“Windshield time also gives me the chance to re-explore my favorite albums. I rarely listen to new promos on the road. This time is dedicated to albums from the Road Gods. Give me something bluesy, something rocking, something upbeat, something I can blare with windows down and my foot inching closer to the floor. Give me something I can scream at the top of my lungs and shift gears to. The simpler, the better. The groovier, the sweeter.” Jesus repossessed your hot rod.
“Hysterical bravely sets about to chronicle the worst of nu-metal’s many issues and combine them into a nugget so devoid of anything enjoyable it almost wraps back round to depressive suicidal black metal. Just without the black metal.” 2020 right now.
“I’m gonna level with all you. I own a Godsmack album. OK, fuck… I own two. But it wasn’t my fault. Where (and when) I grew up, the internet was barely a thing and censorship was real. And I don’t mean the Denver/Snider/Zappa type of censoring (though that existed, too). In my religious hometown, music is sold in the next town over, at Walmart. Which meant there weren’t many options. It was a time when possessing censored versions of Korn, Staind, Godsmack, Slipknot, and (fuck me, again) Nickelback records was rebellious.” The Devil’s photograph!
“Bands like Hypocrisy and Dark Tranquillity were like gateway drugs for me. I remember getting heavy into the style about a decade ago and then it seemed to run its course. And, as most of my favorite bands carry on with run-of-the-mill material, while others—like Soilwork, Arch Enemy, and In Flames—continue to bore me to fucking death, it’s become even more clear that I’ve fallen away from the genre. So, in hopes of rekindling some of those flames, I grabbed Parasite Inc.’s Dead and Alive. What the hell was I thinking?” The Doc has worms.
“I don’t often jump into a review without even a smidgen prior knowledge of a band or genre. Usually, armed with a fine-toothed comb and a cuppa, I’ll spend hours entering a band from the promo list into ol’ Encyclopaedia Metallum researching them. Making Sophie’s choice is usually tough — I never want to do a band a disservice by not researching or placing myself confidently within their musical world. However, all the promo for the next month was already selfishly taken by my fellow staff members and so, feeling like a lonely Zoidberg in ‘Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?’ I settled for the Los Angeles-based progressive hard rock and metal band Hyvmine (a purposeful misspelling of hive-mind).” NU LA Land.
“Hinder. Depending on your familiarity with modern rock radio, you’re either asking who the hell they are or why in Jørn’s name we’re reviewing them. For the former, the term “Nickelback-lite” is all you need to know. For the latter, it all started when Madam X presented The Reign as “good hard rock,” inciting a discussion about who was familiar with these Oklahoma natives. With a sideways glance and a quivering lower lip, I stepped forward and sheepishly announced to the group: ‘I… I have known this band.'” Confessions, interventions and hard rock.
“We the People, in order to form a more perfect union, certainly never planned for Sir Russell Allen to continue his New York/New Jersey nu-metal groove project Adrenaline Mob this long. In fact, with this third album inbound, things are bordering on a violation of listeners’ basic rights and freedoms. I’ve covered their previous outings of throwback hard rock and nu-metal, yet I remain at a loss why Mr. Allen is so enamored with this numb-skull style of pablum made infamous by Disturbed, Godsmack and Nickelback.” Careers in waste management.
“Umm, I’ll be honest with you. I really wasn’t looking forward to this album. As much as I worship Sir Russell Allen (Symphony X, Allen/Lande) and his golden pipes of steel, I really hate this hard rock/nu-metal side project he has going on with friends. Their Omerta debut was a painfully shallow, cringe-inducing foray into Disturbed styled nu-metal mixed with grungy barroom rock and it really didn’t work, even with Allen on vocals and Little Lord Mike Portnoy (ex-Dream Theater, Liquid Tension Experiment) on drums.” The Mob is back again. Do they rule yet?
Killing Saw? That must be recording industry jargon for “career ending album.”
It’s been a long time since a sort of standard modern rock or traditional metal band really showed off anything that this Angry Metal Guy appreciated. For the most part, modern rock has been rehashed BS and overrated post-Seattle scene leftovers. The bands that have tried to convert their sounds (see: the remnants of Guns N’ Roses meets STP or Europe’s latest incarnation) have really failed at it because the sound is, at its root, boring as hell. Rehashing rock again with thicker guitar tone and a vocalist who will never live up to the classics is pretty much a good way to guarantee that your vocalist buddy goes to rehab, but not much more. Whatever happened to Buckcherry again? Oh right. Flash in the effing pan.
