“Titties, rippling muscles, a motorcycle, and a horde of miscreants — what’s not to love about that artwork? Add in a promo blurb billing Weapönizer as a band for fans of everything from Deströyer 666 to The Road Warrior and I’m more curious than a 12-year-old boy outside a sleazy gentlemen’s club.” Law is for posers.
“When I was thirteen years old I snagged an album with a wicked (cool word in 1983) cover. It was a drawing of what looked like a cynical, smartass devil. The album was Venom’s Black Metal, and my pals and I thought it was damn near the funniest thing we’d ever listened to. Crappy production, crappy musicians, goofy songs, and horrible vocals. We played that record to death, much to the displeasure of our mothers, girlfriends, and girlfriends’ mothers. C’mon, Huckles, why are you blathering on about Venom? This is supposed to be a writeup for Grave Danger, the second album from Finnish miscreants Foreseen. Well, that is what I’m doing here, but my point is that Grave Danger is basically another Venom album.” So he pulled up quick to get ve’nom!
“I don’t know about you, but I’m genetically predisposed towards some kind of Pavlovian response when faced with a death metal band called Extremity flaunting an album entitled Extremely Fucking Dead. And, frankly, if a package like that doesn’t pique your interests, then you, sir, are a swine and a cad, and no friend of mine.” Extremity in defense of fucking death is no vice.
“The disturbing rumble of old school, dark and brooding death metal is a familiar one. Burrowing, buzzing riffs, inhuman growls, and tumultuous drums and bass lines are encased in a constant, over-the-top imagery of torture and dread. But why are we so attracted to this blacker than black despair and sense of suffocation?” Embrace the horrors.
“Khemmis sat atop my list of very pleasant surprises for 2015, with their unheralded Absolution debut being one of the best doom platters of the year and one of the top metal albums overall. I assumed 2016 would see these youngsters flushed with newfound success, touring extensively and carefully prepping to battle the dreaded sophomore slump sometime in 2017. Instead they chose to come right back at us with Hunted, and I wondered if they might be rushing things.” The hunt for quality doom is on.
“One release that got badly overlooked in 2014 was the debut of Portland’s Nightfell. Buried below the avalanche of notable productions that got out after its release on early February, few dug it out at the end of the year to give it a place on their lists. As a brooding piece of lightly D-beat infused Doom/Death, it’s a cunning mix of the lengthy musical background of both members. Back after little more than a year, they switched labels going from Southern Lord to 20 Buck Spin and just unloaded another crushing shipping container filled with engaging riffs and melodies named Darkness Evermore. Better late than never.
“2015 may not end up a magical year for metal, but it has certainly dropped some earth-shaking doom on the unsuspecting masses. In the wake of mammoth shit kickers from Crypt Sermon and Goatsnake, we must now reckon with the ponderous girth of unheralded Colorado doomers, Khemmis and their righteous debut, Absolution.” your doom is at hand once again.
“Minnesota’s medieval enthusiasts Obsequiae emerged from the ashes of Autumnal Winds and created an immediate impact in the underground metal scene with their exhilarating debut Suspended in the Brume of Eos. Now nearly four years following the debut, the trio of Tanner Anderson (guitars, bass, vocals), drummer Andrew Della Cagna and Spanish musician Vicente La Camera Mariño have written a monumental follow-up that takes their musical vision to its next logical progression.” Is this the black metal Album of the Year? The metal Album of the Year? Time will tell.
“Not much is known about the mysterious entity Dead in the Manger. And by not much, I mean virtually fucking nothing. The band choose to remain anonymous for whatever reason, perhaps due to the overwhelming fame and fortune that comes with life in an underground band playing extreme metal.” Another band trying to be mysterious and kvlt. They’re only here so they don’t get fined.
“June is never a good month for the Grymm household. Between the rapidly increasing temperatures, even more rapidly increasing humidity, and BUGS EVERYWHERE, I’m not exactly what you would peg as “walking on sunshine.” I just want to stay inside, shun the sunlight, and get some dirge-and-purge going. And here comes Australia’s Mournful Congregation, with their stop-gap 2-song, 30-minute EP, Concrescence of the Sophia, bridging the distance between 2011’s all-encompassing somber funeral march, The Book of Kings, and their next full-length album. Should you stay in and harvest the sorrow, or would it be better for you to go outside, put on Coppertone SPF100, and flamethrow some 8-legged critters?” Grymm is far too fair for the scorching suns of summer.
