Oh God, not you guys again. It’s fucking December, don’t y’all have halls to deck and neighborhoods to ruin with your festive warbling? I’m a busy Muppet, yo, I don’t have time to babble about the great shit you couldn’t be bothered to find on your own. Nope, I’m putting my foot down; I don’t care how much you goons look forward to TYMHM season, I’m not even a little bit interested in sharing a single one of my Bandcamp riches with you bastards/bastardettes and that’s that. Find someone else to tell you all about the glory that is Malady’s Black Maw, by Nullingroots.

…I mean it. You creeps get to learn about DauþuzMonvmentvm, instead. I definitely could go on for days about Malady’s Black Maw, or maybe Ofdrykkja‘s Gryningsvisor, but the miner threat of Monvmentvm feels more appropriate for your lot, being somewhat coal-related and all. Really, black metal this good is more than you rousers ov rabbles deserve, and for it to be lyrically centered around ‘traditional mining in Germany and Europe?’1 You should be so lucky. Such subject matter seems wildly appropriate for Monvmentvm itself, as well, being the (relatively) underground gem that it is. If you wanted existential misanthropy, you should have bothered someone covering Vofa‘s self-titled debut, but instead, you got a miserly Muppet and his mining metal, you mooks.

The first thing that grabbed me about Monvmentvm2 were the psychotic vocals. Having recently recovered from tangling with Hyalithe‘s grim trvth, I thought I was properly primed for some pitch-black primal pipe-work, but the shrieks and screams that emanate from Dauþuz‘ mines are on their own level. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone scream about dwarves with such unhinged vigor as on “Mæna Dauþuz,” and I’ve seen some things, man. Are the vocals as intense as those found on HWWAUOCH‘s Into the Labyrinth of Consciousness? Maybe, but I’m only allowed to cover so many T’s you might have M’d, so you turd burglars will never know! Also, yes.

Further manhandling my attention are the many, many riffs ov Dauþuz. Like Hovmod‘s Doedsformsjon, this album is loaded with grim melody and jet black energy; It’s no mean feat for the riffs of any black metal band to stand out in a year that also saw the release of Wallfahrer‘s Rattenritual, but Jørn damn does Monvmentvm get the headbanging. You had no more business missing this than you did Conquering the Deep Cycle by Weight of Emptiness, and if it were up to me I wouldn’t share a single spectacular discovery like Monvmentvm, Detrvire‘s Tovt Detrvire, Talsur‘s Eversleep or anything else with you Hall loitering mouth breathers. Bah humbug, yo.

Tracks to Check Out: Laiho by Kval An Oblivion Above by Together to the Stars


Show 2 footnotes

  1. According to the Bible The Metal Archives.
  2. Aside from the band’s logo, which is admittedly what initially piqued my interest.