Over 40 years of metal’s biological urge (and a hefty lack of restraint) has resulted in some incomprehensibly large catalogs. No one should have to listen to anywhere from 13 to 15 [Luca Turilli’s] Rhapsody [of Fire] albums just to get caught up for a new release. So each week (as required and/or able), we’re offering a selection of prime(r)(er) cuts to get you up to speed. Without further ado, welcome to My Dying Bride’s Primer of Sadness.
“Black Sabbath’s eponymous 1970 debut might well be the ultimate Yer Metal is Olde entry. Besides being unquestionably metal, it’s also as Olde as Yer Metal can possibly get. Because, despite what a small minority of Coven and/or Blue Cheer fans might say, the release of Black Sabbath marks the birth of heavy metal itself as both a sound and a fully-formed aesthetic.” No metal is olderER!
“Valentine’s Day is normally reserved for lovers. Cards are exchanged, chocolates and red velvety things are consumed, uglies are bumped… Valentine’s Day is a time that romance, passion, and love fill the air. But you know what pairs well with VD? DOOM. Not just any doom metal, mind you, but rather oppressive, downtrodden, and lightless British DOOM, complete with bold typeface and italics. And who better to serve you that kind of doom than not one, but two former members of My Dying Bride?” Heavy love.
“From my perspective, this is a big year for Yer Metal Is Olde pieces, and it starts off with this piece of work. Iron Maiden wasn’t my first purchase by these legends: that would be The Number of the Beast, when it came out back in 1982. But after being blown away by that album as a twelve-year-old, I quickly gobbled up whatever else I could find – which wasn’t much. A few months later I grabbed my cassette copy of Killers, then the Maiden Japan EP, and finally their debut. So by the time I’d worked my way to this album, well, it confused me a bit. Why?” Eddie is olde.
“Goblinsmoker’s Toad King began a narrative arc about amphibious forest dwellers who are served by a goblin underclass. A Throne In Haze… is the second installment of the planned trilogy. While fun, this story is superfluous, since the lyrics are sparse and delivered in an unintelligible blackened rasp. A Throne In Haze... is a trim 26 minutes over three songs, and it’s all riffs, baby.” Let them eat riffs.
“Every year, January is the token month when seemingly every label releases all their one-person black metal projects en masse, and it usually falls on my furry shoulders to find new, creative ways to say, yet again, how a band sounds like certain outfits we no longer talk about. But no, not this year! This year, this damn January, Leeched saw fit to release To Dull the Blades of Your Abuse, the hotly anticipated (by me, at least) follow-up to their impressive debut, 2018’s You Took the Sun When You Left. I was eagerly awaiting filthy, undulating industrialized hardcore with so much dirt and grime that not even a lifetime supply of either Dove soap or Orbit gum could ever clean or freshen up.” Dirty deeds.
![Birdeatsbaby – The World Conspires [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/birdeatsbaby-world-conspires-768x768.jpg)
“One of the best ways to get my attention is to mention a band crossing genre boundaries in unexpected ways. Birdeatsbaby drew my eye, first, with their rather evocative name and, second, with that drop-dead gorgeous album art. But what really caught my interest was their history; the band started off in the punk cabaret scene and developed to include prog metal and symphonic influences.” Protect Baby Yoda!
“A concept album about a re-animated African elephant, performed in a progressive doom style? Yes, please! This is the story of some Nazi dude who wants to bring an elephant back from the dead as a new weapon, but in a Lovecraftian twist, a shaman witch gets in the way. Not only is the concept fun, but Bull Elephant insist on remaining an anonymous collective.” Mess with the bull, you get the Huck.
“Funeral doom must be the most impenetrable iteration of extreme metal. The genre’s painfully protracted process either engrosses or evades the listener entirely with its inevitable crawl and morose mass. Cherd of Doom and I are blood-bound for the cause where as “metalheads” like Holdeneye
harbor a taste to offend the soul. This lack of middle ground has been exploited to great effect by many bands over the years, but the fittingly named Esoteric take the proverbial cake. The Brits’ particular brand of doom is about as challenging as it gets and wields an entire weather system of psychedelic textures and thunderous passages.” A study in large-scale doomery.
“Three years ago, Tygers of Pan Tang’s self-titled twelfth album made me feel good about old NWoBHM bands, and their ability to craft enjoyable-enough songs. I hadn’t revisited it until it was time to review their new album, Ritual. In fact, I even went and revisited the referred-to review above. I mean, there’s always a chance that, because I was still in my rookie year as a member of the AMG Conglomerate, I was taking it easy on some bands. But I’ve been around for a long time now, and having a warm place in my atrophying heart for a band is not only unacceptable, it is now unheard of.” Tales from an overrating bastard.
