Aeternitas

Eluveitie – Ategnatos Review

Eluveitie – Ategnatos Review

“Taking in Eluveitie‘s closing performance on 70K Tons with sentynel, I recognized something: Eluveitie is popular. Not like entry-level popular, not poser popular (well, maybe), but actually popular. The boat’s Mosh Pit Residentia showed up in spades for that set, but with the floor so choked with the trve and weeb alike, group activities like conga lines and dance parties sprung up instead. Everyone knew the songs—hell, I knew the songs. The nonet put on too great a show to discount, far better than other bias-confirming trainwrecks I witnessed that weekend. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve written Eluveitie and Ategnatos off too soon.” Then again…

Aeternitas – Tales of the Grotesque Review

Aeternitas – Tales of the Grotesque Review

Aeternitas are show people. The touch of a thespian graces every pocket of their off-off-off Broadway metal career. 2016’s House of Usher took a step back from their Rappacinis Tochter stage show, to a green-as-a-clover Dr. Wvrm‘s great relief. Even then, the Poe-inspired production struggled to balance theatrics, symphonics, and plain old musics. Now, the Germans ditch a single narrative for a collection of them in hopes that fifth entry Tales of the Grotesque can mend the gap between art and fart.” Community theater-core.

X.Kernel – Face the Truth Review

X.Kernel – Face the Truth Review

“How do you feel about keyboards? Do you like ’em gloomy and atmospheric? Synthy and cheesy? Perhaps the classic piano flavor does it for you. Whatever your tastes, X.Kernel have got you covered. Their debut Face the Truth follows eight long years of melodic rumination and, if the album art can be believed, enough Phoenix Wright to cause nightmares.” Keys to the kingdom.

Mastercastle – Wine of Heaven Review

Mastercastle – Wine of Heaven Review

“Since their 2009 debut, Mastercastle have blasted from the blocks by channeling Iron Maiden‘s otherworldly focus on output. The Italians released five albums in six years, intent on spreading their cheesy neo-classicisms far and wide. This shotgun approach has done the band no favors, though; their potency stretched thinner with each new release. With lead axeman Pier Gonella nearing his 30th album, concerns of diminishing creative stores seem all too prescient. Mastercastle‘s sixth release Wine of Heaven reaches the breaking point, shaking the emperor down, stripping him naked, and flogging him through the streets.” All cheese, no wine.

Aeternitas – House of Usher Review

Aeternitas – House of Usher Review

“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.