Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

I have a friend that once said Lordi is proof there’s no god. Excessive? Yes. Wrong? No. But, no respecting demon would admit to creating Lordi. Lordi is an unholy abomination (both the good and bad) that appeared despite no one summoning them and no one needing them. The rubber costumes, Halloween-themed perversions, and Rob Zombie-meets-’80s hair metal ditties aren’t on the list of “Things Metalheads Need.” Yet, their Gwar-ish concepts spring up every couple of years as the Metal Monster Squad’s own songs (?) summon them via radio shows hosted by either Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider or Rockin’ Ralph Ruiz. And they don’t seem to care if you want what they have to offer or not—even if they’ve done it some ten times in twice as many years. And, only God/Satan knows, but there’s a handful of you sick sonsabitches out there that enjoy this crap. So, this review of Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) is for you. Be ashamed of yourself.

I fucking hate you… I mean… let’s get on with the review. Unlike their previous output, this new Lordi release is a collection of new songs that touch every one of the band’s influences. Which means… what? This is going to be a jumbled collection of styles ranging from ’70s-to-80s rock and ’80s-to-now metal? Well, thankfully, there’s still some cohesion from one song to the next but, goddamn, the band wasn’t joking about dipping deep into the honey jar. The more unique examples being the key, piano, and orchestral-driven Trans-Siberian Orchestra-esque “Apollyon,” the equally-as-cheesy key and bass-heavy ’70s rocker “Zombimbo,” and the smooth Audioslave cruiser that is “Blow My Fuse.” And there’s more to come.

Pieces that instill old and new vibes aplenty are “Shake the Baby Silent” and “Up to No Good.” The latter is lyrically-inspired by Alice Cooper, drenched in the sin of ’80s hair metal, and has the vocal umph of AC/DC. “Shake the Baby Silent” is a time warp  to the late ’90s when Rob Zombie ruled the “rebel radio shows.” It’s such a blatant attempt at the style that even Mr. Lordi sounds like the old Devil’s Reject himself. Yet, there’re still plenty of classic Lordi tracks throughout.1 While “Horror for Hire”2 is a decent, yet typical, sounding Lordi opener, “Cutterfly” and closer “Scream Demon” get the win. Like I mentioned in my Sexorcism review back in 2018, there’re always a couple of songs per album that I enjoy. And these are them. Both have those addictive choruses and hooking licks typical of the band. The former has some great, old-school key work and clever guitar solos, while the closer is Everything Lordi—including over-the-top ’80s synths and backing vox.

For those looking for the band’s modern heaviness, you’ll find the symphonic, melodic-death ditty “Evil” and the heavy, rocking “I Dug a Hole in the Yard for You.” “Evil” is a surprise attack whose chorus is as addictive as any whom it tries to mimic. Not to mention it’s the fastest and heaviest of the disc. “I Dug a Hole in the Yard for You,” though, is pure fun. And the added heaviness doesn’t hurt. Also, for all those diehard fans out there, the video below includes an added surprise.

Once again, what kills the album for me is the ridiculous opening, interrupting, and closing radio commercials. I understand the gag but my issue with these things is their interruption from song to song. That said, the opening “Radio SCG10” has some clever snippets of song “covers” that find the band imitating everyone from Ozzy Osbourne to Guns N’ Roses. But the rest of these radio intermissions are cheesy as fuck. Though most of you are going to hate me for saying it, Lordi put out an interesting release this year. If it wasn’t for the annoying interruptions and the occasional mediocre piece, I’d bump this release up in the score. At least it’s less pervy than Sexorcism.

Rating: 2.5/5.0
DR: 8 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: AFM Records
Website: facebook.com/lordiofficial
Releases Worldwide: January 31st, 2020

Show 2 footnotes

  1. Not like the rest aren’t Lordi trying to sound like someone else.
  2. I thought the chorus was saying “Hard-on for Hire.”
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