“NASA once lost a perfectly good spacecraft due to a units error, which led to a miscalculated course and a fiery collision with the destination planet. The navigation team had raised concerns that it was off course before the actual crash, but no action was taken. Managers preferred to assume everything was fine until it was too late. Here on final approach hoping everything is fine is Italy’s Blue Hour Ghosts with their second album, Due.” Brace for impact.
“I’ve seen the question time and time again on any review below a 2.5. “Why even review this?” Well, there’s a bunch of reasons. An important one is, as soon as we pick a promo, we’re honor bound to review it regardless of quality. Oftentimes we don’t even know what we’re getting into, signing the contract over only the band name, album title and genre. A writer may start up a promising promo and have his head in his hands before the first minute is out, knowing he’s on the hook. That wasn’t the case with Defecto; I’ve reviewed the Danes before, to unspectacular result, and fully intended not to subject myself this time. But the band was brought up during our monthly meeting and the Emperor commanded me to pick up where I left off. Drat.” Double broken.
“Once again, here we are. Being that person who routinely chooses review fodder based upon only band name, genre and album art, I encounter countless risky promos. Today, Idiot Robot, an American duo coming out of Florida and Arizona, enters my cubicle with their self-titled album. The band claims to offer something I’ve never heard before—death pop.” Robots are not good people.
“It’s easy to underestimate the importance of what song to select as a single. Most of the time, this will be the first point of contact for prospective new fans, and where they will decide whether the music at hand is to their tastes. So a single must show the full spectrum of a band’s music at their best, but in a digestible manner. My first sampling of Unzucht came from advance single “Nein,” and my snap judgement discarded the band as a poor Rammstein imitation.” Judging books by covers.
“But if we disregard the stains of the posturing rap machismo, there’s nothing inherently bad about alternative metal. Generally speaking, it’s often got muscly, infectious riffs, vocal hooks for days, and a bass presence other genres could learn from. It’s the opposite of trve and kvlt, but elitism had always been a dead end. The only thing that often irritates me greatly about alternative metal is the high levels of either emo or tough-guy bluster. So what if we replace that with a fantastic set of bronzed female vocals and a subtle dusting of prog? That’s when we get Blame Zeus.” Commence the Zeusical.
“As Dr. Fisting and I sat on the floor outside the washroom at Angry Metal Guy Headquarters, quaffing the last of the Christmas party hobo wine, we agreed that, while folks these days might consider Raketkanon and their shtick kind of weird, back in 1994 the band would have been comfortably on stage opening for Faith No More. Their bizarre accouterments, kitschy stage shows, and (what seems to be, although I could be wrong) nonsensical lyrical dialect would be right at home in an Angel Dust–King for a Day, Fool for a Lifetime era. That works for me: I love Faith No More, and more than that, I love bands that push the envelope and are willing to go on unexpected forays, even within single songs.” Freaks with a flag (and record deal)
“Greek prog/alt quintet Mother of Millions have two albums under their belt, and now Artifacts is their third, and while (full disclosure) I haven’t heard the first two, I now have them queued up for future spins. Those of you who only like your metal fast and brvtal, carry on. But those of you who might’ve enjoyed last year’s Kontinuum release, keep reading: Mother of Millions are right up your alley. Think equal parts cinematic (Kontinuum), progressive (Katatonia), and alternative (Dead Letter Circus), and you have a rough idea of what’s to come.” This mom’s no joke.
![Exit…Hall Left: The Weenie Metal Round-Up [Things You Might Have Missed 2018]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Dr-Wvrm.gif)
“Not everyone can be BRUTAL ENOUGH!!! Some of us are hobbits; diminutive, folksy, averse to Camo™ and Camo™-derived accouterments. Maybe you just want to smell the flowers, despite your allergies. That’s ok. We’re here for you.” Hello, weenies.
“In the high pressure game of Promo Sump Bingo, sometimes you win big. Vanishing Kids, an act wholly unknown to me, lists themselves as “somnambulic doom,” and that sounded interesting enough to snatch from the murky waters and scurry away with to my Ape Cave of Solitude. The thing is, they’re not really doom at all. In fact, they’re one of those rare bands that openly defies easy classification.” Don’t think, just listen.
“What makes concept records ‘successful’? The expectations attached to them are never merely about the music alone. Much like musicals and operas, they transcend the genres they’re based on and approach the programmatic. But is it the originality and immersiveness of the concept, the quality of the accompanying music, or an intermedial dimension and interaction between the two that defines them the most?” Nautical tales and torn sails.
