“F is for friends who do stuff together. U is for u Kronos and me. N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the rad-soaked sea. Fuck that! F is for fire that burns down the whole town! U is for uranium…. BOMBS! N is for no survivors, when you listen to Nuklearth!” Containment is for posers.
“Are you ready for a hot take? I enjoy deeply of Exocrine’s Molten Giant. Regardless of the criticisms it received in the linked review, I return to that record still, twenty-two months after it’s initial release. Tight, jagged and delightfully choppy, Exocrine delivered a big sleeper with Molten Giant. It looked like stock tech-death, sounded like stock tech-death, and stepped on just about every mine littering the tech-death field. Yet, it put a big, stupid grin on my big, stupid face.” Squid pro quo.
“Well, I guess the Pope is a zombie now. Admit it, you all saw that coming. A religious leader, let alone one that wields as much influence as the head of the Catholic Church? Come on. Whatever, that’s a tangent for another time. For now, let’s talk about the second full-length album by Mental Cruelty, named Inferis.” Popecore.
“Exactly once a year, on an undisclosed and constantly shifting date, Unique Leader puts out a killer death metal record. Think about it. Last year I heaped praise on Cytotoxin’sGammageddon. Frankly, it smacks of conspiracy. I have no idea what the label stands to gain from this strategy of randomly inserting quality product among a dozen bags of Drano, but this Skinner box of brutality does keep me coming back to the alley in the hopes that the next record I pick up from them will be the one that’s allowed to shine. Molten Giant never stood a chance.” SKINNER!!
“Ah, Unique Leader records, what would we do without you? I’d certainly be out an unpaid reviewing job, and I’m sure Par Olafsson and Zack Ohren would see a lot less business. Tirades and drinking games notwithstanding, I’m always game to snatch up Unique Leader Records next release, and in this case it’s the sophomore effort from Sacramento-based Alterbeast.” Tech-death pong.
“Having generated quite the buzz with their debut album thanks, in no small part, to the reputation of frontman, Dr. Nick Vasallo, whose legacy as musical professor, composer extraordinaire and deathcore wizard continues to precede him, expectations were set justifiably high.” The path to tech-wank.
“Another day, another release from Unique Leader; yet there is no release for me. As the de facto tech-death guru at the AMG offices, I’m caught in a near perpetual state of mild frustration as streams of 16th notes tickle my cochleae and bearded men scream putrid nothings into my ear. While the year thus far has been pretty kind to the genre, Sturgeon’s law is still in effect, and Deceptionist’s debut, Initializing Irreversible Process, is my latest helping of the caviar of middlingness.” Somebody needs a staycation.
“Here at Angry Metal Guy, we love Fleshgod Apocalypse. Well, maybe not love… and sometimes not even very much like. It’s a complicated relationship. But one thing we can agree on is that Oracles is kickass. Its sultry fusion of tech-death and neoclassicism was a winning move that everyone, including Fleshgod Apocalypse somehow failed to follow up on properly. But of course, there are those few who malign such progressive elements, and thus ask the question, “What would this band sound like if they just wrote death metal?”” Kronos asks the hard questions and then answers them.
“What with the subtle consumer advice regarding one Ethereal Shroud album and Angry Metal Guy’s upcoming (and doubtless gushing) review of the new Trials disc, you may have noticed a theme on our brave little blog: blatant conflict of interest. Never one to miss out on a shameful trend, I’ve decided hop aboard the choo-choo of duplicity and perform an honest, above-the-board review for the completely unaffiliated French brutes in Kronos.” AMG: avoiding the mere appearance of impropriety in favor of flagrant impropriety.
“Most of the time, technical death and progressive death pretty much go hand in hand. Anyone with the chops to play at breakneck speeds and shred with the best of them will want to show off not just their technical skill, but their ability to bring something new to the table, and this mentality has only gained adherents as the style has flourished. But occasionally there arises a group of musicians who want nothing more than to play in the style of Cannibal Corpse but do it at twice the speed. That’s where Omnihility fits into the picture.” Kronos continues his campaign to review every tech-death act on the Unique Leader roster. FIGHT!
