“Replace Steel Panther’s cut-rate comedy with a quintet of Torontonians who seem to actually love the ridiculous hard rock of old and, for better or for worse, you end up with Diemonds .” Female fronted cock rock? That seems wrong.
Diabolus in Muzaka
If you're not into Live in Leipzig, you are not his friend.
Soilwork – The Ride Majestic Review
““You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” – Conventional wisdom or Will Rogers, no clear date. “We play melodic death metal with metalcore elements and tons of hooky choruses!” – Soilwork via Stabbing the Drama, 2005. Combining these two quotes explains the position from which I’ll tackle Soilwork’s tenth full-length The Ride Majestic.” When we start quoting Will Rogers, the poo usually hits the oscillation device.
Hate Eternal – Infernus Review
“Last time Hate Eternal graced the digital halls of AMG, they left Steel Druhm throbbing with excitement and elation and in turn he gave 2011’s Phoenix Amongst the Ashes a near-perfect score. Four years later it appears something has throttled the throbbing, as their latest full-length Infernus was dropped on my desk alongside a wonderful lack of punitive metalcore.” Floridian death metal is back to melt ice cream and your face, and we’re all outta ice cream.
Deiphago – Into the Eye of Satan Review
“If there’s a Svpreme Kvlt Covrt ov Trve Metal, I’ll officially lose whatever remains of my KVLT CRVD for this (spelling in accordance with THV WVRTH VCT OV 2015). Deiphago is an extreme metal band from Costa Rica that’s been terrorizing the world since 1989. Their fourth full-length is called Into the Eye of Satan and it’s being released by the excellent Hells Headbangers Records, a label I’ve given plenty of Canadian money to throughout the years. You damn well better believe there’s gonna be a cassette pressing too. Perhaps I’m getting too old and can’t handle the kvlt anymore? Maybe not.” Where’s my 8-track? Now that would be kvlt.
Pissgrave – Suicide Euphoria Review
“Yes, a band called Pissgrave exists and yes, that’s a very dead human being on the cover. Fifteen year old Diabolus is really stoked about how edgy this whole thing is, but much older than fifteen year old Diabolus is fairly aloof about this whole ordeal. While they’re not dressed as pirates, this is nonetheless quite gimmicky.” It always comes back to pirates with this guy.
Perversor – Anticosmocrator Review
“Chilean metal miscreants Perversor have unfortunately created what will likely become yet another “left by the wayside” album on their second full-length, Anticosmocrator. Not a confidence-inspiring start to a review, but let’s count the ways, shall we?” But things may get better if you think happy thoughts.
Kataklysm – Of Ghosts and Gods Review
“In Quebec, a delicious golden ale called La Fin Du Monde has been brewed for over twenty years. It’s potent by regular beer standards, sitting at about 9% alcohol. The first time I tasted it I was with numerous smart people in a pub, and as soon as I took one sip I knew this would be a beer I’d have a long and happy drinking relationship with. Quebec has also seen the production of Kataklysm material for over two decades now, and my first time hearing them via Serenity in Fire’s “As I Slither” yielded similar results.” Let the ale flow and the death play.
Blasphemic Cruelty – Crucible of the Infernum Review
“The internet is all around us. People can hear an unfamiliar song, click a button on their phone, and be told what that track is in mere seconds. To the younger me, that would’ve been sorcery! I took advantage of precisely none of the limitless information constantly available to me when listening to Blasphemic Cruelty’s latest EP Crucible of the Infernum, and instead uttered verbatim what the venerable Al Kikuras said in his initial impression of the latest Perdition Temple record: Holy Shit, this sounds like Angelcorpse.” Another Angelcorpse hybrid falls to the ground, is it worth shedding a tear over?
Undergang – Døden Læger Alle Sår Review
“Prepare for a journey into a colossal hole, into the deepest chasm, into a cavern of fetid stench and ooze. Bet you thought I was going to make a “yer mom” joke there didn’t you? ” Is there any better place to listen to nasty death metal?
Dysentery – Fragments Review
“If you’re a trve olde fan of AMG, you probably remember when the scores used to be at the top of the review alongside an amusing blurb. While I prefer the current format, it’s moments like these where I miss the ways of olde because our editors would’ve had a field day with Boston metal band Dysentery’s latest record Fragments.” Yes, yes we would.
