Finnish Metal

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

“The rubber costumes, Halloween-themed perversions, and Rob Zombie-meets-’80s hair metal ditties aren’t on the list of ‘Things Metalheads Need.’ Yet, their Gwar-ish concepts spring up every couple of years as the Metal Monster Squad’s own songs (?) summon them via radio shows hosted by either Twisted Sister‘s Dee Snider or Rockin’ Ralph Ruiz. And they don’t seem to care if you want what they have to offer or not—even if they’ve done it some ten times in twice as many years. And, only God/Satan knows, but there’s a handful of you sick sonsabitches out there that enjoy this crap. So, this review of Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) is for you. Be ashamed of yourself.” Monster, Inc.

Marrasmieli – Between Land and Sky Review

Marrasmieli – Between Land and Sky Review

“At any given time, it’s a safe bet that I’m craving new atmospheric black metal. Take your blackest metal impulses, turn down the fury and turn up the melodies, and I’m probably a happy fan! I enjoy black metal a lot, but tend to prefer less angry and more melody in the style. So seeing Marrasmieli and their debut album, Between Land and Sky labelled as “folk/black metal” in the Promo Pit was plenty good enough for me.” Black lite.

Dawn of Solace – Waves Review

Dawn of Solace – Waves Review

“As a big fan of Tuomas Saukkonen’s Before the Dawn and Black Sun Aeon projects (R.I.P. to both), I was the natural demographic for his melancholy melodeath vehicle, Dawn of Solace as well. 2006s The Darkness was a beautiful and haunting dose of Finnish gloom that made an impression, and I always wondered why he never released another album under that name. Now in 2020 he finally delivers the followup outing titled Waves.” Surfing blues.

Vesperith – Vesperith Review

Vesperith – Vesperith Review

Throughout the ages, many are the writers of these ancient halls who have remarked upon metalcore bands whose promotional materials lurk deep within that bogs of our storage facility masquerading as something else altogether. Many are those who have excitedly snatched up and absconded with a rare unsupervised melodeath promo only to realize, to their endless despair, that the joke is on them. As a relative newcomer, I knew to beware of this phenomenon, but I didn’t count on the surprising number of ambient bands whose promotional teams might seek to do the same thing with black metal. You’d think I’d have learned by now – Vesperith’s self-titled debut marks the fourth time I’ve sat down to sample a not-black metal “black metal” album.” Sucker!

Black Beast – Nocturnal Bloodlust Review

Black Beast – Nocturnal Bloodlust Review

“One of the best things about Halloween in Canada is the excuse to wear corpse paint in the hospital check out the costumes everyone is wearing. Some folks keep it simple with unusual hats or ties. Some kids wear Iron-Man suits or My Little Pony onesies. But there are always a few who go full horror: blood, gore, the works. Many pull it off, but some people just look ridiculous. It’s often not a lack of commitment or a creativity deficit. Rather, to nail something truly intense and memorable requires more than just “being scary.” It requires foresight, craft and intelligence. These thoughts came to mind while listening to Black Beast’s debut album, Nocturnal Bloodlust.” Beasts of burden.

Somehow Jo – Tusk Review

Somehow Jo – Tusk Review

“I’m not sure what, if any, expectations I had for Finnish alt metallers Somehow Jo when I etched my crude shark sigil into the review boulder by their name. It’s not a moniker that really speaks to me and the artwork – although quite pretty – also doesn’t give a lot away. But you can be sure that any expectations I may have unconsciously harbored, plummeted when I read that sophomore album Tusk was written largely in a “small bunker next to a shady titty bar” and that, throughout, the band prioritized “freshness and originality in all of the ideas we’ve brought for the other members to be eaten and then later to be defecated in to a demo of some kind.”” Jo momma.

PH – Osiris Hayden Review

PH – Osiris Hayden Review

“This time around, PH are aiming for something “beyond the limits of modern psychedelia,” something that pulls influence from Gary Numan and Nine Inch Nails. And one of my psychedelic favorites from the past, Julian Cope, fully endorses these guys. This all makes me at least willing to dig in.” Needs more alkaline.

Hanging Garden – Into That Good Night Review

Hanging Garden – Into That Good Night Review

“Evermore difficult to believe has been my luck in the ongoing war against the promo bin. Despite multiple attempts to lower my less than angry rating average, including seeking out non-atmoblack/Muppetcore albums or else surrendering my fate to Steel like a damn N00b, I somehow just keep wading out from the promo sump smelling like roses. This brings us nicely to my main point, being that I can’t believe that Dr. Fisting turned down the opportunity to drop everything and craft an unpaid review for Into That Good Night, the sixth album by Finland’s Hanging Garden.” Shaking fists at gardens in the sky.

The Lone Madman – Let the Night Come Review

The Lone Madman – Let the Night Come Review

“Sometimes one gets lucky when promo sump diving and finds an unheralded gem. Other times you need to be guided toward one by a knowing compatriot. It was our very own Roquentin that drew my attention to Finnish doomsters The Lone Madman by playing me a sample of their debut Let the Night Come. Very impressed was I, and that brings us here.” Commence ranting and raving.

Aegrus – In Manus Satanas Review

Aegrus – In Manus Satanas Review

“The AMG taskmasters are an unforgiving lot. Missed deadlines result in extra latrine duty, or occasionally banishment to the Skull Pit. But sometimes, missed deadlines (and the grumpy glare of the frequently-disappointed ape who doubles as my editor) are worth it because not all albums can be fully digested in a week. Or even a month. Some take their sweet time to fully reveal their secrets, and patience is key. Aegrus’s latest effort, In Manus Satanas, is a great example of this.” Patience is great. Lateness is not.