Record reviews
“TV Tropes is a website that talks about tropes, idioms, and cliches in various forms of media. Whether it’s television, movies, or even video games, the website does an incredible job of educating would-be writers as to what pitfalls to avoid or what “crazy plot twists” have been done to beyond death. It makes one wonder if there’s such a thing for black metal and its various offshoots.” And there isnt, so we at AMG must act as the Anti-Trope Troopers.
“The newly devised Angry Metal Guy forums, in collaboration with the great guys at Metal-Fi, have had very mixed results. On the one hand, I now have a place where I can discuss metal with people from all walks of life rather than just my superfluous IRL ‘friends’ whose metal credibility crashed and burned when they thought Bullet For My fucking Valentine was kvlt. On the other, it’s been apocalyptic for my productivity and bank balance and goes to show the great diversity of music which regretfully flies under the AMG radar.” In a nutshell, message boards are evil but useful.
“Watching Gorgoroth grow up is like watching your dipshit nephew grow up. Getting busted for stealing Bazooka bubblegum as a child, knocking up his high-school girlfriend, marrying her, divorcing her, running out on his kid, and then fighting his ex for full custody of a child he hates. The biggest difference between the trials and tribulations faced by Gorgoroth and your asshole nephew is that Gorgoroth’s are worse.” Those wacky Satanists….
“The festering stench of classic Swedish death metal is surely one of the most comforting and addictive scents in the metalverse. Try as I might to disregard the bulk of subpar bands pedaling the oversaturated style where bands are so often prone to lazily ripping off their idols with blatant plagiarism, when the words ‘old school Swedish death metal’ are thrown about I generally sit up and take notice.” Fun Fact: you can’t spell Feral without fear.
“As child of the ’80s, and metal fan of the mid-to-late ’90s, Sweden was a signpost that meant “great metal.” Sweden was a magical haven of everything my neighborhood wasn’t: filled to the brim with amazing bands. Ironically, by the time I moved to Sweden, the things that were left over were the things I liked the least….” That doesn’t sound like a promising start to a review.
“Being of the ‘80s thrash generation, I was born a few years too late to experience the actual birth of metal first hand. As a result, I have had to seek out that old-school sound and those pioneers of what we now know as “metal.”” And seek out he did.
“Looking at the cover of the new Helloween album, it strikes me that these chaps made quite a career out of the whole “not taking ourselves too seriously” schtick. They’ve been at this for 30 years, eternally projecting the same jokey-hokey, fun-timey German thing while essentially creating the entire Euro-power genre singlehandedly. That intrinsic lack of seriousness permeated the music more over time, and the cutesy pumpkin monsters and cornball lyrics have at times been too much to bear, leading some (me) to take their music less and less seriously as the years went by.” Does anyone remember laughter? These cats do.
“When you look up the term “underdogs,” there’s a band photo of Armored Saint looking back at you. They’ve struggled since 1983 to eek out a foothold in the metal market and in the process released some great albums like Raising Fear and Symbol of Salvation. And they were easy to root for as the quintessential blue-collar metal band stubbornly staying true to their sound, but they were always held back by bad timing, musical trends and personal misfortunes.” The Saint is marching back in and you may want to be in that number.
“Longtime readers will have gleaned of my general distaste for the post–The Faceless tech death scene of modern times. While there are still a lot of cool acts out there producing great tech death that doesn’t stray into the territory of the growing dissonant/experimental death scene (more on this later), such as Origin and Archspire, there are even more bands jumping aboard the proverbial white fifteen-passenger van and opening up their very own, cash-only, cut-rate ramen emporiums.” Kronos is unhappy and somebody has to pay.
“Rather than a true sub-genre, “avant-garde” seems more a default category for bands who can’t be pigeonholed with a nice, tidy tag. With a name like Ebonillumini it’s almost a given this is a band worthy of the avant-garde label. Less obvious is that they’re far removed from anything like an Arcturus style of forward-thinking, unconventional metal.” Icebergs ahead!
