Grymm

The beard knows who is trve.
Savn – Savn Review

Savn – Savn Review

“Supergroups, as a concept, always intrigued me. When talented musicians from well-respected, established bands get together to create something new, it’s always an invigorating feeling. In practice, however, it rarely happens. The music released ends up being a sum of all its collective parts.” Can Savn escape this insidious super group trap or are they destined to be mere genre repeaters? Grymm tells all.

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Attacks De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas

Indefensible Positions: Grymm Attacks De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively heaps too much praise on a band or record and someone needs to step up and announce that the Emperor has no clothing. We normally don’t spend a lot of time attacking beloved records, but sometimes genuinely overrated records get far too much love from the metal sheeples and that calls for a professional contrarian to set things right! If ever there were professional contrarians, they would be us at AMG.” Grymm decides to kick the sacred cow of Norwegian black metal and stir up a hornets nest of frigid fury. Ask us for his phone number and we just may give it to you.

Vanhelga – Längtan Review

Vanhelga – Längtan Review

“My childhood was a blur, but I had a rather distinct memory of someone from the First Grade. Remember when you were a kid, if you did something exemplary, your teacher would reward you with a sticker to show for your efforts? There was a kid in my class named Jason (last name escapes me) who won a “You’re the Cat’s MEOW!!!” sticker, complete with purring kitty and stars bedazzling the pre-Comic Sans font in gold letters. After slapping the sticker on his wrist, Jason was dismayed that due to adolescent sweating and kid grubbiness, it wouldn’t stick. Luckily, he had the grand idea that stapling the sticker to the underside of his wrist would be a nice way to permanently show off his rewards. Gleefully, Jason ran around the room, giggling incessantly and displaying the proud reward of his efforts as color drained from his face and blood jizzed from his arm, both at an alarming rate.” Grown up Jason would like this band.

Coltsblood – Into the Unfathomable Abyss Review

Coltsblood – Into the Unfathomable Abyss Review

“Colts are young male horses. Colts, assuming that they are not neutered in their upbringings, will eventually grow up to be stallions, free to roam the range, gallop at high speeds, and get their horsey groove on with the nice mare a few barns down. I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Gee, Mr. Grymm, why the educational lesson on horses?” (Okay, you’re not thinking this at all, but roll with me here, dear readers.) As mentioned earlier, horses are fast creatures, hence their use as a mode of transportation in the olden days. Coltsblood, a fairly new band from Liverpool, England, is so very, very, very not fast. At all. Into the Unfathomable Abyss crawls and lurches like a pissed off, swamp-covered turtle in a race that’s impossible to win nor does it care for victory, but will you stay involved through all 58 minutes of its marathon duration?” I like turtles as much as the next guy, but…yeah.

Yer Metal is Olde:  Acid Bath – When the Kite String Pops

Yer Metal is Olde: Acid Bath – When the Kite String Pops

“We at AMG have a sense of history and like to think we’re in touch with metal’s ancient lore (kindly refrain from jokes about Steel Druhm’s age). With that in mind, we thought it might be fun to highlight notable albums released between twenty and thirty years ago in a new feature we call…YER METAL IS OLDE!” Next on the age discrimination hit list is this beast from NOLA swamplords Acid Bath.

Lacuna Coil – Broken Crown Halo Review

Lacuna Coil – Broken Crown Halo Review

“When a band hits a certain level of fame, usually it gives them free reign to do whatever their innermost muse guides them to create without fear of their label dropping them. They can craft new masterpieces to guide the listener to unknown lands, and hold them there for the duration of the album’s captivating length. They can also lull the unsuspecting fan into a false sense of security before bludgeoning them to a wet, slushy pulp. In other words, no matter what the band does, it’s guaranteed that their label will back them up, as they are proven to sell like virtual gang-busters.” Which approach will Lacuna Coil take? Are you sure?

Yer Metal is Olde:  Samael – Ceremony of Opposites

Yer Metal is Olde: Samael – Ceremony of Opposites

We at AMG have a sense of history and like to think we’re in touch with metal’s ancient lore (kindly refrain from jokes about Steel Druhm’s age). With that in mind, we thought it might be fun to highlight notable albums released between twenty and thirty years ago in a new feature we call…YER METAL IS OLDE! First on the geriatric block is Samael’s evil classic Ceremony of Opposites, released way back in the halcyon days of 1994.

Shores of Null – Quiescence Review

Shores of Null – Quiescence Review

“Swimming among an overcrowded sea of retro-thrashers, tech-death wankers, and sweepy-haired shoegazers playing post-whatever-the-fuck-the-flavor-is-this-week, there’s a band from Italy that’s looking to Finland and Seattle for the inspiration behind their début, Quiescence. Shores of Null may be a brand-spankin’-new band, but they are looking to capture your attention in pretty interesting ways. And they succeed to a degree.” Grymm just might have stumbled on something interesting here.

Retro-Spective Review:  Anacrusis – Screams and Whispers

Retro-Spective Review: Anacrusis – Screams and Whispers

“I get sad when bands don’t get their just due. I get sadder when I find out about that band after they had disbanded. One fateful night in 1993, I was watching MTV’s Headbangers Ball and caught a video of “Sound the Alarm” by St. Louis, Missouri’s progressive thrashers, Anacrusis. From what I’ve read online, “Sound the Alarm” was played once and only once on that show, and it was after the band had called it quits earlier that year. I was fortunate enough to be floored by that song.” Join Grymm as he shines a light on a truly under-appreciated metal treasure.

Shroud of the Heretic – Revelations in Alchemy Review

Shroud of the Heretic – Revelations in Alchemy Review

“”This band would absolutely crush live.” That’s pretty much what was running through my head constantly throughout the entirety of Revelations in Alchemy, the debut full-length from Portland, Oregon’s Shroud of the Heretic. Those scenic, picturesque sounds brought forth by fellow Portlandians Agalloch and Wolves in the Throne Room are nowhere to be found here. Instead of beauty and introspection, you get a sludgy, slimy atmosphere that will prove hard to wash off, even after repeated listens. The problem is, will you return for those repeated splashings?” Slimy sludge splashings are always hard to refuse. But should you pass on this particular muck?