Huck N Roll

Off you fuck, chief.
Perpetual Rage – Empress of the Cold Stars Review

Perpetual Rage – Empress of the Cold Stars Review

“Look to the left. What do you see? One of the worst album covers of the year is what I see, and thus my expectations for Empress of the Cold Stars, the second release from Finland’s Perpetual Rage, are tempered. The fact that I’m reviewing this is a mixed blessing: on the one hand, we here at AMG aren’t subjecting you to a review of Wizard’s newest, since we didn’t get it. On the other hand, there’s this.” Oh, my cold stars and garters!

Valor – Arrogance: The Fall Review

Valor – Arrogance: The Fall Review

“I had such great luck with my review choices in May that I decided for June I need to bring myself back down to earth, so this month I’m choosing predominantly power metal. Okay, that’s not why, it’s because all the good stuff was already gone by the time I remembered to look for June promos. Anyhow, for better or worse June is Power Metal Month in the Huckster’s household, and we kick things off with the powerfully-named Greek band Valor, blessing us with their third album, Arrogance: The Fall.” Haughty and naughty.

Mean Streak – Blind Faith Review

Mean Streak – Blind Faith Review

“I have a new rule. Whenever Jonas Källsbäck drums on an album, it’s going to be good. Last month’s Night Flight Orchestra was fantastic. From what I’ve heard, Gathering of Kings will rock. And there’s this Mean Streak album, Blind Faith. Not to be confused with the 80s girl band Meanstreak, this version is a Swedish traditional metal band, ostensibly named after the Y&T album and song of the same name (which saw heavy rotation on my turntable back in 1984, in the form of K-Tel’s Masters of Metal album).” Dads B Rockin’.

Cydemind – Erosion Review

Cydemind – Erosion Review

“Welcome to the most self-indulgent genre of metal in existence: the dreaded instrumental progressive metal. Even I, a lowly and slavishly devoted minion of most things prog, cringe when the internet pleads with me to review an instrumental prog album. This music is tough to do well. Often, it’s much easier to simply wank until your wank falls off rather than write captivating songs. To grab my attention, you need something different, and that’s just what Montreal, Canada’s Cydemind have tried to do: they’ve added a violinist to the mix here, hoping to shake up the genre.” Shake the wank before returning to work.

Harvestman – Music for Megaliths Review

Harvestman – Music for Megaliths Review

“Most musicians these days have multiple projects on the go. Whether because of diverse musical influences or the need to try and make a buck in this silly industry, we can expect members of our favorite bands to pop up in all sorts of places. Neurosis’ Steve Von Till is no different, playing in his main band along with solo outings, Tribes of Neurot, and his outdoorsy drone/ambient project, Harvestman.” Enjoy of deep Druid-core.

Sabbath Assembly – Rites of Passage Review

Sabbath Assembly – Rites of Passage Review

Sabbath Assembly have been gifting us with music firmly entrenched in eerie discomfort since 2009. In the early years, their releases centered upon the teachings of the Process Church of the Final Judgement, which made them disturbing to the point of near-inaccessibility. In what was a positive career move, the band decided not to regale us with further hippy cult weirdness on 2015’s self-titled release, instead focusing on pure occult songs, resulting in an excellent album that catapulted the band (in our eyes at least) to the top of the occult rock food chain.” Self-cleaning coven.

Summoner – Beyond the Realm of Light Review

Summoner – Beyond the Realm of Light Review

“When Boston’s Summoner came into being back in 2009, they were originally known as Riff Cannon. Made up of members of black metal bands Plagues and Deafheaven, Summoner is clearly a vehicle for these fellas to shed their black metal overcoats and give some love to the Baroness/Kylesa/Torche side of the bill.” Black does sludge.

Echotime – Side Review

Echotime – Side Review

“First, a bit about these theatrical Italian progsters. who dare compare themselves to the likes of Dream Theater and Pain of Salvation. Side is the quintet’s second album, a concept album featuring a number of songs tied together via a series of narratives. The concept itself is a bit difficult to understand, but seems to be a series of stories about characters that some woman named Lily knows.” When prog goes Side-ways.

Foreseen – Grave Danger Review

Foreseen – Grave Danger Review

“When I was thirteen years old I snagged an album with a wicked (cool word in 1983) cover. It was a drawing of what looked like a cynical, smartass devil. The album was Venom’s Black Metal, and my pals and I thought it was damn near the funniest thing we’d ever listened to. Crappy production, crappy musicians, goofy songs, and horrible vocals. We played that record to death, much to the displeasure of our mothers, girlfriends, and girlfriends’ mothers. C’mon, Huckles, why are you blathering on about Venom? This is supposed to be a writeup for Grave Danger, the second album from Finnish miscreants Foreseen. Well, that is what I’m doing here, but my point is that Grave Danger is basically another Venom album.” So he pulled up quick to get ve’nom!

Ninjaspy – Spüken Review

Ninjaspy – Spüken Review

“It is a little-known fact that Canadians are patriotic. Most people think we just apologize a lot (I’m sorry, but it’s true), but just because most of our flags are pinned up in basement windows where we’ve run out of aluminum foil doesn’t mean we don’t love our country. So, when I get promos that might be interesting, often the fact that a band hails from my home country will be enough to tip the scales and get them into my speakers. Thus is the case for Vancouver’s Ninjaspy.” For those aboot to rock, we’re so sorry.