Meet the AMG staff:
AMG is the standard by which all should be judged, which is why he started a blog. Before sending promo read this post
Steel Druhm is the undisputed Site Overseer and Lead Contributor at AMG. A teen during the 80s, he’s the oldest, and therefore wisest metal historian on staff and takes pride in the fact he was a fan back when the only genre of metal, was metal. His first love is the traditional or “classic” style, but he has plenty of affection left for doom and thrash. He likes his death metal melancholic, his black metal innovative, his beer cold and his tea in the harbor. Dio is his spirit animal and he wields the Banhammer with cold, ruthless efficiency. Do not test his metal.
Fun fact: Steel is married to the eternally kvlt Madam X whom he met via this very site.
Favorite Bands: Iron Maiden, Amorphis, Manowar, Mercyful Fate
Guilty Pleasure: Enjoying of deep Jorn catalog
Finishing Move: Stomp 442
Madam X has the dubious distinction of being the only female staff member at AMG, but she doesn’t cook or pick up our socks; instead immersing herself in the promo bin forever searching for the next “big” kvlt act nobody ever heard of. She loves depressive black metal dearly and took the recent breakup of Agalloch a bit too personally. When she’s not neck deep in soul killing acts like Shining, Loss and Edaimony, she’s inspired by avant-garde bizarro bands like Igorrr and The Black Scorpio Underground and anything that sounds remotely like Septic Flesh. Her non-music hobbies include grotesque horror movie viewing, creepy doll collecting, casual Satanism and cat wrangling.
Dr. A.N. Grier (whose initials are neither Ass Nailer, Ass Nullifier, Anal Nibbler — you hurtful sonsabitches) is a first-class writer; winner of the coveted AMG Writer of the Year Award in 2015 and 2016, and every successive year after that. As an editor, he’s meticulous in his work; diligently eliminating any mention of Alestorm from the sacred AMG annals. He likes his black metal spiteful, his death metal rounded, his thrash metal old, his power metal delightful, and his melodic black/death/doom gloomy. He likes Immortal in the snow, Evergrey in the rain, Metal Church in the sun, Death in the shower, and Gorgoroth at rush hour. On Halloween, he enjoys shitty horror movies and spending time with his three special ladies: Abigail, Elvira, and Melissa.
Sentynel is not a writer, except of config files, but invoked sysadmin’s rights to edit his profile into this post when the editors weren’t looking. He runs the servers and keeps the blog online in the face of script kiddies, Chinese password-guessing bots, and worse still, users. He likes his metal melodic, progressive, and/or weird. His non-metal tastes include soundtrack, folk, and whatever else catches his ear. In real life, he is a nerd working in IT, where he has seen things you people wouldn’t believe, and plays the piano and too many video games.
Dr. Fisting entered the world of metal during the late ’80s and early ’90s, via such classic albums such as Dr. Feelgood, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, and Cop Killer. These days, his tastes lean towards early proto-metal, modern prog, Oakland thrash and Tampa death. The Dr. is one of the longest-tenured members of the AMG team, and the originator of the “90s Metal Weirdness” feature. He favors good songwriting above all else, and believes that Dream Theater is worse than colon cancer.
Favorite Bands: Black Sabbath, Voivod, Death, King’s X.
Guilty Pleasure: None. Guilt is for posers.
Finishing Move: Pull The Plug
Grymm: gamer, doom metal fanatic, Abbathian cat – he’s all these things, but that just scratches the surface. While unflinchingly blunt at times, AMG‘s resident man-cat maintains a soft spot for good beer, good games, and even better metal. From the heaviest, gut-wrenching doom, the most heroically epic of power metal, to the least constrained of black metal, if it’s passionate and heartfelt, Grymm‘s all over it.
Favorite Bands: Anaal Nathrakh, Funeral, Iron Maiden, Carcass, Acid Bath
Guilty Pleasures: IPAs, anything Shin Megami Tensei- or Diablo-related, epic power metal vocals
Finishing Move: The Grymm Fandango
Kronos is the sole arbiter of brutality at AMG as well as the rest of the observable universe. As such, he prefers his death metal brutal and his black metal avant-garde, and keeps abreast of new developments in musical obscenity. When not listening to death metal, he engages in dirty hippie activities such as birdwatching and fretting about his carbon footprint.
