“It’s not exactly a secret that I hate you humanity and love King Apathy, so when I was presented with the opportunity to review the debut act of a band featuring Matthias S of King Apathy and ascribing to the same neo Cattle Decapitation lyrical teachings, it should come to roughly no one’s surprise that I squealed like a mildly surprised Kenword jumped at the chance to do so. This was a wish come true.” Wish or curse?
“As a pledged and proud purveyor of pessimism and particularly powerful pieces ov post-black pain, it’s probably presumed by you plebs that this puppet perceives positivity and pleasure as pointless and pathetic, practically on par with such unpalatable practices as publicly popping pimples or pooping in the pool. Well, be proud, you presumptuous phucks poopyheads: you’re right. Everything sucks and it’s all your fault. It’s hard for a Muppet to make much meaning of mankind’s minute moments of mirth when there’s just so much wrong with the world. I could go on forever about how humans are just the absolute fucking worst, but it wouldn’t sound anywhere near as glorious as King Apathy’s latest sonic assessment of the essential suckiness of our species. So, in the interest of avoiding my transforming into a velvety Lewis Black, let’s rant talk write about that instead.” And this guy thinks the SCORE he’s giving these guys is the thing that’s gonna get him fired…
“I picked Groza from the promo bin for one simple reason: Mgla is a great fucking band, and Groza share their name with Mgla’s debut album. That’s not by accident, either. The promo blurb that accompanied Unified in Void was frank in its admission of Mgla influence, leaving me quite excited to hear what this German quartet had to offer.” Choose the form of the Destroyer.
“Bonjour tristesse: hello sadness. Nathanael — the bassist, guitarist, and lyricist for Thränenkind (who are now King Apathy) and Heretoir — focuses his attention on the oppressive realities of existing within depressing, lonely and bitter industrial societies.” Cities at night.
“A demon’s skull, shattered via a bullet between the eyes. America’s Demon Hunter certainly have some blunt imagery, and aren’t shy whatsoever about their faith. I don’t mind being preached at, being a fan of Rage Against the Machine and their absurdist politics and Behemoth’s cool death metal saturated with Satanic sophistry, so Demon Hunter’s blatant Christianity doesn’t bother me a whit.” White metal matters.
The lists keep coming and the choices are getting stranger. Now Mark Z. and Diabolus in Muzaka get the spotlight for their Top Tens. Follow along and take copious notes if you know what’s good for you.
“Sometimes the way you first experience an album is everything. Back in 2013, after finally returning from an extended work trip where I had limited internet access (and thus, no ability to hear new metal releases), Thränenkind’s The Elk took my deprived ears by storm with its Agallochian mix of weepy post-rock and crusty post-black metal. After months of only listening to whatever -core was stored on my iPod at the time, I was captivated, and the German quintet’s debut ended up being one of my favorite albums that year. Three years later sees me in an entirely different set of circumstances.” Stop the presses!
