“Yakuza over the course of their 20-plus year career explore through the duality of reverent and incendiary identities how sound too can transform through iteration. Having not yet graced the halls of AMG, and generally living on the outside of the metal limelight, Yakuza‘s hazily hypnotic, startlingly shredded, and warped woodwind take on metal will catch you off guard. Sutra will help you find the light.” C’mon Sutra.
“No, this album has nothing to do with our favorite sponge friend. Yes, this album has everything to do with FOUR angry Canadians now that KEN mode has promoted Kathryn Kerr, a one-woman wrecking ball of saxophone, synth, and piano prowess, previously guest-credited on 2018’s Loved. Did you think that KEN mode would go full saxcore after that experimental sludgeball? Well, I bet your 2022 bingo card is all kinds of fucked up at this point, so let’s make this one easy: KEN mode—or more accurately, primary bleeding heart Jesse Matthewson—hated the past couple years and it shows.” No dream house for you!
“Misanthur was listed as “trance ambient noise” in the cold boundaries of the promo dump and just plain black metal on other sites. Truthfully, both are true. What this Polish duo offers is a hyper-atmospheric breed of black metal with heavy electronic and industrial flourishes, not unlike a blackened version of C R O W N’s latest, The End of All Things.” Kitchen sink-core.
“Unlike the other bands featured in these Retro-spective reviews, New York’s own Riot is a seminal, long running and well known act. Slogging away since 1977, they released classic albums like Rock City and Fire Down Under. So why are they included here you ask? Well, one of their albums seems to have been lost in time and forgotten even though I regard it as their best by far. That album is, or course, 1988’s Thundersteel.” Steel on Steel.
“Overrated. That’s the most recent Twitter post I saw about Painkiller, the specimen of metallic glory that is thirty years olde now. Listen, this album is only overrated if you rank it at the very top of Judas Priest’s long and glorious discography; however, it is most certainly amongst their best albums, and amongst the best that the heavy metalverse had to offer in 1990. And as 2020 draws to a slow and painful close, we can all use some Painkiller to help us get through these last few weeks. Let’s take a look back at this album, and see just why it deserves some extra attention.” PAIN!
“Anthems, man. Big, beefy, brainless metal anthems. We all love em, and there are some bands born to churn em out. Primal Fear is at the front of that mob, throwing elbows and spilling cheap beer on posers. Unsurprisingly, lucky album 13, the cringe-inducing yet righteously titled Metal Commando is another big ball o’ metal anthems.” Metal forces.
“Some ideas sound great in theory. Fewer look good when put to paper. That crucial step of transforming an idea from paper into reality? Well, let’s just say only the best of the bunch should see the harsh light of day. Taking three of metal’s premier wailers and screamers and having them lustily compete with one another for an album’s worth of over-the-top manic hysteria is not such a worthy concept. Aptly named The Three Tremors, this project features Tim “Ripper” Owens (ex-Judas Priest, ex-Iced Earth), Harry “The Tyrant” Conklin (Jag Panzer, Satan’s Host), and Sean (no cool nickname) Peck (Cage, Denner/Sherman).” Banshee business.
“Look, I get it. Manimal isn’t a great band name. Hell, it isn’t even a good one. But for once, I need you overly judgmental metal hacks to look past that and keep whatever passes for an open mind round these parts. Highly dubious moniker aside, Manimal is a talented Euro-power band with the good sense to graft a ton of traditional metal akin to Judas Priest’s Painkiller to their sound for extra muscle.” From Garanimal to Manimal.
“On March 9th, Judas Priest will release their 18th album, Firepower. This makes it the ideal time to take a long wistful look back over their historic catalog and rank their albums from worst to first according to the esteemed tastes of me, Lord Protector Steel.” Here comes the metal countdown, run for your lives!
“It’s a brand new year – a fresh beginning for all of our personal stories and a clean, blank slate for metal music. Now is the time to take risks, to be daring, to innovate. Just kidding, it’s actually time for the 17th goddamn album of monochromatic meat n’ taters metal from the unstoppable Germanic horde called Grave Digger.” Well, that de-escalated quickly.
