Record reviews
“I’m not going to lie. When I got handed the new Reclusive Blasphemy release from New England/New York’s One Master, I immediately assumed they were another one-man outfit nestled firmly in the bosom of pretentiousness, gathering mid-paced black clouds, and smothering the listener in an atmospheric bla(n)ck(et). Not only is One Master a full band, but it also has a sound as raw as sewage.” More black metal fury from New York, because it’s an angry kind of state.
“For those who like scorching deserts, scantily-clad temptresses, and animals that will poison you and then rip your face right off, look no further than the land down under. Hell? Close – Australia. It’s no surprise such a rugged environment has given rise to filthy bands that blur the lines between thrash, black, and death: Nocturnal Graves, Denouncement Pyre, Innsmouth, and the almighty Deströyer 666. Of perhaps lesser profile – though no less quality – is Victoria’s Destruktor.” Former penal colonies make the best metal.
“Whenever I say the words “endurance test,” what does that do to you, dear reader? Do you think of 26.2 mile marathons across metropolises like Boston, or even out in the barren sticks of Arizona? Do they bring back memories of reading books like War & Peace in the time span of a few days, in hopes that the book report will somehow miraculously score higher than the “C” you earned due to poor planning?” I think of sitting through any late period Metallica album.
“The internet is all around us. People can hear an unfamiliar song, click a button on their phone, and be told what that track is in mere seconds. To the younger me, that would’ve been sorcery! I took advantage of precisely none of the limitless information constantly available to me when listening to Blasphemic Cruelty’s latest EP Crucible of the Infernum, and instead uttered verbatim what the venerable Al Kikuras said in his initial impression of the latest Perdition Temple record: Holy Shit, this sounds like Angelcorpse.” Another Angelcorpse hybrid falls to the ground, is it worth shedding a tear over?
“For the past two years, my “Album of the Year” honor has gone to albums that clawed at the seams of extreme metal; while imperfect, they represented a rare glimpse at the technicolor darkness trapped perpetually beyond the horizon of the genre. It’s too early to call 2015, which I must say has piddled forth only a dilute stream of quality metal; but I can say without doubt that this album is a contender.” Color Kronos impressed…and burnt sienna.
“Starting your promo blurb off with “Horror ‘n gore connoisseurs, Bone Gnawer….” will catch my eye. Going on to mention that the band is the brainchild of death metal legend Kam Lee (The Grotesquery, ex-Massacre, ex-Denial Fiend) that’s a great way to keep me reading.” Madam X likes cookouts…and cannibalism.
“As made blatantly obvious in my first review of 2015, last year left me drained, beaten, and more fucked over than a single person can stand. So, it is only fitting that Hellbastard’s brutally honest and extremely pissed-off Feral allowed me the opportunity to let everything go, smash shit, speed recklessly down the highway, and drop a big “fuck you” to all the bullshit.” Go fookin coconuts!
““Awesome, more grindcore, I love reviewing grindcore!” I thought when the AMG carrier pigeon delivered this record to my PO box the other week. Then I became concerned for the state of my memory, because I haven’t ever reviewed any grindcore. I also don’t remember Steel Druhm or Madam X implementing a carrier pigeon-based promo distribution system, but at least that explains where all those record label bribes have gone to. Training good pigeons ain’t cheap you know.” The eagle has landed. I repeat, the eagle has landed!
“Joke bands have never really been my thing. While I love groups like Cannabis Corpse and find their puns chuckle-worthy, it’s the riffs, not the mildly amusing weed references, that keep me coming back. That said, when an album called Goatgrind by Germany’s Milking the Goatmachine showed up in the AngryMetal promo list, I made a special exception.” Don’t ask him why.
“The greatest strength of Glasgow’s doom-meets-drone-meets-noise duo Ommadon is also their greatest weakness. Namely, their artistic devotion to relentlessly forceful, suffocating music, which can be quite a tough cookie to chew on for the uninitiated.” Stick this where the Sun O)))) don’t shine.
