what’s hip people?). These people have no context when they’re being young, energetic and super into it. They weren’t listening to metal as kids and they’re not going to be listening to metal when they’re older. It’s just not gonna happen. As an old guy you have every right to get cynical and shake your cane at shit that sucks—especially when it’s driven by kids with no critical thinking skills, no context and not a lick of sense. Just like we were when we were moshing crazy at shows, screaming at the top of our lungs and trying our hardest to get the hormones to just calm the fuck down.

Want some shit to shake your new found Old Metal Cane™ at? How about God Forbid getting grouped in with metalcore when you guys are obviously a fucking thrash metal band. Get at it! And welcome to adulthood.

Charred Walls of the Damned // Charred Walls of the Damned
Rating: 3.0/5.0 — Music is really great, but the vocals just kill this record for me
Label: Metal Blade
Website: charredwallsofthedamned.com
Release Dates: EU: 29.01.2010 | US: 02.01.2010

Charred Walls of the Damned has two distinct honors from the get-go: not only is it the longest band name EVER, but it’s also the first thing in which excellent drummer Richard Christy has surfaced in since going to the Howard Stern show and leaving American power metallers Iced Earth in the dust. I think everyone was wondering when he was going to jump back into metal, myself included. It’s hard to imagine that the former Death and Iced Earth drummer was just going to leave everything behind. Given his background it was only a matter of time. And not just his background: homeboy has contacts, too! He brings with him the mighty Jason Suecof, mostly known for his production (Trivium, Luna Mortis, God Forbid and so on), but who is also a fucking wicked ass guitar player (seriously, dude can shred). On bass, of course, is the mighty Steve DiGiorgio who played with Christy in Iced Earth and Death. How can this project possibly lose?

To answer that question, enter vocalist Tim “Ripper” Owens. I have a bit of a grudge against this guy—and it’s not because of the fact that he replaced any big vocalists. I gave him a chance in both Judas Priest and Iced Earth and I have come to a conclusion: he was never meant for a vocal life beyond cover bands. His voice is thin and his tone is really frustrating, but most of all his phrasing is really terrible and he borders on torturous because his vibrato is so wide that he goes flat, so his harmonies just send shudders up my spine. He is not the dude who should be doing vocals on this record and it is an absolute shame.

The reason it’s a shame is pretty simple: the music on this record is awesome traditional/power metal. Christy’s writing and playing are unparalleled and I love the blending between the death metal style blasting on which the album starts, and the more straight metal that pounds out throughout the album. The guitars, of course, are fantastic and Suecof is a star, ripping it up with the best and giving some of the coolest arpeggiation (that’s right, Angry Metal Guy likes to verb!) and harmonies that I’ve heard and Steve DiGiorgio is Steve DiGiorgio: probably the best bass player in metal.

So I have good news for fans of Ripper Owens, which there are some out there, this is unequivocally the best project he’s ever been involved with. The song writing is awesome, the band is tight and powerful and if you’re a fan of his vocals then you will absolutely love this album. If, however, you’re like me you will feel a great sense of grief  coupled with anger every time he opens his mouth. Because instead of adding power to the arrangements and making this record what it should be, he basically adds a generally frustrating, tuneless siren over every song. I’m going to give this record a 3/5 because I think that it deserves the respect for the musical content in spite of the vocal performance.. but man, I personally can’t fathom why anyone would ever use him as a vocalist.