Let’s just be brootally honest for a moment, shall we? Six Feet Under is the worst “big” band in the entire death metal genre. Most of their releases are either below average or simply godawful, and after a seventeen year run, they can only boast two semi-good albums of original material. They’ve spewed platter after platter of groove-based, chuggy, simplistic death that only fellow neanderthal deathers Jungle Rot could fully appreciate (though they probably look down on them a bit too).
Enigmatic and uncomfortably cheerful, gregarious and ambitious Happy Metal Guy managed to catch up with Mirai Kawashima from the Japanese avant-garde black metal band Sigh. He bombarded him with positivity, amusing anecdotes and uncomfortable questions about steel phalli until Mr. Kawashima relented; answering the questions and talking about… flowers? This fucking blog gets weirder and weirder every day.
Raise the sails and fly the black mark, the original metal pirates are back to plunder your booty (in a strictly platonic way, of course).
Anthems baby, fucking ANTHEMS!! That’s what Primal Fear has been churning out since ’98 and that’s probably what they’ll keep churning out ’til they die (old metalheads never really die, they just become classic rock). While they began life as Germanic Judas Priest clones (mostly due to the Halford-esque vocal stylings of mega-voice Ralf Scheepers [Sheeples? – AMG]), they slowly evolved into their own sound, merging classic Priest, Maiden and Saxon influences with europower metal like Iron Savior and Gamma Ray (Ralf’s former band). In the process, they’ve become one of the most dependable, consistent stars in the heavy metal galaxy, releasing mindlessly enjoyable, rockin albums with moments of sheer metallic brilliance (basically, they’re the AC/DC of quasi-Judas Priest clones). Their ninth studio album, Unbreakable may be their best yet and packs one old-school, fist-in-the-air anthem after another. They know what side their bread is buttered on and they know their craft inside and out. There aren’t any surprises here beyond how catchy and consistent the songs are and the high level of classic metal enthusiasm they bring to the party. It sure ain’t proggy or forward-thinking, but this is metal-as-hell and that’s enough for Steel Druhm the Elder.
Highway Pirates? Well, that album title blows more than the Last Airbender! If I didn’t already know the music of Sweden’s Bullet, I would likely skip over this release based on severe title failure alone. I mean, c’mon, Highway Pirates? Pair that with the painfully cheesy 80s style album cover and these guys are not doing themselves any favors from a strictly promotional standpoint. Thankfully though, I do know Bullet and what they deliver, which is 110% throwback retro metal/hard rock that sounds like a fusion of old AC/DC and old Accept. I was pretty taken with the goofy but infectiously rockin’ charm of their 2008 album Bite the Bullet and little has changed here as far as sound, style or intent. This is simple, neanderthal metal/rock without any attempts to be thoughtful or important in any way. Beer drinking music, drunken weekend music, call it what you will but this is fun and catchy stuff without pretense. Is it original? No. Is it modern? No. Is it good? Yes, yes it is.
Nobody, and I mean nobody does epic Scottish war metal better than those crazy Germans in Grave Digger! On their FIFTEENTH album The Clans Will Rise Again, the Diggers revisit territory well covered by 1996’s Tunes of War and we get all new tales of William “Braveheart” Wallace and his efforts to cast off the yoke of English tyranny and oppression. By now most know what to expect from a new Grave Digger platter since these guys are the AC/DC of Germanic metal and there aren’t many big surprises here either. You get some rollicking, guitar-driven, semi-thrash power metal numbers with the unique and harsh warble of sole original member Chris Boltendahl, and few slower power ballads tossed in for atmosphere and such. Although there are significant consistency issues here, if you liked what they were cooking before, you’ll probably like this and if you didn’t, you still won’t.
All aboard the Trans-Si-Therion Express! Conductor extraordinaire Christofer Johnsson will be along shortly to check your Avant-card to be sure you are worthy of the long, strange and bewildering musical odyssey he carefully prepared for you. And quite a journey it is through Therion’s fourteenth album Sitra Ahra (fourth in the quadrilogy made up of Deggial, Sirius B and Lemuria). Continuing along with his own unique vision of sympho-orchestro-gotho-metal, Johnsson may well have outdone himself here in scope and excess. If forced to describe Sitra Ahra in one word, that word would be bombastic. If granted another word, it would be pretentious. If given but three more, they would be over-the-top. How pretentious and over-the-top is Sitra Ahra you ask? So pretentious that it makes Nightwish and Epica sound like AC/DC. So over-the-top, it could only be equaled by a production of The Vagina Monologues staring both Gwar and Immortal. Now, clearly restraint was never the point here and Johnsson’s motto has always been a “more is more” and that’s great. But when is more TOO much?
Six Feet Under is back with the third installment in their Graveyard Classics series, and fortunately for us, this time they’re not covering AC/DC songs. I suspect that the majority of you either know what these things are about, have heard them, or just don’t care at all so I’m not going to spend tons of time on this, but Graveyard Classics 3 is a cover record from the groove oriented death metal band Six Feet Under. Barnes and crew have, this time around, elected a bunch of their favorite tracks from before they were in bands and have warped them into death rock tracks. The result being sort of cartoonish and silly: but mildly enjoyable at the same time.
