Roadrunner

Coheed and Cambria – Vaxis – Act I: The Unheavenly Creatures [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

Coheed and Cambria – Vaxis – Act I: The Unheavenly Creatures [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]

“What were you expecting, a metal review? Too bad. Coheed time. Back in 2005, the New York boys of Coheed and Cambria were immensely influential in my formative years as a rabid consumer of music. Though only a metal band in the loosest sense of the genre, the band’s emotionally explosive and instrumentally nuanced brand of progressive alt-rock undoubtedly laid the foundation for my formal induction into metal fandom only a year later. For better or for worse, they also ignited my critical spirit; the waning quality of C&C‘s post-Good Apollo Vol. I output forced me to examine music with an unbiased ear, and helped turn me into the cynical shithead you see before you today.” Alien inwasion.

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – “Them”

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – “Them”

“Judge me for what I am but, to me, and other KD fans, “Them” ain’t derogatory bullshit. “Them” won’t transform you into a dick-less, redneck loser. No. Instead, “Them” will turn you into a helpless pansy who’ll piss her/his pants at the ring of the doorbell. “Them” will keep you up at night and make your stomach turn at that smell of a warm cup of tea. “Them” will be the reason you fall to the floor and curl up in the fetal position when your grandma comes for the weekend.” Teabag the attic.

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – Abigail

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – Abigail

“In these tumultuous times, the rights of the fetus, the infant, and the toddler have, somehow, survived. The right to transition from embryo to child in nine days, rather than nine months; the right to lash out and gain complete control of one’s own mother; the right to throw your unsuspecting father down slippery stairs; the right to explore one’s festering sarcophagus and eat until satisfied: these are the rights of our children—born and yet to be born. Privileges first chiseled on stone in 1987, privileges laid down by their founder and greatest defender: King Diamond.” Hail to the King, baby.

Gojira – Magma [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

Gojira – Magma [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

Gojira’s Magma was a pretty major release this year, and while it didn’t get any Angry Metal Guy love it got plenty of Huck N Roll love. So much so, in fact, that it landed in my comprehensive, well thought out, Best of 2016 list.” Feel the Huck love.

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – Fatal Portrait

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – Fatal Portrait

“Do you ever pop in an album that reminds you of a specific time or place in your life? There’s been a lot of talk of “first times” around here, but this is me with every album I ever buy. I remember where I was when I bought my first album as much as I remember where I was when I bought yesterday’s album. And I especially remember my first King Diamond album.” The King is olde but still bolde.

Kvelertak – Nattesferd Review

Kvelertak – Nattesferd Review

“Oh, Kvelertak. Five years ago and hot on the heels of their 2010 self-titled debut, it seemed the Norwegian sextet were the subject of every third MetalSucks post, and their wild live shows were the stuff of legend. In a metal scene curdling from years of cvlter-than-thou extremity, the group’s insanely catchy combination of blistering black metal, hooky arena rock, and party-hard attitude not only appeased metalheads with a repressed desire to let loose and rock out, but also broke through to listeners who seldom dipped their toes in the insular metal blogosphere.”

Trivium – Silence in the Snow Review

Trivium – Silence in the Snow Review

“Well, kids, let this be a lesson to you all. Dropping clickbait jokes and fucking too much with the AMG HR department results in the dropping of various hammers. In my case, punishments manifested themselves in the form of name-calling (Steel called me a “Master Baiter”) and a metalcore promo for review.” The core will flow until you praise our new logo.

Within Temptation – Hydra Review

Within Temptation – Hydra Review

“I’ll admit to liking the early Within Temptation output like Mother Earth and The Silent Force. Sure, they were a dime-a-dozen, female-fronted gothic metal act with more gloss and slickness than the complete works of Glee, but the song-writing was consistently sharp and catchy without sounding too commercialized or fake and Sharon den Adel had big, captivating… vocals. Things started to drift for me by the time The Heart of Everything came along and though it had some good songs, it also felt more forced and AOR. I paid scant attention to 2011s The Unforgiven and didn’t really want to review this one, but hey, somebody had to do it and I wanna be somebody!” Steel Druhm reviewing goth rock is always a scary ride on a rough road. Tempted yet?

Satyricon – Satyricon Review

Satyricon – Satyricon Review

“I don’t know what’s more unusual — the fact Satyricon are still around or the fact that one of the most pivotal Norwegian black metal bands are signed to Roadrunner. It’s probably fairer to judge the band by their merits instead of their label, and their laurels are notable. With such 90s classics as Dark Medieval Times and Nemesis Divina still held as black metal masterpieces even now, it’s hard to question their relevancy to black metal history. They’ve also had some arguably decent albums in the past decade too, but what about now and how does their self-titled LP stand up to its forbearers?” Noctus delves into one of the most anticpated albums of the year and let’s us all know if these evil wood trolls still have the dark magic of olden days.