Kenstrosity

Destroying AMG's metal cred from within.
Slow – Ab​î​mes I Review

Slow – Ab​î​mes I Review

“There was a time, not long ago, when I would’ve proclaimed myself an avid Slow fan. That was before I claimed the rights to cover the Belgian funeral doom duo’s ninth album, Ab​î​mes I. All this time, I had no idea Slow was so productive. In retrospect I don’t know why this surprised me, considering the prolific multi-instrumentalist Déhà is the project’s mastermind. Furthermore, I had no idea Slow spawned all the way back in 2007. My complete negligence regarding Slow’s origins and extensive back catalog qualifies me as the quintessential “false fan.” But rest assured, once I’m done with this write-up for Ab​î​mes I, I’m catching up post haste.” Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.

冷 – 日落 Review

冷 – 日落 Review

“Rare is the promo we receive for extreme metal out of Taiwan, save for the odd gross slam record. Naturally, getting any promo from a region not particularly well known in the West for their burgeoning metal scene draws the eye, and mine eye was surely drawn. Enter (translated into the Latin alphabet as Laang), a melodic black metal outfit from Keelung City.” Rare and unusual.

Carnation – Cursed Mortality Review

Carnation – Cursed Mortality Review

“Belgian five-banger Carnation are nothing if not reliable. Time after time, these purveyors of vicious and serrated old-school HM-2 death metal prove themselves to be a cut or two above the standard. Punky swagger often combined with rabid bloodthirst as Carnation spewed forth tome after tome of hard-hitting, hooky material without fail.” Flower POWERS.

Lightlorn – At One with the Night Sky Review

Lightlorn – At One with the Night Sky Review

“Beautiful and melodious in equal measure, At One with the Night Sky occupies that stratospheric space where the most ethereal atmoblack resides, evoking more faithfully the ebullient tones of Skyforest and Deafheaven than the tumultuous desperation of Mare Cognitum. Delicate twinkling effects and peaceful dalliances with cosmic ambiance characteristic of Skyborne Reveries further embellish Lightlorn’s high-flying approach.” Platonic forms of beauty.

Sulphur Aeon – Seven Crowns and Seven Seals Review

Sulphur Aeon – Seven Crowns and Seven Seals Review

Sulphur Aeon is, as of this writing, my favorite extreme metal band. Their first three releases—the brutal Swallowed by the Ocean’s Tide, the incredible Gateway to the Antisphere, and the unforgettable The Scythe of Cosmic Chaos—represent a truly unfuckwithable hot streak of ridiculously high caliber records. So deep is my love for these German worshippers of eldritch deities that, quite frankly, it’s almost a conflict of interest for me to cover them. Yet here I am, determined to provide the public with what they deserve: a proper and thorough review of Sulphur Aeon’s upcoming fourth opus,Seven Crowns and Seven Seals.” Tendril loving care.

Tardigrade Inferno – Burn the Circus Review

Tardigrade Inferno – Burn the Circus Review

“On the ranking of Things Ken Doesn’t Like™, circus music once lived just beneath the throne. For whatever reason, cabaret in all its forms annoyed me to no end, even in its natural environment. Why, then, do I find myself continually obsessed with Russian/Australian cabaret metal clowns Tardigrade Inferno and their particularly crunchy, creepy, crazed take on the cirque de métal?” Ten clowns, three rings,