“Maelstrom is a pretty popular handle, but the one we are looking at today has quite a bit of history. Formed in 1988 in West Hempstead, New York, they share their birth year with Iced Earth as well as yours truly. The Iced Earth part is more important, as Maelstrom released a few demos in a similar style, mixing thrash and power metal with a symphonic flair before dropping off the face of the planet.” Fire, ice and shitstorms.
“While this normally isn’t quite my cup of skull-pit-juice, these three Greeks have got some serious chops on them. I may not know what befell the erstwhile, but that’s neither here nor there—friends, we’ve got death metal to listen to.” Before the befell.
““First to betray / First to disobey / First to stand up / Against tyranny,” screams Sergio Amalfitano on the title track of ACxDC’s second full-length Satan Is King. Delivered in one breath and against a grindcore wall of seesawing guitars and hammering drum blasts, these first few verses are a distillation of the Los Angeles-based powerviolence quartet.” I’m gonna get you, Satan get you!
“A band’s swan song can often be a masterpiece, an emotional rollercoaster, or a dud. When a band knows they’re calling it quits for a while, most often they will pour their hearts into that final album. That’s what I hoped for when I grabbed Extinct Cults, the latest (and last, prior to what is described as a long hiatus) from German proto-rockers Mountain Witch.” Went witching.
“But Franckensteina Strataemontanus is not a true retelling of Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley. If any of you know the myths and legends surrounding the creation of this story, you know that there’re a lot of tales that involve Johann Konrad Dippel. There’s no proof that Shelley was ever inspired by this strange individual, but the connection is hard to ignore. An individual who reportedly invented nitroglycerin, experimented on dead animals and human cadavers, and created an elixir that would allow him to live until the age of 135. Here, Carach Angren provides us with a slight reinvention of the classic Frankenstein story. One that uses artistic license to make Dippel the psychotic creator of an unloved monster.” Frank n’ frowners.
“I can tell you right now: Akolyth’s self-titled debut is not the standard Muppet order. Blacker than a collapsed sun’s anus, and twice as heavy and half as clean, Akolyth is pvre obsidian carnage of the kvltest order, a raw black nightmare as far removed from my gaze-y gaze as possible.” Black Friday.
“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! There’s a new Shok Paris album floating in the glop and gunk of the promo sump! Truly no one saw that coming because Shok Paris was a blip on the 80s metal radar, managing three albums that were decent but definitely low second-tier in the grand scheme of things. They’re most famous (and I use that term loosely here) for the over-the-top vocals of frontman, Vic Hix. The man sounded like Blackie Lawless hopped up on discount Super Soldier Formula and 5 Hour Energy while trying to channel Danzig and Messiah Marcolin simultaneously.” Paris had it coming.
“Figuring out what a band sounds like is akin to writing a biography: look first to the influences. Alestorm’s biography would need chapters devoted to a beloved and trve band named Bal-Sagoth. Early Alestorm material is based around the idea that it would be fun if Bal-Sagoth were Scottish, got drunk, played sea shanties, and kept the keyboard heroics.” Who ordered the Ale with Bals?
“Band names are important. They can often tell you a lot about a band or artist. Of course, the music matters most but I will frequently, while plumbing the murkier depths of Bandcamp, stick on a track purely on the strength of a band’s name. That is how I came to find Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean, for example. Conversely, a poor name can be a big negative, although, as Gazpacho demonstrate, a stellar band can rise above a terrible moniker. Every now and again though, I stumble across something I want to like simply because of the name. And that is how I feel about Eyeless in Gaza.” What’s in a name?
“Do you miss Wintersun? Are you hoping Jari Mäenpää gets his groove back soon? Have an epic melodeath itch that no amount of black metal shenanigans can scratch? Well, Atavistia is here to take your mind off Jari’s attempts to convince you to build a recording studio for him to finish Time II.” Low winter sunblind.
