Dr. Wvrm

Grossty – Crocopter Review

Grossty – Crocopter Review

“My comrades may disagree, but I find the forced exploration inherent in reviewing to be a feature, not a bug. Operating outside of the norm drew me to metal in the first place, so I embrace this newfound stream of eclectic tastes and unexpected origin. Debutantes Grossty are the latest enigma I find rapping at my door. One of the only bands grinding in India today, they offer escape from the trappings of a metal culture that, though born of difference, too often trends toward uniformity.” Tasting the world, one promo at a time.

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

“Look at that album title. Look at that art. Now that is a gimmick! Forgive my exuberance, but after only just overcoming the trauma-induced tinnitus from my previous attempts at thrash, Witchtrap prove that good things come to those who scour the promo sheet with a fine-toothed comb.” Nasty things come to those who dumpster dive.

Netherbird – The Grander Voyage Review

Netherbird – The Grander Voyage Review

“With roots reaching as far back as Bathory, acoustic guitars have long subverted the conventions of traditional black metal, adding vibrancy to a scene born of minimalism. The last fifteen years have seen acoustic-laden acts like Agalloch and Panopticon transcend the genre with atmospheric forestscapes that owe a great deal to the Grandpa’s guitar. This evolution lit a new path through the early darkness of winter and allowed Netherbird to find fresh inspiration later in their career.” Evolve or die.

Civil War – The Last Full Measure Review

Civil War – The Last Full Measure Review

Copycatting is behavior generally reserved for little twerps on a mulch-surfaced playground at recess (and only slightly less annoying than asking “Why?” non-stop). Imitation naturally extends to metal as well, though it typically has to transcend influence and homage into rank apery before bands get a strike against them. Even blatant mimicry can earn a […]

Aeternitas – House of Usher Review

Aeternitas – House of Usher Review

“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.

Re-Armed – The Era of Precarity Review

Re-Armed – The Era of Precarity Review

“It was noted in the comments that there’s been a lot of negativity around here lately. That’s not false: 2016 has suffered the runs worse than a 3rd grade recorder recital that accidentally hit the brown note. Whether that’s due to an outflow of compelling material, the recent infestation of scrubs (That’s Dr. Scrvb to you), or just something in the water at AMG Inc., the readership can only take so much aspersion. I swore I wouldn’t embrace the misery. If Re-Armed could generate a lick of positivity from their hyphenated frames, I was going to find it.” In every cloud there’s a silver lemming.

Eastern Front – EmpirE Review

Eastern Front – EmpirE Review

“War is hell. It’s also pretty metal. This defining aspect of the human condition has been touched upon by more bands than you can rattle your saber at. It’s even made its mark on black metal, as Eastern Front will be quick to remind you. Plundering the history books for wartime atrocities has inspired some ferocious work from Eastern Front before, and EmpirE rides that Panzer down a solid if unsurprising path.” Let’s blow stuff up!

Thy Catafalque – Meta Review

Thy Catafalque – Meta Review

“Imagine your basic symphonic black metal, say, Emperor. One day, Ihsahn’s on a big electronica kick, so he throws some cash at the latest Toontrack update, digs out his high school band instruments, and rolls all his artsy friends over for a weekend. No blasting, no razor thin production, just a full plate of programmed drums and defied expectations. This is the sound of Tamás Kátai’s Thy Catafalque.” And what a sound!

Chariots of the Gods – Ages Unsung Review

Chariots of the Gods – Ages Unsung Review

“Every metal-head has their watershed moment; whether that’s Master of Puppets, Symbolic or actually Watershed, that magic album taps you on the shoulder and says “young poser, let me show you the way to trveness.” Chariots of the Gods bills itself as melodic metal with In Flames as its top influence, I’m feeling cautious yet optimistic.” Get ready to chug.

X-Method – Sex, Alcohol, Rebel Music Review

X-Method – Sex, Alcohol, Rebel Music Review

“I’m a rare steak man. It doesn’t have to bleed to be palatable, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. After tossing a couple sirloins on the grill for dinner, my fiancée asked how I was liking X-Method. A blood-tinged fugue immediately compelled me to follow her back into the house so that someone, anyone, would listen to the ensuing oral diarrhea. Fifteen minutes later, my untended steaks were completely overcooked. X-Method ruined my dinner and my stomach demands recompense.” That steak is now like Thor’s hammer – runed!