![Dormant Ordeal – We Had It Coming [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dormant-Ordeal-We-Had-It-Coming-Cover-768x768.jpg)
“Since first cozying up to Dormant Ordeal one sleepy summer Saturday, the thundering masterclass has hardly left my rotation. Perhaps not the finest death metal to ever emigrate from Poland, We Had It Coming nonetheless evokes a primal emotion that renders it impossible to extract rational thought from the perpetual desire to blast this savage motherfucker from the rooftops.” But that might scare away Santa!
![Protest the Hero – Pacific Myth EP [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Protest-the-Hero-Pacific-Myth-Cover-768x768.jpg)
“In the past, mentioning Protest the Hero among the trve resulted in long side-eyes or questions of “Are they really metal?” (I can’t wait to see how well this review goes over.) But since we let a certain fat-lipped band in here, you’re damn sure I’m going to feature my favorite Verb the Noun.” Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.
“After first looking at the album art, I bet myself $5 that the most obvious comparison for Guerra Eterna would be Under the Sign of the Black Mark. I am now $5 richer (or poorer?).” Bask in the Bathory, if you dare.
“I will admit off the bat that I did not know what I was walking into with Ash Borer. They were a random pick, as our promo sheet is currently blacker than an Ad Reinhardt ten-part series on being born blind. I missed the boat on the so-called “Cascadian black metal” scene after several unsatisfying jaunts with Wolves in the Throne Room, but I’m down to see what all the hype is about.” Hype can truly be a bore.
“Creativity is a fickle beast. On bright days ensconced in melodious excellence, these words bound forth like an ever-flowing stream. Others? A wall of emptiness and muted cinder blocks mortared upon dark grey concrete. We yearn for the music that evokes the former but Liber Null, unfortunately, does not. So here I sit, swilling my scotch, wondering how to convey just what about I – The Serpent fails to strike me.” Drinking scotchy scotch scotch on the job, eh? We approve.
“My comrades may disagree, but I find the forced exploration inherent in reviewing to be a feature, not a bug. Operating outside of the norm drew me to metal in the first place, so I embrace this newfound stream of eclectic tastes and unexpected origin. Debutantes Grossty are the latest enigma I find rapping at my door. One of the only bands grinding in India today, they offer escape from the trappings of a metal culture that, though born of difference, too often trends toward uniformity.” Tasting the world, one promo at a time.
“Look at that album title. Look at that art. Now that is a gimmick! Forgive my exuberance, but after only just overcoming the trauma-induced tinnitus from my previous attempts at thrash, Witchtrap prove that good things come to those who scour the promo sheet with a fine-toothed comb.” Nasty things come to those who dumpster dive.
“With roots reaching as far back as Bathory, acoustic guitars have long subverted the conventions of traditional black metal, adding vibrancy to a scene born of minimalism. The last fifteen years have seen acoustic-laden acts like Agalloch and Panopticon transcend the genre with atmospheric forestscapes that owe a great deal to the Grandpa’s guitar. This evolution lit a new path through the early darkness of winter and allowed Netherbird to find fresh inspiration later in their career.” Evolve or die.
Copycatting is behavior generally reserved for little twerps on a mulch-surfaced playground at recess (and only slightly less annoying than asking “Why?” non-stop). Imitation naturally extends to metal as well, though it typically has to transcend influence and homage into rank apery before bands get a strike against them. Even blatant mimicry can earn a […]
“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.