Likes: Ulcerate, Deathspell Omega, The Black Dahlia Murder, vegetarianism
Dislikes: power metal, major scales, human beings
El Cuervo, the alias, was first adopted in 2014 while the lad was but a university student toiling in anonymity. Now, nearly 3 years have passed and still he toils, still studying, still searching to establish his identity through an anonymous blog. He wonders if ever he will find meaning, especially as his career as a corporate cog looms. His favorite sort of escapism is listening to the borderline indecipherable screeching of Northern European men, most notably Opeth, The Fall of Every Season and Moonsorrow. The deluded grandeur of progressive music appeals to him greatly, manifesting in dynamic metal and a dangerous obsession with English prog from the 70s. Fun fact: El Cuervo once saw Jørn live in concert. He sang along.
Mark Z. thinks metal is the worst genre of music, except for all the others. A Maryland native, Mark “I Swear I’m not Zuckerberg” Z. got his start as a core kiddie in the mid-2000s before outgrowing his As I Lay Dying shirts and embracing the works of Death, Deströyer 666, and Behemoth with open arms. Today, it’s death metal, blackened thrash, and the occasional post-black or metallic hardcore record that gets his “Big Z” going. When not slipping reviews in just before deadline, Mark enjoys hiking, running, drinking himself stupid, and watching hedgehog videos on Instagram.
L. Saunders is something of a jack-of-all-trades metal fan, residing on the distant side of the globe in the coastal slacker city of Newcastle, Australia. Craving diversity and boasting a particular affiliation for death, prog, thrash and the NOLA metal scene, L. Saunders grew up listening to usual suspects like Metallica, Pantera and Slayer before transitioning into more extreme waters by the turn of the century. A humble servant at Angry Metal Guy for the best part of three years, he’s also in need of a snappy moniker, suggestions are welcome.
Favorite Bands: (Old Favs) Opeth, Carcass, Death, Alice In Chains, Porcupine Tree, Faith No More, Acid Bath (New Jams): Vektor, Soen, Horrendous, Vhöl, Wilderun
Diabolus in Muzaka is a simple man who enjoys life’s finer things, namely great riffs and cold beer. He dislikes life’s lesser things, such as dumb, bad, and pretentious Continental philosophy and metal. Likely the AMG staffer who’s been summarily fired the most, he spends plenty of time locked in the pitch-black janitor’s closet listening to dreadful poppycock instead of his beloved death-thrash, death-doom, and old-school death metal. His firm belief that the first five Slayer records are the pinnacle of metal has never been refuted.
Favorite Bands: Slayer, Morbid Angel, Alestorm, Carcass, Mayhem
Guilty Pleasures: Poppy, catchy, awful metalcore.
Finishing Move: Keelhauled
Roquentin is a mysterious figure from some godforsaken country in Europe and, as proclaimed by the illustrious Tom Hardy, the only true connoisseur of the underground on Angry Metal Guy. As a confirmed member of the Illuminati, he is blessed by an eclectic and epileptic taste in music. But while he prefers musique concrète inspired, this-is-not-even-music metal to traditional, by-the-numbers styles, he will indulge in both with equal pleasure. Death, black, doom, thrash, progressive, heavy – you name it. Apart from AMG, you might stumble upon his writings in publications devoted to (free) jazz, experimental, avant-garde, and similar genres out of the left field.
Favorite bands: You probably haven’t heard of them.
Huck N Roll is the second eldest of the AMG cadre. As such, he is cranky, prone to naps, and fond of starting sentences with “In my day.” However, being Canadian, he is also polite and apologetic to a fault. Having listened to metal since 1977, his tastes tend towards the old and comfortable, but he also enjoys of himself many albums from the prog, doom, sludge, and thrash genres. He likes experimental efforts as much as traditional ones, and is most anal about production and vocals. He is not a fan of those singers who sound like Gollum or Orcs.
Akerblogger was created when a team of nuclear physicists fused ‘Akercocke’ with ‘blogger’ to form the ultimate crappy online pseudonym. He likes bloated and incomprehensible genre tags attached to black metal, getting lost in atmospheric rabbit holes of all varieties, and creating desktop backgrounds of album artwork while listening to dark-ambient. In the real world Akerblogger spends 85% of his time on public transport listening to depressive black metal or long-winded sludge as he repulsively gazes at the unwashed masses. The remaining 15% is a closely guarded secret, although some say it involves bubbles and a frilly pink tutu.
Favourite Bands: Akercocke, Enslaved, Panopticon
Guilty Pleasure: Paramore
Finishing Move: The St. Anger Slam
Eldritch Elitist was exiled from R’lyeh (pronounced “Hellyeah”) for listening to power metal, and is perhaps the least br00tal member of the AMG crew. Active in the metal blogosphere since 2009, he’s been slipping pamphlets on the Japanese power metal scene into the tote bags of hapless passersby ever since. He likes other genres too, especially black metal, but doom and death metal rarely impress him, and he’s typically grumpy about the choice for Record(s) o’ the Month. Eldritch prizes creativity and melody above all else, and thus would prefer if everyone kept their Iced Earth records to themselves.
