Folter Records

Satan Worship – Teufelssprache Review

Satan Worship – Teufelssprache Review

“A good blackened thrash album is like coming home to your favorite armchair. You’ve had it for years, the material is soft and has long ago conformed to the exact contours of your buttocks, ensuring maximum comfort when you sit your ass down after a hard day’s work to watch whatever bullshit you can find on Netflix. Yet occasionally, an album will feel more like a chair you’ve owned too long. There’s potato chip crumbles stuck in the crevices. Stuffing is coming out of the edges. The recliner no longer works. It’s still a good reliable chair, but it doesn’t quite warm the heart as much as it once did.” Sofa worship.

Halphas – The Infernal Path into Oblivion Review

Halphas – The Infernal Path into Oblivion Review

“The Germans dropped their debut in the heart of List Season ’17, a rowdy black metal romp that thrived in the darkness of a 4 pm sunset. Two years on and Halphas won’t flinch before the listicle onslaught. Good on them too, because The Infernal Path into Oblivion is a step-up from an already strong debut. Who needs validation when you’ve got riffs?” Riff money.

Nocturnal Breed – We Only Came for Violence Review

Nocturnal Breed – We Only Came for Violence Review

Nocturnal Breed are everything I’ve ever wanted to be in this life. They’re old-school, they don’t give a shit about anybody or anything, and they’re Norwegian. Making their start with ‘97’s Aggressor, these hateful sonsabitches haven’t changed a goddamn thing in over twenty years. Their albums are way too long, there’s no fluidity from one track to the next, and they’re still kicking the combination of Bathory, Venom, and Motörhead mixed with first-wave black metal and thrash.” Breed in the night.

Evohé – Deus Sive Natura Review

Evohé – Deus Sive Natura Review

“I rarely write my introductions first. This paragraph, the one right here that you’re reading right now usually appears later on, as if by magic, after I already have an idea of where exactly the review is going. I tell you this so that you’ll understand when I say that I’ve already squandered most of my allotted word count gushing over Deus Sive Natura down there, so I don’t have much time to be all flowery and introductiony. So here’s what you need to know: Evohé hail from France, play pagan black metal, and Deus Sive Natura is their third full-length.” No introductions necessary.

Whiskey Ritual – Black Metal Ultras Review

Whiskey Ritual – Black Metal Ultras Review

“Duality is a part of life. Man and God. Heaven and Hell. Filet mignon and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. There’s a time and a place for putting on your best suit and giving a polished presentation to your boss, and there’s a time and a place for slamming Michelob Ultras in your underwear while listening to Impaled Nazarene‘s discography in reverse order. Since this is a band called Whiskey Ritual, I’m sure you’ve already figured out which side of the spectrum they fall on. Here’s a hint: my pants are already off.” Pants off, dance is also off.

Flykt – Charnel Heart Review

Flykt – Charnel Heart Review

“What’s in a name, anyway? As a n00b of considerable amateurism, babyfaced me ventured forth into the minefield of the promo bin for the first time. I was immediately overwhelmed with the potential amount of sweet tunes that awaited my greedy fingers. Knowing no better, I picked the thing that sounded the coolest: Charnel Heart.” Beginner’s pluck.

The Black Moriah – Road Agents of the Blast Furnace Review

The Black Moriah – Road Agents of the Blast Furnace Review

“Saddle up, cowboy! The Black Moriah have come to town to raise hell, drink the saloon dry, and make off with your most buxom women. Formed in 2009 by drummer/vocalist “The Mad Arab” and former Absu guitarist “Zawicizuz,” this Texas band peddle blackened thrash with lyrics that paint them as marauding highwaymen of the Old West.” Cowboy up.

Halphas – Dawn of a Crimson Empire Review

Halphas – Dawn of a Crimson Empire Review

“As Christmas approaches, so too does the easy gushing of TYMHM season. We are in the thick of it now, the best time of the year, the constant f5ing and frantic back-listening, the questions of how you completely and totally slept on that band you’d never heard of until just now. Every day heralds a batch of guaranteed winners determined to kick the certitude of yesterday’s Top Ten down a mine shaft. Halphas kindly reminds you not to ignore the humble review, because Dawn of a Crimson Empire is no less impressive than any of the December delights that have caught your eye.” Did you…overlook this, perhaps?