Reviews

Record reviews

Cara Neir – Perpetual Despair Is the Human Condition Review

Cara Neir – Perpetual Despair Is the Human Condition Review

“For those who love the bizarre black/grind/punk that vocalist Chris Francis and multi-instrumentalist Garry Brents have been producing since Cara Neir’s 2008 inception, Despair, has been a hotly anticipated record indeed. So turn off the lights, grab some white wine, and get ready to sulk in the corner as we explore the hopelessness of Perpetual Despair Is the Human Condition.” Does white wine even go with existential angst?

Cardinal Wyrm – Cast Away Souls Review

Cardinal Wyrm – Cast Away Souls Review

“It should be fairly apparent by now that I loves me some doom. As of late, I’ve been on an almost exclusively doom-rich diet: death-doom, blackened doom, even “esoteric doom.” I’m beginning to think it might be high time to cut down; after all, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. But, as always, I’m suckered in by that one last bite… This particular tender morsel comes to me in the form of Americans Cardinal Wyrm and their third release Cast Away Souls, and as it happens, it’s deceptively filling.” Commence the doom shaming.

Katla – Embryo Review

Katla – Embryo Review

“Ah, the seventies. An excellent decade for wanton sex, drug abuse and consequently, psychedelic music. In the common mindset, the foremost psychedelic band is of course Pink Floyd, and with good reason. But another influential band that tends to get overlooked, is Hawkwind, who had a bit more oomph than the aforementioned space rock colossus, using experimental timbres and textures to accentuate their otherwise fairly straightforward proto-metal. The influence of Hawkwind (who, amazingly, are still around) is clear on the debut of the trippy Swedish quartet Katla.” A might (Hawk)wind blows.

Darkthrone – Arctic Thunder Review

Darkthrone – Arctic Thunder Review

“For the last fifteen, this Norwegian duo have been turning out album after album of crusty, blackened heavy metal. Using these recent records as the balancing weight to their black metal counterparts. Though fans may be split on which seat they prefer on this dilapidated teeter totter from Hell, Darkthrone ain’t returning to their old, black metal ways. And Arctic Thunder is proof of that, adding even more weight to the leather-draped seat on this hellish seesaw.” Sounds of a playground…nearing?

Eden’s Curse – Cardinal Review

Eden’s Curse – Cardinal Review

“Wait, come back! I know a quarter of you took one look at that lurid, mega-tacky cover and started to turn away in disgust, while another quarter started doing something worse (which results in hair growth in unsightly places). But before you judge this book based on its highly regrettable cover, hear me out. Eden’s Curse is a kind of low-rent “super group” of sorts that’s been puttering around the edges of metaldom since 2007, and despite the absence of household names they’ve managed to release some enjoyably melodic metal albums.” No one expects the Red Riding Hood Inquisition!

Waldgeflüster – Ruinen Review

Waldgeflüster – Ruinen Review

“Having first encountered Munich’s Waldgeflüster on their split with Panopticon earlier this year, I was intrigued and further encouraged to investigate their brand of atmospheric black metal. A couple from our valued community rate their work as among the best in the genre. Try though I did, I found myself somewhat underwhelmed.” El Cuervo vs. buzz.

Tortorum – Rotten. Dead. Forgotten. Review

Tortorum – Rotten. Dead. Forgotten. Review

“Bergen is a charming city located on the west coast of Norway. It’s Europe’s utopia, a haven from scum and villainy and home to wonderful landscapes, picturesque architecture, politeness, order, harmony, and BLACK METAL! Tortorum claim to be from Bergen although the two founding members of the band are from the UK and Poland. Despite this, the evilness that resonates from the name Bergen is undeniable. I’m shaking as I type this and I haven’t slept since I received the promo because I fear the terrors that Tortorum may summon. Rotten. Dead. Forgotten. is a mini-album straight from the demonic depths of Hell. Proceed, if you dare.” We warned you, but also dared you.

Agatus – The Eternalist Review

Agatus – The Eternalist Review

“In today’s fast-paced world where instant gratification is king, once a winning formula has been established, it’s tempting for many bands to play it safe, shy away from experimentation, and resort to simply churning out variations on the same record every few years (*cough* Amon Amarth *cough*). I always have a lot of respect therefore for musicians who are willing to take a risk, mix things up a bit and diversify their style – creating their own record as opposed to simply writing what is expected of them. Agatus are one such band.” A double review brought to you by administrative tomfoolery.

Anciients – Voice of the Void Review

Anciients – Voice of the Void Review

“Canada’s Anciients stormed the scene with their promising Heart of Oak debut in 2013, an intoxicating if at times derivative mix of stoner, sludge, and prog. It was an enjoyable album, though it didn’t quite blow me away like it did many others. Nevertheless, my interest was certainly piqued enough to be excited by the band’s long-awaited return with the all important album number two.” Goats for all!

Brutally Deceased – Satanic Corpse Review

Brutally Deceased – Satanic Corpse Review

“As many of us learned from magnets or, for an elite few, Paula Abdul and her weird rapping cartoon cat companion, opposites have the ability to attract if they’re strong enough. As we learned from making friends, joining any voluntary association, or reading Plato’s Timaeus, like knows and seeks out like at a high rate too. And Czech Swedeath merchants Brutally Deceased are going for this principle with their third record, Satanic Corpse.” Oh Paula, you came and you found us some Swede-death….