Favorite Bands: Galneryus, Bal-Sagoth, Darkthrone, Coheed & Cambria
Guilty Pleasure: DragonForce, of course
Finishing Move: Antediluvian Annihilation
Ferrous Beuller was forged from the heart of a dying star and exists only to terrorize mankind with his unnatural love of pestilent death metal, thrash and all things dark and doom. When he’s not plotting the downfall of civilization from the earth’s molten core, he offends the AMG readership with his incessant need to paraphrase and butcher classic literature. He toils in the arcane arts so he may one day achieve his ultimate goal of rupturing time and space so as to punch Vince Neil for all eternity.
Favorite Bands: Death, My Dying Bride, King Diamond and Rainbow.
Finishing Move: The Face Smelter
Treble Yell‘s life details are inconsequential, but if you must know my tastes in order to confirm your own biases or collect another target for your dart board, then I suppose I can throw out a few bones. I’ve always been the bete noir – in life and in music selection – and applaud with vigor when bands go off-script. 34.788%… Complete? Love it. A Grand Declaration of War? Tasty. Load? Willing to skin knuckles over it. While I find myself enjoying offerings from most sub-genres, thrash and third-wave black metal tickle me in ways I’m not comfortable explaining. One final thing: Toxik’s “There Stood the Fence” is the single greatest ballad ever crafted. This is not up for debate.
Dr. Wvrm is the biggest poser of this angry lot. Metal is supposed to be fun, and this annelid scribe will gladly wriggle onto the fishing hook of any band happy to oblige. Thrash and melodeath are his be-all and end-all, but he isn’t afraid to get down with black, power, or anything else you can shoehorn a melody into. Taste is taste, but his is the worst. Coupled with a PhD in stirring up shit and specialties in overrating and glib remarks, there’s never a dull moment in his Coal Chamber.
Favorite Bands: Dark Tranquillity, Blind Guardian, Kreator, They Might Be Giants
Guilty Pleasures: Protest the Hero, Soilwork
Finishing Move: Spirit Shower
GardensTale, the fully formed monstrosity, crawled out of the peat of the southern Netherlands in the damp summer of 1988. His moist tendrils seek to wind themselves around predominantly progressive and melodic metal to this day, including anything from stoner and doom, to progressive death, to heavy and power metal. Emotional resonance is what makes his nostrils flare first and foremost, and should his glistening body rise from your backyard swamp, you better lock up your Iron Maiden, Pink Floyd, Clutch and Devin Townsend records. Don’t think that will keep you safe however, for the beast always hungers, and is more than happy to devour a morsel less familiar to his taste.
Finishing Move: GardensTailwhip
Master of Muppets was formed countless eons ago, during a strange time known as The Eighties. A trve monster from the frozen wastelands of Maine, the Muppety One is able to appreciate music far beyond the comprehension of mere mortals, though his blackened heart beats most thunderously for anything kvlt and melancholic as his only joy in life is the suffering of others. Sometimes he plays guitar, sometimes he writes lyrics, but he always believes it’s not butter. He likes Katatonia more than you do, and he would trade your life to resurrect Agalloch without batting an eye.
Favorite Bands: Agalloch, Katatonia, October Tide, Flyleaf
Guilty Pleasures: Master of Muppets is incapable of feeling guilt or remorse
Finishing Move: One Hit K-Yo
TheKenWord’s origin is unclear, but scientists believe he—it?—landed on this Earth aeons ago for reasons unknown, though the most prevalent theory is he was sent here in exile of his home for crimes most grievous. Ages it searched for meaning, for purpose, for a home. And finally, it found a home in metal. The Almighty Riff beckoned to it like the sirens of legend, their song stronger than any mortal’s will. But the Riff underestimated TheKenWord’s appetite for metal, and soon the Riff became TheKenWord’s prey. Its tastes indiscriminate, it consumed all. Now, TheKenWord rises to pass short-form judgment upon the consumed and to bask in the cries of the judged. TheKenWord also enjoys deeply of the gym, animated movies/television (to the point it decided to pursue a career in 3D modeling), videogames, cars, and art. It hates its day job, is terrified of wasps and other flying insects, and likes to think it can sing.
