The Rolling Stones

Sede Vacante – Conium Review

By El Cuervo on November 3, 2022 in Reviews, Gothic Metal, Symphonic Metal, 15 comments

“Certain assumptions will be made about gothic/symphonic metal bands. They will be fronted by a woman. They will prioritize strings as the most important melodic instrument. They will be Finnish. In the case of Sede Vacante and their sophomore release entitled Conium, these are at least partly right. You’ll note the female singer centralized in the band photo below. Strings do indeed feature. But the one sheet informs me that the band is both Finnish and Greek. What a revelation! Dusk aspiration.

The Atomic Bitchwax – Scorpio Review

By GardensTale on August 27, 2020 in Reviews, Hard Rock, Stoner Metal, 9 comments

“If there was ever a year that demanded a new The Atomic Bitchwax record, it was 2020. Between the chain of climate-related and man-made disasters, the slow implosion of politics around the world and the pandemic, we can do with a burst of stupid, fun, high octane stoner rock, and if any band can deliver on that, it’s the terrible trio.” Giving 2020 the Wax.

Hot Lunch – Seconds Review

By GardensTale on March 16, 2019 in 2019, American Metal, Hard Rock, Proto-Metal, Reviews, Tee Pee Records, Stoner Metal, 67 comments

“Proto-metal is a bit of a strange moniker to apply to modern-day bands. The “proto” prefix literally means “first” or “common ancestor,” so linguistically it makes little sense to apply it to any band past 1975. Yet with the popularity of everything retro, plenty of bands try to recreate that pre-metal hard rock sound that laid the foundations of our favorite genre. Hot Lunch are as proto as proto gets, despite first appearing with their self-titled debut in 2013. With the sophomore slab, appropriately titled Seconds, can they function as the time machine they aim to be?” Back to the past and future.

Mark Z.’s and L. Saunders’ Top Ten of 2018

By Mark Z. on December 22, 2018 in 2018, Blog Posts, Lists, 126 comments

More lists for the list machine! The men who unwisely go by their real names, Mark Z. and L. Saunders boldly proclaim their best albums of 2018.

Lucifer – Lucifer II Review

By Ferrous Beuller on July 17, 2018 in 2018, Century Media, Doom Metal, German Metal, Hard Rock, Occult Rock, Reviews, Occult Rock, 37 comments

“Now is the summer of my discontent. Not only because the sun incessantly threatens to ignite my beard, but having reviewed too much of one thing, the urge to consume an entirely different animal has reared its ugly head. Borne atop a moldering mound of lesser reviewers by those most metal of saints, I spied a beckoning light in the recesses of the perdition manifest we affectionately call the promo pit. Said bastion was none other than German-based doom/rock act, Lucifer, and their compactly titled second album, Lucifer II.” The Devil you should get to know.

FireForce – Annihilate the Evil Review

By Dr. A.N. Grier on September 3, 2017 in 2017, Belgian Metal, Limb Music, Power Metal, Reviews, Power Metal, 29 comments

“Like Sabaton, Belgium’s FireForce focuses all their energy around battles come-and-gone, the bravery of the few, and the historical instances that led to war. With two albums under their belt, this five-piece is back with another history lesson. This time on Greece’s Oxi Day, the Danevirke, the infamous Iron Brigade, and much more. So, come along, dweebs. School’s in session. Grab your Thermos and knapsack, it’s time to get learneded.” The professor is a doctor.

Saturn – Beyond Spectra Review

By GardensTale on March 27, 2017 in 2017, Heavy Metal, Proto-Metal, Reviews, Rise Above Records, Swedish Metal, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, 33 comments

“I was raised on classic rock. My three favorite albums as a 7 year old were To You by Dutch blues rockers Brainbox, Aqualung by Jethro Tull and In Rock by Deep Purple. I heard the phrase “Aren’t you a little young for that?” so often in conversation, hearing it on the street didn’t even surprise me when someone caught me whistling “Stairway to Heaven” or wearing a Deep Purple shirt. That love laid the foundations for where I am in music today, and it never went away. But while a lot of bands these days harken back to the age of hippies and vinyl, not many of them manage to truly nail the sound. Swedish rockers Saturn are among the minority.” Rock in an old place.

Hail Spirit Noir – Oi Magoi Review

By Grymm on February 13, 2014 in 2014, Avante Garde, Black Metal, Code666 Records, Greek Metal, Progressive Metal, Reviews, Black Metal, 13 comments

“Are you sick and tired of getting your evil delivered to you in cold, icy, frost-bitten care packages from Norway? Does your black heart sink when there’s too much treble in your diet? Do you lack the strength to pick up those juicy invisible oranges you once craved? Sometimes, you just want Satan’s message to be delivered in a nice, toasty-warm basket with some fresh bread, a bottle of wine, and a couple of aromatic cigars.” And that’s where Hail Spirit Noir comes in. It’s time for a cozy brunch date with the Dark Lord.