“Once upon a time there was a Muppet. Muppet told me of this band called Atlases, threatening me with an unforgiving death if I didn’t try out their debut full-length, Haar, which came out last year. I never did try the whole thing until now, but the selection of tracks I did sample were solid. Then, one day I noticed their name in the promo bin, and I thought to myself, “what are the odds?” So here we are, with a quick turnaround by the Finnish five-banger. Is Woe Portrait good enough to earn a recommendation from me and my ridiculously productive multitude of alter egos on this power-metal-obsessed blog?” Map of sadboi.
In Mourning
Turtle Skull – Monoliths Review
“While other monoliths stagnate in dark and gloomy dimensions, Australian quintet Turtle Skull prefers to rely on bright and sunny desert safaris with their unique brand of metal, dubbed “flower doom.”” Smell the doom.
Angry Metal Guy’s Top Ten(ish) o’ 2019
I’m a big fan of the D&D-themed webcomic Order of the Stick. As the comic became a true phenomenon a decade ago and its author Rich Burlew became increasingly in demand, he began drawing himself looking more disheveled with every self-portrait. In the introduction to the most recently released book, his self-portrait is wearing sweatpants, has unkempt hair and looks about ready to fall over. That is a feeling I viscerally share. Or, as the kids say in 2019: IT ME!
Record(s) o’ the Month – October 2019
I’ve been known to throw the occasional curve ball, but I think three Record(s) o’ the Month(s) in one month is the first time I’ve ever pulled this particular caper. But Angry Metal Guy is never late. Nor is he early. He does what he’s doing precisely at the moment he intends to do it. For reasons that are his own (but are mostly fuck you). This month’s Record(s) o’ the Month is dedicated to all the people who like music for “atmosphere.” Of course, you might as well say that you “like whatever, so long as it has a good beat.” But the way you’re doing it is way more trve and garners you less friends and so much metal cred. I thought I’d help you all out by giving you a handful of bands that can write and (gasp) edit songs!
In Mourning – Garden of Storms Review
“I’ve heard it said many a time that In Mourning carry the torch that Opeth “abandoned” with the release of Heritage. I don’t happen to agree with that statement. Sure, superficially the Swedish prog-melo-death-doom quintet share something in common with Blackwater Park-era Opeth, but it was clear to me from the first minute of the indelible Monolith that In Mourning were an entirely different collective, a point that each subsequent release reinforced.” Mourning frost on the Great Pumpkin.
V – Led into Exile Review
“V, a doomy post-metal band from Sweden, released their first album Pathogenisis in 2017 and are back this year with a six-track concept album. Inspired by a short story concerning the departure from the hustle and bustle of civilization into the wild and remote Finnmark in Dalecarlia, Sweden, Led into Exile chronicles a story of the hardships of living in Finnmark, a will to be secluded from the rest of the world’s insanity, and the ultimate disappearance of one who surrendered to the siren song drifting from the taiga-belt.” Lost in the woods.
Sunless Dawn – Timeweaver Review
“While I dislike music competitions as much as anyone, there’s something to be said for the worldwide Metal Battle program, involving 27 countries and hundreds of fledgling bands. Organized by Wacken, you can at least trust there will be no significant genre bias, unlike general music competitions. And while winners may be to your taste or not, they can always be deemed competent at the very least. Sunless Dawn won the 2016 Denmark Metal Battle, but it took them until now to release their debut, the hour-long progressive behemoth that is Timeweaver.” Greater Danes.
Gaia – Aerial Review
“I like reviewing underdogs. Every now and then you run into an album that seems to have everything against it, yet a nagging feeling remains that if they just do everything right, it might be lightning in a bottle. Enter Gaia, brainchild of young multi-instrumentalist Abhiruk Patowary from New Delhi.” Open bottle, prepare for shocks.
Loss – Horizonless Review
“It’s been said that “when the gods want to punish you, they answer your prayers.” I first came upon Loss and their brand of unrelenting funeral death-doom back in 2011 when Steel matched wits against the almighty Despond. Prior to this, I’d never been exposed to anything that sounded so grudgingly drawn out or so full of crushing personal failure. It mesmerized me! Not the funeral doom genre itself, but rather the arresting approach specifically promulgated by Loss. It’s been six years since Despond, and lo and behold, Loss are gifting us with a new experience aptly titled Horizonless.” Feel the pain of Loss.
Sentient Ignition – Enthroned in Gray Review
“Sentient Ignition burst onto the death metal circuit one year ago, dropping a two-track demo that caught the ears of everyone from MetalSucks to Toilet Ov Hell. Mixing melody, technical skill, and progressive intent, the demo delivered a product equal parts surprise and success. Enthroned in Gray is now tasked with living up to expectations set dangerously high for a band whose career spans 15 minutes and 52 seconds.” The confidence of youth and the wankiness of tech-death.