Today Wintersun announced the grand opening of their own branded micro-hotel, giving fans a chance to stay in the actual studio where the band is recording their long awaited new album. The micro-hotel, dubbed Anna Meille Rahaa Luuserit, can accommodate 15 guests. A weekend reservation goes for $5,000 and covers two nights in a luxurious plastic box with a window looking into the band’s infamously crowdfunded recording studio.

All guests receive a complementary “Expanded Forest Package” and an opportunity to buy coupons entitling them to enter an exclusive lottery for a chance to win the option to pre-order the new album at full price. V.I.P. packages grant guests the privilege of reading over the lyrics and even sweeping the studio floor. Also included is an upgraded bed/drawer equipped with a small slot in the window through which to interact with the band while taking their food and drink orders.

Yelp reviews from their soft open last weekend compare the experience to “Being buried alive while watching Some Kind of Monster on endless repeat,” and the accommodations are described as “A human-sized cat carrier with an overhead lamp,” and “Slightly less awful than those at the Manowar Leather-Working and Sword Forging Master Retreat.”

When asked if having a group of strangers staying in the studio would be a distraction and hinder work on the upcoming album, Wintersun founder and creative genius Jari Mäenpää laughed and responded “C’mon, at this point it can only help, right? They might even have a good idea or two, but writing credits are extra!”

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  • Dr. A.N. Grier

    Fucking gold.

  • Ferrous Beuller

    This just ended my lungs.

  • You wot m8?

    I’ve needed this all my life, I just didn’t know before today…

  • Feytalist

    This is all I’ve ever wanted.

  • defjam

    I have booked there for the Easter holiday

  • Westpaceagle

    My therapist told me I should never talk about my ‘fan sessions’ with Rapegoat. He said some memories should just stay repressed.

  • Grymm

    The amount of dead that I am right now can’t be measured.

    Goddamn, my sides hurt.

  • metalcasket

    “Slightly less awful than those at the Manowar Leather-Working and Sword Forging Master Retreat.”

    I fucking died.

  • The gold standard is now the actual Megadeth “boot camp” with the side of David Ellefson’s Church Chat, but this Wintersun deal sounds better.

    • Gaëtan Baratin

      Boot camp, booty camp, boot camp, booty camp, boot camp booty camp…

    • Juan Manuel Pinto Guerra

      They could have reposted here the Blabbermouth press release for the Megadeth boot camp and it could have passed for an April’s Fools joke as well.

  • Meriyas

    This is really pushing the real/satire boundary. Brilliant stuff Steel.

  • rumour_control

    “A human-sized cat carrier with an overhead lamp” was the death of me.

  • Dr. Wvrm

    Sublime.

  • Reese Burns

    This was fucking brilliant, Steele. You’ve outdone yourself this time.
    As a side note though: fucking give us Time II already.

    • Anarchist

      Well they are giving us another album. It’s just not Time II

      • Reese Burns

        Which just makes me wonder when they’ll get around to finally making Time II

        • Norwegian viking

          Watch the documentary they made,where it is explained pretty good ?

        • IBlackened

          There will be 2 or 3 more campaigns, depending on how much money they raise, then they’ll start building the studio, which will take quite some time, so Time II will be out probably around 2020.

          • This is funnier than anything we could have come up with.

          • IBlackened

            And I’m not even kidding. That’s their plan. Whoever said (jokingly or not) they would take another 8 years to finish that album might actually be right.

          • ricLP81

            Probably just one more, since they got over 400k, and the absolute total they need is 750k

  • Giving “room with a view” a new meaning.
    Where do I sign up?

  • Heldarc

    For a moment I though it is actual name of a post metal band.

  • Eli Valcik

    That’s a really expensive laundry machine

    • [not a Dr]

      *laundry basket

  • Marc Rikmenspoel

    You forgot to mention that only the Deluxe Package includes a toilet. It makes the upgrade totally worth it.

  • Gaëtan Baratin

    “an opportunity to buy coupons entitling them to enter an exclusive lottery for a chance to win the option to pre-order the new album at full price”

    Hahahaha. It’s funny because it’s true.

  • Sean Sky

    I actually forgot today was April fool’s for a minute. I was wtfing pretty hard when I read the title of this.

  • André Snyde Lopes

    Joke all you want but the samples they showed for the new album so far sound fucking incredible.

    • ricLP81

      They really do. And getting a whole concert on top of that is pretty awesome

    • IBlackened

      Yes, their new album sounds promising!

    • Frost15

      Yeah, agree, but a good joke is a good joke nonetheless haha, and that comes from a guy who collaborated with the crowdfunding (it’s fuckin awesome!)

  • A Feed From Cloud Mountain

    Best part is: if it wasn’t April Fool’s, I’d have totally believed it. Jari is a strange one.

  • METAL OTTER

    Where’s the goddamned long-promised sauna??

  • h_f_m

    What I get for being out of town on vacation on 4/1 and coming back to catch up is thinking this was real for half the article going WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.. I MEAN WHAT?… WHATTT???

    OH! RIGHT! Sigh…