“Another year, another death metal band you’ve never heard tell of. Infra hail from Portugal (now checked off of the “Kronos’ global domination” list) and aim to please with groovy, dissonant blackened death that’s nearly as underground as the Earth’s mantle and comparably crushing.” Two songs, one Kronos.
“When I picked up the debut album of Serious Black for review, I knew nothing about this band. What I did know was that the band name Sirius-ly gives me an uncontrollable urge to hunt down Harry Potter and punch him in the fucking face. But once I decided to review this slab of melodic metal, I discovered that this sum bitch is serious-ly special.” Step back folks, we have another “super group” on our hands.
“In the recesses of my chrome and iron 80s heart, I have endless affection for the early Fates Warning albums like The Specter Within and Awaken the Guardian. They just don’t make classy, traditional metal like that anymore and I wish more retro noodle heads would turn their gaze back to that golden era of metal and give it a go.” What’s new, pussy cat? Quite a bit, actually.
“Voices of Destiny is a German symphonic metal band putting out their third record in 2015 (well, 2014 for Europe, but for some reason we didn’t get the promo). Since you’ve never heard of them, the best way to describe them is to say that they have a brand of symphonic metal that’s somewhat like a combination of the beauty and the beast style we all know and have mixed feelings about and, well, “core.” After putting out a pretty good debut in 2010 (From the Ashes), they followed up what was a bit more of a straight record with Power Dive in 2012. On Power Dive the band introduced Deadlock-like breakdowns, but still managed to produce a pretty good record with Maike Holzmann’s unique soprano doing a lot of heavy lifting. While they weren’t quite taking the symphocore scene by storm, Voices of Destiny had two adequate records under their belt and seemed to have some promise.” Then tragedy struck…
This post has been removed because it promoted Nazi or Nazi-adjacent metal bands or musicians. We apologize.
“Angra needs no introduction. The band has been a power metal fixture since the early 1990s and are one of the biggest metal bands to ever breach the borders of their native Brazil. Still, the last decade(ish) has been rocky for these guys, and you might not be blamed for having thought they called it quits. Not only did half the band quit in the early-aughts to go and start Shaman, but they’ve had dust-ups with management and were put on hold—even having been mistakenly reported as split-up entirely. Hell, between 2010’s Aqua and the release of Secret Garden they lost both a singer—who was replaced by Rhapsody [of Fire]’s Fabio Lione—and got a new 23 year-old drummer to boot. Consistency has been hard to come by for Angra of late.” Mr. The Metal Guy takes on Angra’s newest record. Does he bite the cheese?
““Five overlength songs of Sludge-Doom-Metal.” This is the opening statement made of Slug Lord’s sophomore release, Transmutation, on their one sheet. As far as inspirational and enthusing promotional materials go, this resides somewhere next to “chlamydia – perhaps the most average of all sexually-transmitted infections” and “Volvo – the best example of Swedish culture.”” Prepare the salt baths!
“Norway’s Einherjer were a band I always meant to check out, but never got around to back in the late 90’s. With all the big releases that were popping up left and right back then, it was hard to keep up in the days before the Internet, and with me being a young’n with limited funds and no means to check out bands save for issues of Metal Maniacs, I was thrown out of the loop on many groups, Einherjer among them.” These chaps are vestiges from the olden days of Viking metal, but once a Viking, always a Viking!
“Avant-garde metal as a subgenre nowadays is really devoid of meaning. Nothing more than an umbrella term to include all those bands that don’t fit neatly onto well-established shelves of “traditional” metal styles. In other words, it has become shorthand for “this is weird.”” The weird don’t need to fit in, but they should expect some wedgies nonetheless.
“Great, for my first review of 2015 I have a cold. My head is a slime factory, and some genius cephalic operations manager has decided that the best place to store the snot-stock awaiting delivery to my nostrils is behind my eardrums. I’m fortunate that the band I’m reviewing is Desolate Shrine, then, as their ultra-dense death metal is one of the few things powerful enough to penetrate through the aural mucus wall.” Tastes like death, but it’s snot.
