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Author & Punisher – Melk En Honing Review

Author & Punisher – Melk En Honing Review

“As far as we know, futurist music is no more. One of the last attempts to resuscitate the arthritic soul of the clanging artistic mechanism in the rock and metal community was probably Mike Patton’s Pranzo Oltranzista, but the year was 1997 and I was almost two decades younger. In the meantime, neither the likes of John Zorn or Elliott Sharp have ever contributed to the reiteration of that crime against common sense that was immortalised on Marinetti’s Manifest of Futurism in 1909. Too abstract and complex, their art; too prudent and astute their approach, contemporary artists have been neglecting pure noise for over 50 years.” Confused? That must mean Alex is back to confound and bewilder.

Failure – The Heart Is A Monster Review

Failure – The Heart Is A Monster Review

“1990’s alt-rockers Failure tend to rank high on headbangers’ lists of non-metal pleasures, due in no small part to dark, dissonant songwriting and sonic girth that could rival any doom band. Those qualities produced two excellent records, Magnified (1994) and Fantastic Planet (1996), followed by an opiate-fueled breakup in ’97.” And now we get their hopefully opiate-free return!

Lorna Shore – Psalms Review

Lorna Shore – Psalms Review

Lorna Shore: if you’re not a big fan of deathcore (and let’s be honest, you probably aren’t) you either have never heard of the band, or only know them because of that fucking cat video. That changes today. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but these guys have something special going on – or at least they seemed to after 2012’s Bone Kingdom EP. They’re definitely core – the singer’s earlobes could be used to bundle asparagus and those blast beats sure as hell aren’t acoustic – yet also, well, really good.” But aren’t we supposed to hate deathcore?

Goatsnake – Black Age Blues Review

Goatsnake – Black Age Blues Review

Goatsnake was originally formed by veterans of seminal doom act The Obsessed, and though they’ve rattled around since 1996, they haven’t been the most prolific crew in the doomiverse. With only two albums and a few EPs to their credit and their last full-length dropping way back in 2000, they would already be relegated to a footnote in the Big Book of Doom if not for how righteous early works like Goatsnake Vol. I were, and the sheer number of bands ripping off their sound.” Goat and snake…unite!

Thornesbreed – GTRD Review

Thornesbreed – GTRD Review

“To pilfer a phrase from the revered postmodern philosopher Christopher B. Bridges, “there’s something wrong if you can’t stand still.” If his words are to be taken at face value, Germany’s Thornesbreed must have sensed a problem in their sound. Consisting of competent but unexciting death metal, their 2003 debut The Splendour of the Repellent was followed up eight years later in 2011 by the 273.15 Degrees Below Freezing EP, which can, for the sake of expediency, be described as “Profanatica but not as good.” 2015 sees the band releasing their second full-length in the form of the enigmatically titled GTRD, marking another step in the band’s perpetual musical wanderings.” Wandering, meandering and change for change’s sake. Is that a recipe for success?

Night Flight Orchestra – Skyline Whispers Review

Night Flight Orchestra – Skyline Whispers Review

“Way back in 2012, the a little band called Night Flight Orchestra issued an under-the-radar gem called Internal Affairs. Despite having members from two past-their-prime metal bands (Soilwork & Arch Enemy), the music recalled the golden age of ’70s radio rock with passion and quality. Fast forward three years, we get word that NFO has released their follow-up, Skyline Whispers…a few days ago. We missed them twice!” We feel shame.

Pyrrhon – Growth Without End Review

Pyrrhon – Growth Without End Review

“After naming The Mother of Virtues 2014’s best album, it can be unambiguously inferred that I have quite the soft spot for New York’s strangest and most horrific four-piece, Pyrrhon. After Relapse dropped them from their roster earlier this year, citing, of all things, a “lack of commercial success,” the group was quickly snatched up by underground micro-label Handshake Inc., who are doing the world a service by releasing the new EP, Growth Without End.” The Walrus of Approval has been given.

Ironsword – None But the Brave Review

Ironsword – None But the Brave Review

“It’s hard to remain trve in such false times. Wear a broadsword into the local supermarket and you’ll get many a suspicious glance. Build an enormous stone monument to Ye Old Gods on your front lawn and you’ll invariably run into trouble with the town Zoning Board. Sacking weaker neighbors and carrying off their daughters? Forget all about it. Such are the cursed times we live in. But when the going gets tough, the trve get going, and that’s why Ironsword is so damn important.” It’s time to hold those war hammers high. Higher! HIGHER!

Ninkharsag – The Blood of Celestial Kings Review

Ninkharsag – The Blood of Celestial Kings Review

“Reaching the fourth decade of living can be a somewhat stressing time in anyone’s life. Yourself, friends and family start to be affected by an almost insurmountable amount of maladies of body and mind. One may be what could only be defined as chronic musical disappointment.” Will a throwback black metal act trigger the symptoms?