2017

Laster – Ons Vrije Fatum Review

Laster – Ons Vrije Fatum Review

“Attempting to categorize Laster is like trying to catch air with a net, but in a hypothetical “pick a genre or die” kind of scenario, one would probably end up lumping them in with the blackened shoegaze crowd. To do so would be a crass oversimplification, however, as their music incorporates an absurdly diverse range of elements and influences.” AMG policy requires air nets be worn at all times.

Condenados – The Tree of Death Review

Condenados – The Tree of Death Review

“Those who know me will tell you that Steel Druhm is a man of refined tastes. As such, I don’t always listen to cult underground doom, but when I do, I like it the same way I like my chili – extra meaty and full of crippling regret. Obscure Chilean doom purveyors, Condenados have their own homestyle recipe they’d love to share and on their second album, The Tree of Death they’re looking to serve it to a wider audience.” Ent no thing.

Grave Digger – Healed by Metal Review

Grave Digger – Healed by Metal Review

“It’s a brand new year – a fresh beginning for all of our personal stories and a clean, blank slate for metal music. Now is the time to take risks, to be daring, to innovate. Just kidding, it’s actually time for the 17th goddamn album of monochromatic meat n’ taters metal from the unstoppable Germanic horde called Grave Digger.” Well, that de-escalated quickly.

Insulters – Metal Still Means Danger Review

Insulters – Metal Still Means Danger Review

“Do you smell that? No? Breath deeper? Now do you smell it? Nope, it wasn’t me or the dog. That is the flatulence of another year. Forced out the sphincter of 2016, 2017 promises to be better than the worm-ridden large intestine it was shat from. Actually, twenty-seventeen doesn’t promise shit.” Doc loves the smell of blackened sphincter in the mourning.

Derhead – Via Review

Derhead – Via Review

“As we slam the door on the non-stop game of Russian Roulette that was 2016, we at Angry Metal Guy Enterprises, LLC collectively realize that the adage “the more things change, the more they stay the same” rings ever so true. New years always bring new promises. They also bring with them one-man black metal.” Seize the day and a drum machine.