“This being a Kronos feature, I must first launch into a brief and hateful tirade against an absurd and laughably incompetent enemy. Towards that end, I’d like to alert an Angry Metal Guy staffer that we are now officially beefin’. And that staffer is… 2015 Kronos.” War inside his head.
“I’ve been hitting the backspace key a lot as I’m writing my Top Ten(ish). Not because of a lack of anything witty to say, or a sheepishness of my selections. No, rather it’s because I’m of two minds as I type this.” Two minds, but only one weighty list!
“It’s the new year! And that means new starts. What’s going to be new with the Record(s) o’ the Month in 2016? Well, pretty much nothing. I plan to be just as opinionated, stubborn, and unreliable as I can be. Because now I have Unimpeachable Scientific Proof™ that my choices are pretty much fucking representative of the choices of the entire staff at Angry Metal Guy. Yeah, sure, some people might not agree with me all the time, but in aggregate—which as we know from the rise of Big Data and the Technocratic Rule is the only data that matters—my opinion is still trend-setting and all-important. Put that in your pipe and smoke it I Give a 4.0 to Everything That Reeks of Nostalgia and Desperation Druhm. So my wimpy prog choices? Yeah, they’re gonna keep coming. My not caring about the newest super true Demilich clone? Oh, it will continue. My total disinterest in anyone’s opinion but my own? Yup, that’s the whole point of this blog.”
“Gomorrah struck like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky. Slated for a mid-January release date on the not-exactly-major-label Test Your Metal Records, The Haruspex got overlooked in an administrative snafu. As luck would have it, I am nothing if not diligent about my hoarding of new music. And when I popped Gomorrah’s The Haruspex on I knew that we’d missed something good.[1. On the topic of haruspices, I need to fire mine, because I didn’t know this was coming out.] I put out a general alert to the staff, trying to get someone to review this very-nearly-overlooked record and in the time I was waiting I’d managed to listen to it twice.”