Favorite Bands: Evanescence, Sulphur Aeon, Fair to Midland, Myrath, Epica, Slugdge, Artificial Brain, yadda-yadda-yadda, Diablo Swing Orchestra
Finishing Move: Word Vomit
Cherd of Doom was once a sullen fellow, taciturn even amongst friends and given to bouts of melancholia. Dogs whined in his presence. Light bulbs flickered and dimmed if he lingered too long in a room. Then he discovered doom metal, and his despondency found a soothing balm. His sunken cheeks filled in. His performance at work improved. He became a more generous lover. Without daily doses of Yob, Thou, Warning, Pallbearer or Evoken, he runs the risk of reverting to his dolorous demeanor. Lacking these, black metal of the woodsy variety or any death metal with a prefix (tech-, progressive-, melo-) will tide him over. His first metal concert was Pantera, but he tries not to think about that.
Favorite Bands (non-doom category): Panopticon, Anicon, Oldpeth, Agalloch
Guilty Pleasure: Gilmore Girls
Finishing Move: Slaps of Sadness
Holdeneye brings a lot to the AMG table, namely awkward social skills, poor musical taste, and plenty of self-deprecation. He enjoys lifting, driving, reading, watching, discussing, pondering, eating, drinking, listening to, and writing about heavy things. He is deathly afraid of things that aren’t heavy, like mosquitos, jellyfish, and his own children. He drives a fire engine and has been known to respond to emergencies while wearing a Gloryhammer shirt, so think carefully before you call for help.
Favorite Bands: Symphony X, Nevermore, Iced Earth, Becoming the Archetype
Remorseless Pleasure: Gloryhammer
Finishing Move: The Epic Rage of Furious Thunder
Doom_et_Al, the only medical doctor in this godforsaken hellhole, never quite got enough of the emotional abuse and humiliation he suffered during his internship years at a South African public hospital and now is back for more at the offices of AMG. He finds solace from examining Steel’s hemorrhoids through running improbably far distances which are perfectly drivable. Black, doom, post and melodic death metal speak to his tortured soul. Working with kids by day and listening to music that would scare the bejesus out of them by night is how he rolls. Gets funny looks from colleagues when he wears his Fleshgod Apocalypse t-shirts to ward rounds. If you don’t vaccinate your children, he will find you (and he knows where it hurts).
Favorite Bands: Agalloch, Isis, Sulphur Aeon, Yob, Emperor
Guilty Pleasures: Deafheaven, Yoga (Try it, it’s metal AF)
Finishing Move: The Open Thoracotomy
Twelve is an enigma. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t twelve personalities inhabiting a single body; rather, it’s a single personality inhabiting twelve (unless it’s the other way around). One thing is for certain, though: it is not twelve years old, and has spent its more-than-twelve years of life writing, procrastinating, making excuses for things, and listening to metal. It enjoys most doom, some death, a bit of black, too much power, way too much folk, a little prog, and any well-done concept album. Sometimes, it likes Avantasia, and it’s always in the mood for Orphaned Land. It once missed the chance to see Wilderun opening for Alestorm, and the mistake has haunted its life ever since. Favorite bands include Mistur, The Diablo Swing Orchestra, Blind Guardian, Apocalypse Orchestra, Swallow the Sun, Orphaned Land, and two or three others that aren’t coming to mind at the moment of writing.
Dear Hollow began down the winding and spiraling road to madness and metal because his dumbass roommate listened to too much Asking Alexandria and Bring Me the Horizon. He tends to lean toward quiet activities nowadays, like watching direct-to-video Scooby-Doo movies on repeat, watching YouTube makeup tutorials with his lovely wife, and blasting Altarage and Black Cilice in the church parking lot. He prefers the atmospheric in metal, and loves criticizing all post-black for sounding too much like Deafheaven.
Favorite bands: Infernal Coil, In Mourning, Dirge, Ulcerate, The Great Old Ones, Godspeed You! Black Emperor.
Carcharodon has spent years plumbing the murkiest depths of the seas, hunting down the choicest of metal cuts. After briefly surfacing for an ill-advised nu-metal phase in the early-2000s, he sank quietly back beneath the waves. He now searches the boundless vasts for monolithic riffs, brvtal vocals and atmospheric instrumental passages. Hailing originally from London, he has moved – via Cornwall and Berlin – to the frozen wastes of Northern England where, in his free time, he cycles, hikes and climbs, and looks after his daughter.
Favorite bands: Opeth, The Ocean, Isis, Death, Amon Amarth, Carcass, Tool, Clutch, Meshuggah
Guilty pleasures: I don’t believe in guilty pleasures (if pushed on the subject, I will admit to Rammstein and peanut M&M’s)