Whispered

Serenity in Murder – The Eclipse [Things You Might Have Missed 2017]

Serenity in Murder – The Eclipse [Things You Might Have Missed 2017]

“There’s a special little subcategory of my year-end list this year that I’m tentatively dubbing “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Finnish!” With much of that country’s melodeath old guard either disbanded, commercialized, or in an ongoing slump, it makes sense that other countries are picking up the slack. And one of the finest examples of the faux-Finn sound you’ll hear this year comes straight from Japan.” Japan to the rescue.

Vorgrum – Last Domain Review

Vorgrum – Last Domain Review

“Somewhere along my personal timeline of listening to extreme music I formed an imaginary line dividing two equally valid camps of folk metal. On one side, you have your bands of brooding boys who like to pose next to frozen streams for their promo shots in between discussions of just how great Windir was; on the other, you have your gangs of drunken revelers, crowding into the nearest tavern to relate raucous tales of wenches and trolls to any half-willing passersby.” Is that a troll on the cover or are you just happy to see me?

Whispered – Metsutan: Songs of the Void Review

Whispered – Metsutan: Songs of the Void Review

“Remember when Tom Cruise got cast as The Last Samurai in 2003? Some people on the Internet really do, and take time out of what must be a rich and fulfilling life to vomit up prose so salty it gives Dutch licorice a run for its money. Naturally it’s made into a sociopolitical issue, but I’m going to leave that alone because I’m not a fifth-rate hack who feels compelled to use the metal blog I write for as a soapbox to spew typo-laden opinions on contemporary politics and the like. Anyway, Mr. Cruise remained The Last Samurai for about a year, because in 2004 Finnish Samurai metal band Whispered came into existence.” Eat it, Tommy!