Saliva

Trillionaire – Romulus Review

Trillionaire – Romulus Review

“Now my questions are more pointed, such as what specific right is protected by what’s often called the Lumley v Gye tort. When I was in my first year, I couldn’t envision asking such a question. Two and one-half academic years later, I’ve got more questions than answers. Adding to this litany of questions is one that has nothing to do with law, philosophy, hamburgers, Live in Leipzig, beer, or any of those things I frequently write about. This question is as follows: what would happen if The Haunted circa Unseen wanted to make something like newer Thrice and Saliva?” Socratic disaster.

Wrestling – Ride on Freaks Review

Wrestling – Ride on Freaks Review

“Few metal bands use wrestling as a conceptual driving force and I don’t know why. It has everything a band needs to produce chaotic, vibrant, wildly imaginative music. Well, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, weighing over a thousand pounds for sure (five members), hailing from Oulu, Finland, please welcome old school heavy-metal body-slammers Wrestling. They’re here to bust your spine and insult your mothers with their speedy mix of Accept and Judas Priest on Ride on Freaks, their debut release.” Sweat and regret.

Shotgun Rodeo – By Hook or by Crook Review

Shotgun Rodeo – By Hook or by Crook Review

“My first hard rock record was Saliva’s Survival of the Sickest. I don’t mean that it was the first thing that could be lumped into the hard rock category that I’d ever heard—far from it—but that record gave me—then just into my teens—that missing bridge between classic rock and heavy metal. I could listen to both at the same time by throwing it on, hearing rock n’ roll played by a band who still had the nu-metal swagger of their early days. That link between genres is exactly what I look for in hard rock, and it seems that the Norwegians in Shotgun Rodeo think the same way.” Rock the bulls.

Project Theory – Something between Us Review

Project Theory – Something between Us Review

“Given that I have a great relationship with my father, didn’t get bullied in high school, and don’t hate my hometown, my qualifications to review nu-metal are basically nil. Alas, I’ve made my superiors here rather upset in some way, shape, or form and have been duly saddled with a Greek nu-metal opus in the form of Project Theory’s Something between Us.” Ouch.

Secret Rule – Machination Review

Secret Rule – Machination Review

“Remember Amaranthe? Say what you want about them as a metal band (which, if you’re being six figure tax return levels of charitable, would be “not so great”), but as a pop band they’re alright. Massive Addictive was catchy, regardless of the fact that it was meticulously crafted by Swedish pop robots, made of 100% candy-coated processed cheese, and equal in substance to a sugar rush. Italy’s Secret Rule is pure processed cheese too.” Cheese and sugar go together like dynamite and napalm.